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| Letters From London |
| Humorous Views on London Culture, Royals, Gossip and Politics |
It's War and That Will Be £5000 - 1 June 2007
Tony gives ‘wartime’ powers to the police.
Failing to stop, refusing to answer questions will be a criminal offence with fines up to £5000.
Police have the power to stop and search now, but must not ask intrusive questions such as:
“Who are you and where are you going?” “Who do you think you are and is that a knife, pistol,
Uzi in your pocket?”
With Tony’s immanent departure…counting the days…what’s left of our few cherished civil
liberties are being appropriated. What he plans to do with them is unknown. Donate them to
Libya, Nigeria, Zimbabwe? Those of us unfortunates left with the newly-Cheshire-cat-grinning
Gordon (Brown) installed at #10 Downing Street will have none. Oh look. Are those tanks rolling
up Regent’s Street?
Toady Tony believes with all his little religiously inspired heart that those who say “civil liberties
come first” before the security of the population must be condemned. “I believe this is a
dangerous misjudgement.” Not like Iran or his sycophantic relationship to the mentally challenged
Bush Boy then. Well TB, if it sounds, spells, smells like fascism - it is fascism, totalitarianism,
absolutism, despotism, New labour.
Not to be out done, the equally ever-wise and forward-thinking home secretary, John Reid,
wants to include seemingly, possibly irrelevant documents and vehicles to be seized as well as
identities before he takes Tony’s hand and they walk into the sunset of their ‘rich years’ together.
“I’ve managed to set up £500,000 the first year. How about you, John?” “£500,000!
Tooooooony! I’ve only been assured £100,000! It’s not fair!” "It's all in the stategem, John, it's all
in the stratagem."
A unit established last year identifies people who pose a security threat to VIPs. Hmmm.
Celebrities, the uber-rich, foreign investors and surely the cabinet passing this dangerous dross.
These future criminals in plain clothes can be retained without trial. The method here is labelling
them mentally unstable. Those sleeping rough are in for warm accommodations.
Police sources have said that neither Scotland Yard nor the Association of Chief Police Officers
had officially asked the government for an extension of stop and search powers. One senior
officer called the proposal "bizarre". Another added: "It seems bizarre. I'm struggling to find any
use for this, I don't see the purpose of it.”
Jails overflowing with minor misdemeanours, why not wall off the streets? Create a lock-down?
Plant a Stalinist guard at the entrances? Voila. Problem solved.
The leaders of 130,000 police officers have drawn up a dossier of “lunacy” on Britain’s streets.
They say that children are being arrested for throwing cream buns and bits of cucumber while
adults are getting criminal records for offences that merit nothing more than a ticking-off.
The pressure to get results is so bad, they say, that many are so disillusioned that they are
considering quitting. Now that can only mean employing rouge armies, Iraqi insurgents, foreign
mercenaries, pro-dictatorship militia to arrest those treacherous cupcake tossers.
Current crimes in the dossier include:
Civilian criminals accused of throwing: a man cautioned for being in possession of an egg with
intent to throw (how did they know?)…a child who threw a slice of cucumber at another child
arrested after parents claimed it was an assault (with a deadly vegetable)…a child arrested for
throwing buns at a bus (stale or soft?)…an officer told to caution a man for throwing a glass of
water over his girlfriend (perhaps she was hot)…a 13 year old girl who threw a Cadbury Cream
Egg at another girl (when it wasn’t Easter). Best not to be seen in possession of cakes, biscuits,
fruit, vegetables, eggs sans cardboard/plastic wrappings.
Civilian and kiddie criminals accused of doing the unthinkable: a woman arrested on her wedding
day for criminal damage to a car park barrier when her foot slipped on the accelerator (wedding
night then spent with a few ladies of the evening?)…two children arrested under gun laws for
being in possession of a toy pistol (obviously preparing for a crime wave)…a 14 year old
accused of assault after making a bad tackle when playing a game on the playground (his foot
slipped)…a year and a half old admonished for dropping one and a half crisps on the pavement
(she missed her mouth). I’m in serious danger of losing my mind, my temper, my will to live. This
surely is total madness.
Not total; there is more. For those who have put on a few pounds eating those cream cakes
thrown at them need not worry at all. The Prison Service will give you your own personal trainer
to help you to fit in – as it were- thus preventing alienation from the group and selective bullying.
That is costing us an addition £400,000.
Only a few months ago our Prime Minister suggested some kind of screening for children,
suggested age 11, for future crime potential. And lest we forget the dreaded database
containing every person in Britain’s DNA is to follow. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
We know George Orwell would be…but Hitler would be ecstatic.
Tony gives ‘wartime’ powers to the police.
Failing to stop, refusing to answer questions will be a criminal offence with fines up to £5000.
Police have the power to stop and search now, but must not ask intrusive questions such as:
“Who are you and where are you going?” “Who do you think you are and is that a knife, pistol,
Uzi in your pocket?”
With Tony’s immanent departure…counting the days…what’s left of our few cherished civil
liberties are being appropriated. What he plans to do with them is unknown. Donate them to
Libya, Nigeria, Zimbabwe? Those of us unfortunates left with the newly-Cheshire-cat-grinning
Gordon (Brown) installed at #10 Downing Street will have none. Oh look. Are those tanks rolling
up Regent’s Street?
Toady Tony believes with all his little religiously inspired heart that those who say “civil liberties
come first” before the security of the population must be condemned. “I believe this is a
dangerous misjudgement.” Not like Iran or his sycophantic relationship to the mentally challenged
Bush Boy then. Well TB, if it sounds, spells, smells like fascism - it is fascism, totalitarianism,
absolutism, despotism, New labour.
Not to be out done, the equally ever-wise and forward-thinking home secretary, John Reid,
wants to include seemingly, possibly irrelevant documents and vehicles to be seized as well as
identities before he takes Tony’s hand and they walk into the sunset of their ‘rich years’ together.
“I’ve managed to set up £500,000 the first year. How about you, John?” “£500,000!
Tooooooony! I’ve only been assured £100,000! It’s not fair!” "It's all in the stategem, John, it's all
in the stratagem."
A unit established last year identifies people who pose a security threat to VIPs. Hmmm.
Celebrities, the uber-rich, foreign investors and surely the cabinet passing this dangerous dross.
These future criminals in plain clothes can be retained without trial. The method here is labelling
them mentally unstable. Those sleeping rough are in for warm accommodations.
Police sources have said that neither Scotland Yard nor the Association of Chief Police Officers
had officially asked the government for an extension of stop and search powers. One senior
officer called the proposal "bizarre". Another added: "It seems bizarre. I'm struggling to find any
use for this, I don't see the purpose of it.”
Jails overflowing with minor misdemeanours, why not wall off the streets? Create a lock-down?
Plant a Stalinist guard at the entrances? Voila. Problem solved.
The leaders of 130,000 police officers have drawn up a dossier of “lunacy” on Britain’s streets.
They say that children are being arrested for throwing cream buns and bits of cucumber while
adults are getting criminal records for offences that merit nothing more than a ticking-off.
The pressure to get results is so bad, they say, that many are so disillusioned that they are
considering quitting. Now that can only mean employing rouge armies, Iraqi insurgents, foreign
mercenaries, pro-dictatorship militia to arrest those treacherous cupcake tossers.
Current crimes in the dossier include:
Civilian criminals accused of throwing: a man cautioned for being in possession of an egg with
intent to throw (how did they know?)…a child who threw a slice of cucumber at another child
arrested after parents claimed it was an assault (with a deadly vegetable)…a child arrested for
throwing buns at a bus (stale or soft?)…an officer told to caution a man for throwing a glass of
water over his girlfriend (perhaps she was hot)…a 13 year old girl who threw a Cadbury Cream
Egg at another girl (when it wasn’t Easter). Best not to be seen in possession of cakes, biscuits,
fruit, vegetables, eggs sans cardboard/plastic wrappings.
Civilian and kiddie criminals accused of doing the unthinkable: a woman arrested on her wedding
day for criminal damage to a car park barrier when her foot slipped on the accelerator (wedding
night then spent with a few ladies of the evening?)…two children arrested under gun laws for
being in possession of a toy pistol (obviously preparing for a crime wave)…a 14 year old
accused of assault after making a bad tackle when playing a game on the playground (his foot
slipped)…a year and a half old admonished for dropping one and a half crisps on the pavement
(she missed her mouth). I’m in serious danger of losing my mind, my temper, my will to live. This
surely is total madness.
Not total; there is more. For those who have put on a few pounds eating those cream cakes
thrown at them need not worry at all. The Prison Service will give you your own personal trainer
to help you to fit in – as it were- thus preventing alienation from the group and selective bullying.
That is costing us an addition £400,000.
Only a few months ago our Prime Minister suggested some kind of screening for children,
suggested age 11, for future crime potential. And lest we forget the dreaded database
containing every person in Britain’s DNA is to follow. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
We know George Orwell would be…but Hitler would be ecstatic.
