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| Letters From London |
| Humorous Views on London Culture, Royals, Gossip and Politics |
Woops-a-Daisy - 7 June 2008
Boys just want to have fun. Champagne swigging Royal Bank of Scotland banker, Alexandre
Graham is taking the tube to Heathrow. After spending the last legal chance of drinking on the
underground with thousands of drunken punch-up partying Facebook friends, he’s inexplicably
moving to South America – to ‘consider his future’. No pressuring from the bank then. The “travel
bug has also hit me…planning on hitting South America for six months sabatical [sic] (hopefully
Mr Graham will be taking an English dictionary in his suitcase) after my grad scheme finishes in
2008.” Evidently standing, panting, crushed in 40 degrees Celsius was the inspiration for his
imminent travel adventure south of the equator. Six stations had to be closed, assaults on police,
tube staff and each other clearly created a night to remember. Woops-a-daisy.
Bad day at the office. There are allegations that Tory Party chairman Caroline Spelman paid her
children’s nanny from her House of Commons expenses. As we are all aware, staffing
allowances are not supposed to help MPs fund their private lives, no matter how disdainful they
are of those of us who work. Asked explicitly the nanny told BBC2’s Newsnight programme if she
was ever involved in ‘political stuff’ as well as being Ms Spelman’s nanny, she replied: ‘No, I
wasn't.’ The nanny has inexplicably changed her entire story… from nanny to executive secretary
involved in politics. Not obvious at all is it? Has children’s homework become constituency
homework? Woops-a-daisy.
The ruling class. A spate of sleaze scandals involving Tory Euro MPs has now hit the papers
and it promises to be the tip of the proverbial iceberg. I’m getting giddy here. Up to 13 of the 28
Tory MEPs are refusing to reveal how they splash out on their staff allowances. In 2006 former
minister Sir Robert Atkins flew to his son's Montclair, New Jersey wedding in the US and we paid
for flight, travel and hotel bills, without a single invite or receipt. Naughty Sir Bob also has been
dipping into our bank accounts to increase his family members’. Tory chief whip in Brussels, Den
Dover, was sacked (only after much pressure from Brussels) when it became clear that he had
been paying his wife and daughter up to £750,000 of taxpayers' pocket money. He disappeared
into one of his homes the day after colleague Giles Chichester (son of famed yachtsman Sir
Francis Chichester) quit as the head of the Tory MEPs after illegally paying his own family map
supplier company £445,000, ignoring strict EU rules on expenses. He had been tasked by
Cameron to ensure MEP expenses were beyond reproach. Who doesn’t love irony? With a
pompously casual shrug of his shoulders when questioned Mr Chichester referred to his breach
of the rules as a "whoops-a-daisy" moment. "I don't think I need to go into great detail." Well.
Whoops-a-daisy you do Giles.
Time for the big guns. Hillary goes back to Stepford Wife World where America wants her to
reside thanks to Bill’s racist tirades. Suspiciously strategic, Bill. Did he not want to be the First
Lady after all? Thus leaving an empty suit and a rabid dog to fight out which corporations will
control the White House, the country, the world. Woops-a-daisy.
Quickly. Pass the shredder. The House of Commons has shredded more than 1 million
documents detailing their sly, sneaky, shady, secret expenses that were about to be revealed to
us – or more than likely – reviled by us. It is a criminal offence to deliberately destroy documents
requested under the freedom of information laws. Woops-a-daisy.
Bring it on, or at least with you. Amy Winehouse has refreshed, revived, reinstalled her
friendship with insalubrious supposed drug supplier, Jonny Blagrove, who sold footage of AW
smoking crack to a newspaper. Amy offered to buy him a drink and the double act have been
‘partying’ at her home. Woops-a-daisy.
Boys just want to have fun. Champagne swigging Royal Bank of Scotland banker, Alexandre
Graham is taking the tube to Heathrow. After spending the last legal chance of drinking on the
underground with thousands of drunken punch-up partying Facebook friends, he’s inexplicably
moving to South America – to ‘consider his future’. No pressuring from the bank then. The “travel
bug has also hit me…planning on hitting South America for six months sabatical [sic] (hopefully
Mr Graham will be taking an English dictionary in his suitcase) after my grad scheme finishes in
2008.” Evidently standing, panting, crushed in 40 degrees Celsius was the inspiration for his
imminent travel adventure south of the equator. Six stations had to be closed, assaults on police,
tube staff and each other clearly created a night to remember. Woops-a-daisy.
Bad day at the office. There are allegations that Tory Party chairman Caroline Spelman paid her
children’s nanny from her House of Commons expenses. As we are all aware, staffing
allowances are not supposed to help MPs fund their private lives, no matter how disdainful they
are of those of us who work. Asked explicitly the nanny told BBC2’s Newsnight programme if she
was ever involved in ‘political stuff’ as well as being Ms Spelman’s nanny, she replied: ‘No, I
wasn't.’ The nanny has inexplicably changed her entire story… from nanny to executive secretary
involved in politics. Not obvious at all is it? Has children’s homework become constituency
homework? Woops-a-daisy.
The ruling class. A spate of sleaze scandals involving Tory Euro MPs has now hit the papers
and it promises to be the tip of the proverbial iceberg. I’m getting giddy here. Up to 13 of the 28
Tory MEPs are refusing to reveal how they splash out on their staff allowances. In 2006 former
minister Sir Robert Atkins flew to his son's Montclair, New Jersey wedding in the US and we paid
for flight, travel and hotel bills, without a single invite or receipt. Naughty Sir Bob also has been
dipping into our bank accounts to increase his family members’. Tory chief whip in Brussels, Den
Dover, was sacked (only after much pressure from Brussels) when it became clear that he had
been paying his wife and daughter up to £750,000 of taxpayers' pocket money. He disappeared
into one of his homes the day after colleague Giles Chichester (son of famed yachtsman Sir
Francis Chichester) quit as the head of the Tory MEPs after illegally paying his own family map
supplier company £445,000, ignoring strict EU rules on expenses. He had been tasked by
Cameron to ensure MEP expenses were beyond reproach. Who doesn’t love irony? With a
pompously casual shrug of his shoulders when questioned Mr Chichester referred to his breach
of the rules as a "whoops-a-daisy" moment. "I don't think I need to go into great detail." Well.
Whoops-a-daisy you do Giles.
Time for the big guns. Hillary goes back to Stepford Wife World where America wants her to
reside thanks to Bill’s racist tirades. Suspiciously strategic, Bill. Did he not want to be the First
Lady after all? Thus leaving an empty suit and a rabid dog to fight out which corporations will
control the White House, the country, the world. Woops-a-daisy.
Quickly. Pass the shredder. The House of Commons has shredded more than 1 million
documents detailing their sly, sneaky, shady, secret expenses that were about to be revealed to
us – or more than likely – reviled by us. It is a criminal offence to deliberately destroy documents
requested under the freedom of information laws. Woops-a-daisy.
Bring it on, or at least with you. Amy Winehouse has refreshed, revived, reinstalled her
friendship with insalubrious supposed drug supplier, Jonny Blagrove, who sold footage of AW
smoking crack to a newspaper. Amy offered to buy him a drink and the double act have been
‘partying’ at her home. Woops-a-daisy.
