|LETTERS FROM LONDON
|REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
21 September 2019
All right. A moment of reality. Ignoring Nige – yes, you’re welcome – and his
pressure at the time, Europe was a minor – note here – minor electoral issue by
a small number of jingoistic idiots. The issue didn’t move to the forefront until the
referendum CallMeDave created. Instead of confronting them, he appeased
them. We all know real reason Dave held the election - to sabotage Ukip's
prospects ahead of upcoming local elections. Curiously apt, as Dave said in
regards to ‘drug taking’ – smoking hash as a teenager that is: he suffered from
“a weakness for going with the crowd, even when the crowd was heading in the
wrong direction.” How prophetic.
Prophetic? Not so much. CMD says about Boris that “Minutes before he went
out to explain why he was going to be on the side of Brexit, he sent me a text
saying, ‘Brexit will be crushed like a toad under the harrow’,” Squished? Not
CMD has been and continues to be – everywhere! Literally. Assuaging any guilt
or conscience he is willing to talk to anyone. Just try to count how many times
you have to hit the mute button. Changing the channel won’t help will it. He is –
everywhere! He even includes (his wife) Sam. Pets to follow? Oh. And no need
to actually buy the book is there? Well, who was going to anyway?
With clearly no relief in sight, let’s not forget, CMD rejects any suggestion that
he had been misguided in imposing austerity during his tenure. Curiously he
hasn’t noticed the dire consequences. “It might have been better if we did a little
bit more a bit earlier.” Huh? Who doesn’t want more homeless on the streets,
more food banks? Huh Dave?
Dave has said the backlash to his austerity programme was “hysterical”, what!?
and the Tory government should have cut public services deeper. In his book he
said he has no regrets slashing public spending during his premiership and that
he should have “ripped the plaster off” earlier. Ouch! Oh Dave, oh Dave. Since
he took power in 2010, more than four million people have used a foodbank and
the number of people sleeping rough has doubled. “You’d think we had
reinstated the workhouse.” But he did manage to create abject human suffering,
eh Dave? Your favourite cuts resulted in a loss of 15 per cent growth which
translated into a loss of £10,000 per household. Didn’t notice in your household,
The entitled, superior, privileged – rich Dave. Sorry Dave. You’re historically the
heir-to-Blair; the deed is done. You’ve f***ed us forever. The country, what will
be left of it, will be divided by horrible, hateful anti-multiculturalism, anti-anyone
not English born white, a minor player on the world stage, a pathetic economy, a
permanent 51st state, ad inf - forever. Thanks Dave. History will take note.
Plans to return to your bespoke shed to write the second volume, Dave? Oh
please. Quickly. We just can’t take another minute of you and your blatant lack
of self-awareness – or is it simply lying?
The Beginning of the End
Vote of no confidence looming for the Labour Conference next week. Hmm.
Labour’s ‘moderate’ student wing has been effectively abolished by the party’s
ruling National Executive Committee (NEC). Labour Students, which has been a
bastion of centrists for decades and started the careers of: Tom Watson, Peter
Mandelson, Charles Clarke, Mike Gapes, Sally Morgan, John Mann, Ellie
Reeves, John Woodcock and others will be replaced by a new organisation
following the disaffiliation move. Not enough Lenin caps to go round? Ask
Momentum’s leader Jon Lansman.
Moderate Labour MPs were not best pleased. They refuse to don those JC
caps. MP Jess Phillips tweeted angrily in response: “100s of Labour students
undertook 1000s of hours campaigning in Yardley. In 2015 when we won the
seat from the Lib Dems I mentioned them in my speech, I could not have done it
without them. They are the workhorses of our movement.” As veteran journalist
Michael Crick said: “This must be the only case in Labour or Conservative
history where a party youth organization has been closed down for not being
extreme enough!” Tom Watson ‘saved’ for the moment…
Must we mention where Labour is in the polls – again!!! A poll by Ipsos MORI on
the eve of Labour conference found Jezza is the most unpopular opposition
party leader for the past 45 years, which found that just 16 per cent of voters
were happy with the Jezza’s performance, and 76 per cent are unhappy – that
gives a net approval rating of - 60. Ouch! Assume Jezza’s ‘popularity’ to dip
even lower during the conference. More ouch!
You Couldn’t Make It Up
Now from the company which tortures animals to sell more products, while
claiming “L'Oréal no longer tests any of its products or any of its ingredients on
animals, anywhere in the world.” Oh. Except for funding animal testing of their
finished products in China. China not in the world then? Hmm. Really. The CEO
of L'Oréal, Jean-Paul Agon, oh and also chairman of parent company
Maybelline, Garnier and Lancôme, said people would need to buy more make-
up to counter the effects of pollution. Je ne plaisante pas ici.
More not joking. He also said they would need to increase their buys to look like
filtered selfies they post endlessly on Instagram. Zot alors! And what did he say
regarding pollution being good for business? “Yes, but we are not encouraging
it.” Oh, vraiment!
“The more you make yourself look great online, the more you have to work on
yourself when you go you, because if, when people meet you, they discover that
you are completely different from what they thought, then you have a problem.”
“If they want to use filters to look better online, they have to do something in real
life also to look better, and that is why they use more cosmetics, more makeup,
more skin care, more everything.” Kerching.
Make a Mental Note
We were warned even though their meetings were in secret. Soooo crucial
when you view yourself as soooo worthy of adulation. It’s the Harry&Oprah
Show. Finally. Can’t wait. OK. Totally lying. Just the thought of those two
together on the same set. Aughhh! Do you suppose they will sit next to each
other on the sofa? Save me now.
No surprise that the announcement came with a quote from Harry: “I truly
believe that good mental health — mental fitness — is the key to powerful
leadership, productive communities and a purpose-driven self.” Oh you just
know he didn’t write that.
During an interview in the US the ever-earnest-entitled-Oprah said to
humanitarian-Harry when she had her ‘secret’ meetings on London: “I said, ‘I’m
going to be doing this thing with Apple, it’s a big concern of mine too, and I want
to try to erase the stigma.’ He said, ‘if there’s anything I can do,’ and I said, ‘as
a matter of fact…'” Ah bless. Surely they have both suffered from the stigma of
the humiliation of mental illness. Right.
The official details were revealed in the caption, which noted: “The pair have
been developing the series for several months and are looking forward to
sharing such an important project on this global platform.” Goodness me. Going
global. All those suffering the stigma in silence in war zones….