LETTERS FROM LONDON
1. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE:
The government wants to collect, collate and share 32 pages of our personal details
and habits with the US. They know where we live and now they want to know how
and why. It’s the 2011 £500 million census; £200 million more than the 2001 census.

One of the US firms processing the data have been involved in litigation regarding
staff having stolen Obama’s school loan records   and are notoriously inept. Another
is an arms manufacturer. Perfect. The data is available if it can be interpreted as a
‘terrorist’ threat. What are the chances? But more worrying; why the US? Why do
they need to process this information? Deportation?

We must fill in who slept over in our flat, house, sitting room, bed. Who, when, where
and why. Why? Why do they want to know? A stranger came to the door during a
rainstorm...my biological father found me...I think I picked them up at the pub.... With
the government’s inevitable incompetence, having missed 1 million people at the
2001 census, perhaps they are keen to track them down.

The census requires a new state database with every address in the country and a
Big Brother ‘tracking’ operation to ensure that every home fills in a form. “You’ve
been a naughty boy and now you will spend time, a long time, in solitary confinement
in a top-security US prison in Utah, naked.”

They watch our every move via CCTV. “Look. She’s dyed her hair red and cut a
fringe.” “Oh. So she has. She looks much better.” “I don’t like the shoes though.”

We must tell them our type of heating, our sexual preference, our car, our religion,
our landlord/lady, how we get to work, what we did last week...and there will be a test.

All the data sought – and more – are available on private-sector databases. Energy
and phone companies, National Insurance, banks, the workplace, medical and
school records, credit cards, store cards know everything about us except perhaps
when we pet the cat.

Tesco alone has more than 15million recorded personal details of its shoppers.
They know how many KitKats you’ve been polishing off on Tuesdays.

At the last census, when asked their religion, 400,000 people replied that they were
Jedi Knights from Star Wars. As a result of this moment of anarchy, it’s the fourth
largest reported religion in the UK. That could put a smile on your face.
But not ticking those 918 boxes surely wont; Big Brother will fine you £1000 and/or
send you straight to prison.

Does no one else think this is scary? The 2011 version of the Doomsday Book. I
think not. More fascism. I think so.


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