LETTERS FROM LONDON
REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
19 March 2014
Two Sides of the Coin

You try and try and try and then – whoops – you undo it all – hopefully.

Wills and Ex-Waity have returned from their much needed £15,000 holiday...
her second bikini-bottom-flip-flop-fun break...to baby George (remember him?)
who was left with brand new Spanish nanny – as you do...not.

We were told we didn’t pay for their holiday, but surely will when they visit New
Zealand and Australia plus entourage next month. Don’t doubt for a minute they
won’t be living their lavish lifestyle on us. We won’t.

You might wonder what would this Royally-entitled/nouveau riche-entitled couple
want from us now. This modern-model-brand-Windsor is squeezing yet another
£1 million so that they can continue to live in unrestrained luxury.

Their expenditure in the year up to March 2013 was £33.3m; up almost £1m on
the previous year. £600,000 was spent on renovating their Kensington
apartment.

Apparently caluculating-commoner-Kate is acting the diva. Kate asked for the
apartment to be redecorated last month because she was unhappy with the
colour scheme. Oh dear, poor dear, poor diva dear.

Meanwhile, William received a discount on fees for his Cambridge agricultural
course that he never seems to attend.

What’s not to like about this cool couple I ask....

                                 
  ***

The study by the Equality Trust found that the UK’s 100 wealthiest people have
as much money as the poorest 18 million – 30% of all households. The UK’s
five richest families have more wealth than the whole of the bottom 20% of the
population, with this discrepancy  continuing to grow.

Oxfam finds the inequality “deeply worrying” and a “sign of economic failure”.

Forbes magazine’s study of the latest list of billionaires warns that the UK’s
wealthiest  0.1% have seen their income increase nearly four times faster than
the least well-off 90% of the population.

With the Tory toffs creating policies to favour the rich and wily ways to
increase their wealth, a Labour spokesman said: “While people on low and
middle incomes are worse off, David Cameron has given the top one per cent
of earners a £3bn tax cut this year. He’s totally out of touch with ordinary
people and always stands up for the privileged few.”  Not stating the obvious.

                                    
 ***

But all is not lost. Well, actually it is.

According to a scientific study funded by Nasa, modern civilisation is heading
for collapse within a matter of decades because of growing economic instability
and pressure on the planet’s resources.

Mathematicians have predicted, via theoretical models, that even with
conservative estimates things have started to go very badly, very quickly. So,
eat, drink, dance at your local food bank because we are doomed. It’s Rome
repeated.

Scientists say: “Collapse can be avoided and population can reach equilibrium
if the per capita rate of depletion of nature is reduced to a sustainable level,
and if resources are distributed in a reasonably equitable fashion.” They warn
that the ‘business as usual’ approach of economic elite will lead society to
disaster.

Champion of ‘business as usual’ Chancellor Georgie-Boy has presented his
2014 Budget. His latest distraction is to offer a new pound coin. Bread and
circuses. G-B tells us the coin is being created to avoid fakes...LOL. Oh
Georgie. Queues should start forming now; the coin will be available in 2017.

The new 12-sided coin is based on the design of the old three-penny piece in
circulation between 1937 and 1971. Ah. Nostalgia for the old days – and the
old. Not intentional surely.

This most recent ploy is likely to cost the economy up to £20m in vending
machine and trolley modifications. Good forward ‘thinking’.

Georgie-Boy offered ‘help’ to middle class savers and pensioners or simply:
buying possible Tory voters. 72% of pensioners say they will vote. Tories worry
it will be for UKIP. Bingo tax will be halved to 10% with promise of bigger prizes
for players...jump for joy...if you can. 1p cut in duty on each pint of beer.

I’m off to the pub to get legless and then find a bingo hall. I’ll have to drink 100
pints to save that new £1 coin. Bingo! Don’t we all feel so much better now.
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