|LETTERS FROM LONDON
|REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
12 March 2016
|We Are Not Amused
A rant from the Queen? Really? A rant? Not an opinion subtlety delivered then.
“Out! Let me Out!” Really. It was a rant against the EU Referendum? You know,
the EU Referendum ad nauseam.
Well, that reliable, erudite tabloid, The Sun, delivered the break from historic
royal protocol news: the Queen wants out. Or so we have been told. The front
page headline read: "Queen backs Brexit". The editor, Tony Gallagher, said the
paper possessed secret – goodness gracious me – ‘secret’ information – as yet
unpublished. “You are going to have to take my word for it that we are
completely confident that the Queen’s views were expressed exactly as we have
outlined them…we are in no doubt the story is accurate.”
The tabloid reported that ‘a senior source’ (evidently there are multiple
‘impeccable’ sources) revealed all. The Queen was attending a lunch at Windsor
Castle and the source said: “It was really something and it went on for quite a
while. The EU is clearly something Her Majesty feels passionately about.” This
rant was supposedly directed at the then pro-EU former deputy PM Nick Clegg,
who calls the story “nonsense”. However, the lunch took place in April 2011.
Does that require a repeat? 2011. So The Sun has been sitting on the story for
the last five years? The sources sold their story last week? Really? And we
thought Murdoch was busy with his wedding/honeymoon plans rather than
counting his cash.
The questions aren’t what she said, if she said it, but who grassed up the
Queen. Are we thinking treasonable offence here? Off to the tower, Michael
Gove. Tory MP, Sir Nicholas Soames takes the view that the traitor should be
sacked if caught. “As clear as could be they’ll have to go.” Blimey. Fellow privy
councillors Michael Gove and Cheryl Gillan - both support Brexit are suspects.
Gove is presumed guilty and is refusing to deny his guilt – as have the other four
witnesses. Nick has “no recollection”.
Actually, her ‘vigorously delivered’ comments, if true, were questioning the
direction Europe was taking - not Britain’s exit – five years back. On another
occasion, according to the paper, a Parliamentarian asked the Queen what her
thoughts were on Brussels, to which she replied: ‘I don’t understand Europe.’
A parliamentary source said: ‘It was said with quite some venom and emotion. I
shall never forget it.’ And the mystery continues….
Oh oops. Last year their headline was: Queen hints quitting Europe is
‘dangerous’…Monarch gives powerful speech in Berlin. Oops again.
IWD 2016 – remember that? Possibly not. A reminder: it was International
Women’s Day March 8.
Laura Bates in The Guardian reported the best retribution account. ‘Shocked
and angered by a man catcalling [a woman] from the roof he was working on as
she walked down the street, a woman decided to stop and confront him. But
when her arguments against street harassment only led him to shout worse
abuse, she gently removed the ladder and walked away, leaving him stranded
and presumably giving him plenty of time to think about gender politics’.
‘…gently removed the ladder’. Brilliant.
And the Bletchley Code breakers? Remember them? The Suffragettes? What’s
not to celebrate? Oh I know; the omnipresent persistent misogyny.
A Little Imperfection
British actress Kristin Scott Thomas, who has lived in France for over three
decades, has slated English dress style.
In an interview with French magazine Marie France, said, “The French woman
can be seductive, attractive, without ever being too sexy. There’s nothing vulgar,
everything lies in subtlety. The English, it’s terrible… and it’s completely the
opposite!” she said, adding: “For example, they dare to wear mini-skirts when
they don’t have the legs for them. In France, that would clearly be bad taste. And
actually, it’s funny, this concept of ‘bad taste’ doesn’t exist in England. Neither in
beauty or fashion.”
"The English, they concern themselves much more with what is in fashion. They
follow the latest trends and end up all looking the same.” Leaving nothing back,
KST attacked the colour orange. OK. Not really, but she takes the view that it’s a
national obsession. “In summer, everyone is orange! And as soon as there are a
few rays of sunshine, everyone is outside – borderline naked!” Anything else,
Well, if you follow the American brand takeover of Britain, you’ll have already
bought a pale blue chambray top with grommets for £98 at J Crew, which
arrived to save all those British slaves to fashion. In their magazine (sans prices
of course) included with The Evening Standard, oh yes again, they printed in a
bold 3.18cm font:
WHAT WE DO
We believe in forever fashion over fast fashion, think timelessness
is underrated and find that clothes look best when they’re lived in.
We’re fans of tousled hair and thinking everything’s right when
something’s left just a little imperfect. We speak of stripes fluently,
prefer bright ocean to blue and understand that sometimes an
outfit really is about a great pair of shoes.
Clearly pompous editors at J Crew have absolutely no clue in regards to British
fashion, its brilliant history, designers and the obvious eccentric individualistic
style of the street…and Kristin Scott Thomas.
Nauseatingly pretentious? Oh surely not. Wait. I feel a gag reflex coming on.
Arrrrgh. Did I mention their clothes are incredibly boring? Oh well, then, I must.
Boooorrrrringgggggg. Time to tousle my perfect hair while I search for a fluent
stripey item and a great pair of shoes.
The Long and Winding Road
The genius that was George Martin (briefly) speaks for him: ‘across the
universe, with a little help from my friends, all together now…ask me why, in my
life, you won’t see me, because, tomorrow never knows… here there and
everywhere, the word is love…do you want to know a secret…flying… free as a
bird. Good night’…RIP.