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| Letters From London |
| Humorous Views on London Culture, Royals, Gossip and Politics |
It's a Barbie Olympics - 22 August 2008
Dancing girls sporting bikinis waving seductive diaphanous fabrics, semi-transparent bikinis,
skimpy outfits and Playboy. It must be the summer Olympics.
And yes, they were originally naked…naked athletes, naked men…and undeniably they aren’t
naked now. So much for homo-eroticism. Now male athletes are kitted out in T-shirts, loose tank
tops and shorts, often baggy knee-length shorts at that.
Not much equality between the dressed sexes though. It surely must be mandatory for women to
ask officials before each event: “Does my bum look big (enough) in these tiny pants?” “No dear.
They need to be a bit smaller to qualify. Perhaps a thong.”
Without using free-styled-wrestling and being tied up in a British flag, I couldn’t find anybody who
was willing to watch the ‘girls’ gymnastics; too creepy, too pervy, too perfect for the prurient
public – ie, paedophiles. Grinning Gary “I didn’t know they were ten” Glitter plainly is taping the
events.
Girls, women, whatever - although to be honest, regardless of what age they say they all look
about twelve - get marks for ‘artistry’ while both sexes get marks for athleticism. Athleticism.
Isn't that the extraordinary running, jumping, flipping, spinning high in the air? Exactly how do
pointy fingers and toes, freakish bendy backs, suggestive poses in skimpy outfits augment those
amazing achievements? Dear me. The men wear sleeveless tops paired with polyester trousers
that appear to end at the toe, accentuating broad steroid-enhanced shoulders. They may appear
totally out of proportion, but they aren’t unseemly – they are simply deformed.
Beach volleyball borders on soft porn. Amazingly fit, oiled, sandy bodies drenched in rain,
Ipanema-inspired swimwear highlighted with grunts. What channel am I watching?
Who styles the elite athletes? Agent Provocateur and Abercrombie & Fitch?
Exhibitionism is clearly an integral part of women’s athletics. Who knew? Silly me. Four Germans
have posed naked for Hugh Hefner’s magazine. One Brit is considering it. Brilliant. “I just wanted
to show off my medals…. Hi Mum.”
Dancing girls sporting bikinis waving seductive diaphanous fabrics, semi-transparent bikinis,
skimpy outfits and Playboy. It must be the summer Olympics.
And yes, they were originally naked…naked athletes, naked men…and undeniably they aren’t
naked now. So much for homo-eroticism. Now male athletes are kitted out in T-shirts, loose tank
tops and shorts, often baggy knee-length shorts at that.
Not much equality between the dressed sexes though. It surely must be mandatory for women to
ask officials before each event: “Does my bum look big (enough) in these tiny pants?” “No dear.
They need to be a bit smaller to qualify. Perhaps a thong.”
Without using free-styled-wrestling and being tied up in a British flag, I couldn’t find anybody who
was willing to watch the ‘girls’ gymnastics; too creepy, too pervy, too perfect for the prurient
public – ie, paedophiles. Grinning Gary “I didn’t know they were ten” Glitter plainly is taping the
events.
Girls, women, whatever - although to be honest, regardless of what age they say they all look
about twelve - get marks for ‘artistry’ while both sexes get marks for athleticism. Athleticism.
Isn't that the extraordinary running, jumping, flipping, spinning high in the air? Exactly how do
pointy fingers and toes, freakish bendy backs, suggestive poses in skimpy outfits augment those
amazing achievements? Dear me. The men wear sleeveless tops paired with polyester trousers
that appear to end at the toe, accentuating broad steroid-enhanced shoulders. They may appear
totally out of proportion, but they aren’t unseemly – they are simply deformed.
Beach volleyball borders on soft porn. Amazingly fit, oiled, sandy bodies drenched in rain,
Ipanema-inspired swimwear highlighted with grunts. What channel am I watching?
Who styles the elite athletes? Agent Provocateur and Abercrombie & Fitch?
Exhibitionism is clearly an integral part of women’s athletics. Who knew? Silly me. Four Germans
have posed naked for Hugh Hefner’s magazine. One Brit is considering it. Brilliant. “I just wanted
to show off my medals…. Hi Mum.”
