LETTERS FROM LONDON
REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
25 March 2017
It's the Hair, Stupid                        

Oh we see. Non-elected PM Theresa has announced she will invoke Article 50
the 29th of March. This despairing news was the same day as it has been
revealed that she has been photographed by American photographer to the rich
& famous, rich and famous Annie Leibovitz for Vogue. American Vogue.
Indeed. Not British Vogue then, Theresa? Hmmm. Curious.

So is Theresa waving her hand-holding hand to The Orange-One now infamous
hand-holding hand: “Yo Donny! It’s me Theresa! Remember me? I’m the one
who can get you in with the Queen.” Can you think of another reason? Attention
in America? Distraction in Britain? Theresa. No one knows who you are in
America. They didn’t know who Cameron was - his book has possibly sold two
copies there. They only know the Queen and – oh how could we forget? – Ex-
Waity.

Leibovitz has chosen to photograph Theresa with her hair gelled back off her
face in a sort of wind-swept look or.... Hmmm. Is it just me or is that a rather
masculine look? Hmmm. Quite a few ways to view this don’t you know. But
Theresa has given those £1000 pair of leather trousers a miss. As the
fashionista she is, she’s chosen a mid-range high street label. Don’t you just
love obvious Tory attempts at peasant ‘I’m one of you’ manipulation?

We haven’t forgotten Vogue editor-in-chief, Anna Wintour, was made a dame in
the New Year honours have we? Just saying. In a recent speech on Brexit,
Theresa said about that £1,190 Vivienne Westwood tartan suit she wore during
her leadership bid: “People have described it as a lucky suit. I think I’m going to
stop wearing it now.” Oh I don’t know, Theresa. Lucky for us if you do though….
She wore an £800 Escada dress while speaking about being the leader of the
“party of the workers.” Now are we thinking arrogant, ignorant or thick here?
Surely you know her husband is not only her government advisor (and spy), but
her fashion consultant. Oh dear. Oh dear. What would we do without ‘the
husband behind the woman’? Do you suppose he was instrumental in creating
Theresa’s new ‘helmet’ hair style? Not a good military look. Trust me here.


Home is Where the Heartless is

Now this is what we really love; how the Home Office supports EU residents.
Here is a perfect example of total evil idiocy.

You’ve lived in the UK since 1999 – keep this date in mind – you are married to
a Brit, you are a German neuroscientist at University College London – yes, a
neuroscientist – and you have been told you have to ‘go home’.

Now what is wrong with this scenario? Everything. You thought, like all the other
EU residents, that there was no need for any special visa, no residence cards,
no reporting to the Home Office. There wasn’t until now.

How many are affected you ask? Oh say, three million. No details have been
issued. Ha. Seriously you aren’t indoctrinated enough to think the government
could possibly ever have a plan – concerning anything – are you? Clearly they
suffer collectively from a forward-thinking brain deficiency. Or – they are just so
utterly arrogant, contemptuous, smug, supercilious. Or all of the above?

And what does the Home Office (home? whose? where?... just saying) offer all
those ‘foreigners’? An 85-page! ‘form and supply plus reams of supporting
documents including pay slips, bank statements and proof of address.’ It weighs
a kilo.

If you make a simple mistake in filling out the forms – I’m thinking misspelling -
you will be banished, expelled, dispatched, chucked out, or simply: deported.
Those few aliens/applicants who have been accepted are reconsidering staying
or have decided to leave the UK.

Wednesday the 29th we should wear black.


A Loss for Words

“Are you OK?” “Where were you?” were the questions asked throughout Britain
after the horrific attack in Westminster. What more is there to say other than
expressing empathy for those hurt and killed and their families and friends – and
naturally playing tribute to the brilliant response of the police, the public, the
doctors.

PM Theresa read a prepared script in Parliament, but the peasants are saying
she should have placed flowers, a wreath on the bridge. No comment necessary.
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