24 May 2019
Contact Us
May Day May Day May Date

OK. Dignified. It’s done. And we are left with a major massive mess. Oh Mrs
May. “Strong and stable…nothing has changed….” Shall we
repeat ad nauseum
until we are begging for images of Theresa responding to music beats? Augh.
She will surely be remembered for her rigidity (no, no, not ‘stubborn’), her
unrelenting obsession with immigration and oh yes, incessant lies – about
everything. She couldn’t even stop in her farewell speech.

Her achievements – none. But lest we forget, as if we could, Windrush, Grenfell,
her championing of austerity creating the worst child poverty in three decades,
the housing crisis, surge in violent crime, oh we could go on and on - except the
total destruction of her ‘nasty’ party. OK. A reason to be cheerful. Strange
woman, that Mrs May. Well, she will always have outfit-matching Phil.

Cat…bag…Larry’s attempt to take all the attention. Lounging on the steps of
No10 minutes before Theresa’s emergence, a security guard stepped in, out to
save Theresa from further humiliation.
Upstaged by a cat.

Time to hand over those leopard kitten heels to Boris. He’ll know what to do with
them. So we can look forward with total panic for Boris to push her out of the
doors of No10. And we are left with her other mantras: “
no deal is better than a
bad deal
” and you know, “Brexit means Brexit”. Right.

Ah. Boris is salivating at the very thought of a no deal. Oh Boris. Possibly 20
candidates to tell lies about. Can’t wait. Help! With bookies’ odds implying a
roughly 40 per cent chance that he will be the next Tory leader, ahead of
Dominic Raab on 20 per cent and Mikey aka Michael Gove on 10 per cent.
Boris wants us to
collectively fall off the cliff, while he watches and laughs.
“Mine. It’s all mine. My little kingdom. I’m crowning myself.”

Money Talks

Remember when only recently Nige was ‘skint’? Hmm. Not so now is he – or was
he ever? Not. £450,000, a £4m house, a car, a driver and god knows what else
all from - guess here – right, Aaron Banks again. And we know that Nige
amassed his personal wealth from his career in the City.
Ah the man of the

Remember that Nige has been
the subject of numerous EU corruption
. Examples? Using EU funds for his anti-EU tour of 2014, using EU-
paid staff to double up as UKIP staff (MEPs' staff are explicitly banned from
working for national political parties). And - the Leave.EU campaign - fronted by
Nige - was bankrolled by Banks with £8 million and yes, the largest single
donation in British political history. All very clear isn’t it? Not quite. Then there is
the little known company, Thorn In The Side Ltd, interesting name that, it lists
Nige as the sole director. It is reported that Thorn is used by Nige
to reduce his
tax bill
. No! Really? Not our Nige. And as an MEP on behalf of UKIP he ‘boasted’
– not a good look, Nige taking £2m in expenses in 2009. So he has always been
‘at it’ hasn’t he.

Channel 4 News reported that the cash was used to fund
Nige’s “lavish lifestyle”
in the wake of the 2016 EU Referendum. Kevin Maguire in
the Mirror reminds
us: “Dishonesty’s the hallmark of his political heist as he dodges questions about
personal funding, swerves his Brexit Party’s leading candidate in North West
England thinking people should be free to watch child porn and runs fuming from
a sick record of demanding NHS privatisation.”

Naturally he's against employees' (ie; serfs) rights and protections. He actually
stood up in the European parliament to disparage climate change action: “one of
biggest, stupidest collective mistakes in history". Perhaps Nige has been
spending far too much time in his favourite country – the US.

Remain to be Seen

Thanks Jezza. An unambiguous pro-Remain position from Labour would have
given the party a resounding 27% lead over the Conservatives, an 8% lead over
the Brexit Party and a 14% increase in their overall vote, new research has

The founder of Remain United, Gina Miller, tells
The New European: "Our
research shows clearly that Mr Corbyn's unwillingness to get off the fence on
Brexit is causing real damage to his party's electoral prospects. By refusing
unequivocally to change its official policy to back remaining in the EU, and
promising to hold a second referendum on whether to stay in or leave the EU,
is massively out of step
with his own Labour MPs, party members, supporters
and - crucially - with Labour voters.

"If Mr Corbyn did what these poll findings clearly tell him he should do, Labour
would transform its electoral performance in every region of Great Britain,
including its Northern England heartlands. To turn his back on these findings is a
gross dereliction of duty and an unforgiveable betrayal of the legitimate hopes
and aspirations of Labour voters."

Vote of Thanks

The Government could face legal action from EU citizens living in the UK after
many complained that they were
not able to vote in this week’s European
Parliament elections.

Possibly thousands of EU citizens living in the UK were turned away from polling
stations owing to a “variety of administrative errors”. Right. Names crossed off,
UC1 form arriving too late to register, being told to go and “
vote in your own
”. Nice. Many were eligible voters who had successfully registered to
vote and had been living and voting in the UK for years. Even the actual
European director of Amnesty International, Gauri van Gulik, was told she could
only vote in the Netherlands. She lives in London. Possibly ‘International’ was the
clue to reject her.

Walk This Way

Oh dear, oh dear me. Fingerprint and facial recognition are not fool-proof so
what is next you ask?
To identify people by the way they walk. What don’t ‘they’
know about us? Really. Seriously. With facial recognition mainly inaccurate, we
will have to develop various ‘walks’. And when someone has had too much to
drink - now that includes nearly everyone on the weekends – how accurate will it
be? What don’t they know about us? Everything. So I’m not buying – literally
anything advertised specifically at me. Don’t even try to ‘consume’ me.

Actually it’s
all just too late. They record when we change the volume on our tvs,  
switching on a light or a smart plug, cleaning your floors with one of those
devices. So stop hitting the ‘accept’ then. ‘Opt out’? Not a chance. Life has now
become so surreal it is unrecognisable. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Too late,

The LA Way

Oh where is her new American PR guru? The one who doesn’t realise American
spelling is not British spelling. Oh oops. Time to get back to work now that it has
just been revealed that Megan (OK Me-gain)
exchanged private messages with
Matt Cardle (the X Factor winner if you have forgotten) in 2015 asking to meet in
person just months before she met Prince Harry.

A source told The Sun: “Matt followed Meghan initially in early 2015 because he
thought she was a beautiful star from Suits. “But
he was stunned when she
followed him immediately back and started messaging him. She said she was a
big fan of his work.” As she would.

Following MM’s modus operandi, Cardle “ghosted” her when he met his girlfriend.

There’s more naturally. Evidently MM ‘begged’ Lizzie Cundy (a model and TV
presenter) to help her meet a famous British man and then cut the TV presenter
out of her life when she met Prince Harry. As she would.

In her autobiography
Tales From The Red Carpet: “We were having a girly
chat and then she said, ‘
Do you know any famous guys? I’m single and I really
love English men’. So I said, ‘We’ll go out and find you someone’.” Cundy was
not invited to the wedding.

RIP the lovely Judith Kerr…tiger tiger still burning bright….
Contact Us