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| Letters From London |
| Humorous Views on London Culture, Royals, Gossip and Politics |
Yo! - 23 July 2006
There I was, sauntering in sweltering sun on a Vienna street having boycotted Portugal and Italy
for my holiday…World Cup duplicity et al…when the headline of The Independent newspaper
shouted out from a news stand: “YO, BLAIR!” For a moment I was thrown with the use of the
8cm exclamation mark…an expression of emotion in Vienna, or the whole of Austria for all I
know…but then things began to get clearer.
Inside the paper were those sequential shots of the Littlebushboy with his mouth full, wide open
(don’t you just hate that?). Could this method be employed by those mouth-stuffing-contestants
in the cuisine-starved US? Could this method of consumption be the clue to the boy’s near-death-
by-pretzel episode? Yet there he was, the illegal president of the United States, the first born
son of that deceitfully devious political dynasty, able to stuff his mouth with food and at the same
time to pose, to sneer, to emanate confidence, condescension, pomposity, superiority; quite the
example of multi-tasking by the simple-minded. But perhaps a bit too scarily reminiscent of that
famous/infamous chin-jutting shot of Mussolini on the balcony wouldn’t you say?
The boy beckoning his poodle. Not even a “Yo, bro!” or a “Yo, Tone…Yo, good bud…Yo,
dude…pal…big guy…amigo…” (a decided queasiness is overtaking me at this moment). Am I
mistaken here or doesn’t summoning Tony by his surname imply a certain lack of familiarity?
Doesn’t all that direct communicating to their mutually shared god they do together when they
are alone count for anything? The very same god who whispers in their little ears to bomb Iraq,
Afghanistan, Syria, Iran? Maybe a “Yo, TP or LD!” now that TB has manoeuvred himself from
poodle to toy poodle or even special lap dog. It really is sad, pathetically sad.
An acquiescing, grovelling Tony: “Great Chief! Old Georgie Boy! Good old boy! Alright, alright.
Send Condi instead of me to negotiate. I don’t mind. I rather enjoy standing here like a complete
muppet while you stuff your fat face with bread rolls and spit crumbs at me. Just being near you
is all I require in life. Do you reckon Condi will take offence?”
From The London Evening Standard: “Yo ho ho. George Bush’s preferred greeting- “Yo, Blair!
How you doin’?” – is the catchphrase du jour in Westminster, after TORY MPs greeted our PM’s
arrival in the Commons with Ali G-style whoops. Behind the scenes, Labour ministers were at it
too. “Over the black puddings, he shouted ‘Yo, Riddell!’, when the latecomer Peter Riddell
appeared. History does not relate if these two political titans proceeded to perform a high five.”
Only in the UK…only in the UK….
The line up from Afghanistan to Zimbabwe, 189 countries, were all in support of Kofi Annan at
the UN yesterday: “The collective punishment of the Lebanese people must stop…What is
urgently needed is the immediate cessation of hostilities.” Israel, the US and the UK stand alone
and allied in their desire for continuous bombing. The US is rushing a delivery of bombs to Israel;
no public announcement has been made. Only in the US…only in the US.
There I was, sauntering in sweltering sun on a Vienna street having boycotted Portugal and Italy
for my holiday…World Cup duplicity et al…when the headline of The Independent newspaper
shouted out from a news stand: “YO, BLAIR!” For a moment I was thrown with the use of the
8cm exclamation mark…an expression of emotion in Vienna, or the whole of Austria for all I
know…but then things began to get clearer.
Inside the paper were those sequential shots of the Littlebushboy with his mouth full, wide open
(don’t you just hate that?). Could this method be employed by those mouth-stuffing-contestants
in the cuisine-starved US? Could this method of consumption be the clue to the boy’s near-death-
by-pretzel episode? Yet there he was, the illegal president of the United States, the first born
son of that deceitfully devious political dynasty, able to stuff his mouth with food and at the same
time to pose, to sneer, to emanate confidence, condescension, pomposity, superiority; quite the
example of multi-tasking by the simple-minded. But perhaps a bit too scarily reminiscent of that
famous/infamous chin-jutting shot of Mussolini on the balcony wouldn’t you say?
The boy beckoning his poodle. Not even a “Yo, bro!” or a “Yo, Tone…Yo, good bud…Yo,
dude…pal…big guy…amigo…” (a decided queasiness is overtaking me at this moment). Am I
mistaken here or doesn’t summoning Tony by his surname imply a certain lack of familiarity?
Doesn’t all that direct communicating to their mutually shared god they do together when they
are alone count for anything? The very same god who whispers in their little ears to bomb Iraq,
Afghanistan, Syria, Iran? Maybe a “Yo, TP or LD!” now that TB has manoeuvred himself from
poodle to toy poodle or even special lap dog. It really is sad, pathetically sad.
An acquiescing, grovelling Tony: “Great Chief! Old Georgie Boy! Good old boy! Alright, alright.
Send Condi instead of me to negotiate. I don’t mind. I rather enjoy standing here like a complete
muppet while you stuff your fat face with bread rolls and spit crumbs at me. Just being near you
is all I require in life. Do you reckon Condi will take offence?”
From The London Evening Standard: “Yo ho ho. George Bush’s preferred greeting- “Yo, Blair!
How you doin’?” – is the catchphrase du jour in Westminster, after TORY MPs greeted our PM’s
arrival in the Commons with Ali G-style whoops. Behind the scenes, Labour ministers were at it
too. “Over the black puddings, he shouted ‘Yo, Riddell!’, when the latecomer Peter Riddell
appeared. History does not relate if these two political titans proceeded to perform a high five.”
Only in the UK…only in the UK….
The line up from Afghanistan to Zimbabwe, 189 countries, were all in support of Kofi Annan at
the UN yesterday: “The collective punishment of the Lebanese people must stop…What is
urgently needed is the immediate cessation of hostilities.” Israel, the US and the UK stand alone
and allied in their desire for continuous bombing. The US is rushing a delivery of bombs to Israel;
no public announcement has been made. Only in the US…only in the US.
