16 June 2011
1. Pass Me a Tiara
Oh make it stop. The Duchess of Cambridge, the Duchess of Cambridge,
Pippa, Pippa, Pippa, the Duchess of Cambridge, the Duchess of Cambridge,
Pippa, Pippa, Pippa. Pleeeeease. Front page, full page coverage. Argh. Ex-
Waity announces “I’m so in love!” on the cover of a tabloid. Well, yes. With her
hair, her anorexia, her haute couture attire, herself. Good god. The woman
looks like she is about to literally explode from self-love...or have an embolism.

More about Pippa and Kate Middleton

2. Prince Charming
In celebration of Prince Philip’s ninetieth birthday, he relented to two TV
interviews. One with the gardener and talk show host,  Alan Titchmarsh and
Fiona Bruce, BBC presenter of news and The Antique’s Road Show. Curious
choices. Throughout PP managed to keep his eyes narrowed and his teeth
clenched and only slightly bared.
“You’re ninety now.”      
PP: “Oh you can count.”
“How do you feel?”   
PP: “I don’t.”
More about Prince Philip

3. 'King Of' Princess
We have suffered through the BBC’s Film 2011 (or more commonly known as
And More About Me) and now we can continue on Friday nights with channel
4s King Of. They have set up the unwatchable Claudia Winkleman to make us
all laugh and laugh and laugh until we gasp for breath and are forced to throw
water in our collective faces.

Her new show, King Of: the King of Everything (what?) is merely a vehicle for
her ‘I’m so cool, brilliant and sexy- don’t you simply adore me and want to be
me’ persona via the same old fringe to the end of her nose, the palest pinkie
lipstick sold at Harvey Nics, smudged black rings of eye makeup. Oh I get it.
She’s trying to look like she’s just got out of bed after having sex with herself for
4 days. Not always a successful look – really.

Mannered enough for Louis XIV to be concerned for his position, obnoxious,
affected, irritating surely this show will be cancelled before it’s over. Exciting
guests, the inane Chris Evans and the occasionally amusing Sarah Mullican,
were there to admire Claudia’s clever antics...and something about discussing
or was it voting on their favourite things. Who knows. And the purpose was?

20 excruciating minutes until I located the remote. What a relief.
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