Letters From London
Humorous Views on London Culture, Royals, Gossip and Politics
If the Truth Be Told - 11 April 2008

One major problem with conspiracy theories; they have an uncanny way of rearing their little
heads decades later and announcing: “Told you so. Told you so.”

The murders of Martin Luther King, the Kennedys, the 9/11 facts that struggle to correspond to
reality, Elvis – oh no, definitely not Elvis… will the same be true of the Diana inquest? Have we
put our money – in this instance £12m – where our collective mouths are?

As with all theatrical tragedies - people lie. Or possibly people always lie. Limelight-seeking
witnesses, self-serving personal vendettas, denials abound, money becomes a mesmerizing
focus, the French do it their way. No one to trust: all information is subjective and all intention is
suspect.

After 10 years of unceasing pressure against an intractable force of peculiar, curious, bizarre
resistance from the British establishment, Mr Al-Fayed achieved a public inquest that failed to
give him the satisfaction he fought and paid for.

Perhaps Mr Al-Fayed’s first error in judgment was to accuse the ‘Nazi’ Prince Philip of being the
initial source for the dreadful deaths. We are all aware of the Prince’s so often scandalous ‘bon
mots’; the man does not edit well or at all. “Oi. Peasants. I know a secret. La la la la la la. Why
don’t you ask me? Go on. Ask me. Or MI6.” But then again… MI6 ‘doesn’t have licence to kill’…
does it?

The second error or judgment was probably the pregnancy. Seems terribly predictable, doesn’t
it? What would cause ‘the firm’ to go round the bend (oops) more than the mother of the future
king up the duff by the playboy son of a court-hated figure? But then again…Diana did have that
‘amazing’ news to share before she died.

The third was the engagement ring. Was it or wasn’t it? When is a £11,500 ring a friendship
ring? When is a £11,500 ring an engagement ring? When is a £11,500 ring just a £11,500 ring?
Is it a matter of counting the karats? But then again… Diana did have that ‘amazing’ news to
share before she died. Her friend, the imperious Rosa Monkton, disdainfully dismisses it, as she
should, but sans the pomposity please.

Mr Al-Fayed must feel some sense of guilt at the death of his son, which could explain his
projecting the blame on the head of Prince Philip…if you want to believe Freud, or a better
choice, Shakespeare.

The case will never be closed as such because there were interviews not conducted, questions
not answered. Mr Al-Fayed stands alone…with the exception of his extremely well-paid
lawyers… everybody else has drawn the line…. seemingly.

We have learned one lesson. Wear a seat belt when taunting the paparazzi. Oh… is that a white
Fiat speeding by? Did anybody get the licence number?

But one question: why did St James Palace request that Diana’s body to be embalmed before it
reached the-right-across-the-channel UK? Any conspiracy theorists still out there?