LETTERS FROM LONDON
REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
13 October 2018
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"The Blood Line"

Well, this is what happens when you are ideologically blind…hint: Northern
Ireland. Curiously – oh it is so much worse – the government ‘forgot’ they are
beholden to the DUP – ah that £1bn bribe – remember that? Well, clearly they
didn’t. They will when Theresa hands over more cash to the DUP as is reported.

“I’m out!” Oops. That’s the Dragons’ Den isn’t it? Rather apt though. We know
the ever formidable Arlene Foster is seeing red and not joking when she said:
“Our red line is blood red.” Gosh! Scary. A Brexit border? Over her dead body.
Before that bloody act, the DUP is threatening to pull down the government if it
doesn’t get its way. Bloody mess this is.

If you were wondering – which you surely weren’t - however, men have
dominated the debate on Brexit in Parliament, by almost 90%. If you haven’t
gone into deep despairing, here’s your opportunity.

Evidently most of the Tory party haven’t given Northern Ireland a thought, or
care about peace on the Irish border. In June YouGov found 83% of Leavers
thought “the unravelling of the peace process in Northern Ireland would be worth
it to take back control”. A small sigh here.

And Scotland? Oh right. Scotland. Those 62% who voted remain. It is just
extraordinary that it never occurred to the Tories that there was more than little
England. Go ahead. Shake your head in disbelief. Britain’s former EU
Ambassador, Ivan Rogers, warns the looming no-deal scenario is more likely
due to
“persistent British misreading of others’ incentives and views.” “But, we’re
English don’t you know.” The way this farce is going, it will simply be: Little
England struggling with more than £2bn in red tape. And Nicola? “I’m out as
well!”

And the ‘blood-red’ line’? The DUP + SNP = Brexit? Ha, ha, ha. Not a chance.
Lest we forget, the SNP in government for 11 years – Nicola Sturgeon still more
popular than Theresa and Jeremy combined. All right. Not quite. But both are
Marmite substitutes, aren’t they? Looking for support for a new referendum?
Look to Nicola. Thank you, Nicola. The SNP has been consistent in their held
positions – so nothing should be a surprise, should it? Response: “Ha” is
appropriate here with a sarcastic emphasis.

Slaughter Alert:

Plans for the mass slaughter of sheep mid-transit, i.e., stuck at Dover, are being
‘discussed’ by Whitehall officials should ports be closed in the event of a no-deal
Brexit. Phew! They are ‘discussing’ the possibility. As if the ports aren’t going to
be closed.

Figures from 2016 show that more than 4,000 sheep are transported to Europe
for slaughter each year, making up the majority of livestock taken abroad and
remembering Northern Ireland, as we do, 90% of their sheep are off to slaughter
after they leave Dover. DUP MP David Simpson said that if the UK opted for
WTO terms “and tariffs of 14% or 15% are introduced, that
would decimate the
Northern Ireland lamb industry overnight
, given that we export 90% of our lamb”.

Oops. They are getting very cross, and that isn’t just the sheep. Plans? What
plans? Oh, oops. They have done it again. Quelle surprise. Blood on their
hands…
.
For Love and Money

Oh look! There’s Tracey Emin! Oh look! There’s Ellie Goulding. Is she holding up
one of the hair products she pushes? Oh look! There’s – um – who is that? Oh
yes. It’s Demi Moore. Huh? Oh yes, it’s the wedding. If you had missed the
Harry&Meghan event, Eugenia thought she would repeat it for you. Only this one
is ‘plastic-free’ wedding. No plastic cutlery then.

The BBC rejected Princess Eugenie’s wedding – Eugenie, not popular with the
Tories then? Oh come now, you know the BBC has aligned itself with the Tories.
ITV said: “Yes. We want a duplication of Harry and Meghan’s wedding. Thank
you.” We know Eugenie has
re-created herself as a real royal Meghan. So, why
not the wedding then? We know the answer, but we aren’t going to tell her as it
would ruin her Meghan-matching wedding. This could have: the royal family
Twitter account, which has 3.81 million followers, wasn’t terribly
impressed…they got Brooksbank's name wrong and called him "Mr.
Jacksbrook". It took about 40 minutes before the tweet was deleted and
reissued. Really.

Oh dear me. Harry and his plus one had to leave ‘early’ due to a prior
engagement in their royal diary. Eugenie’s wedding wasn’t pencilled in then?
Ah. Possibly the operative word here might be ‘pencilled’. Hmm.  Now let’s see.
They will visit Australia, New Zealand, Fiji and Tonga during their 16-day trip
which starts in Sydney on Tuesday, October 16, Monday night UK time.

They couldn’t have scheduled their departure date a day later? The Tongans
would be insulted? H&M didn’t know the date of the wedding? They didn’t want
their so fabulous wedding (yes, joking) public memories to be undermined by
Harry’s cousin whom he is said to be ‘close to’; not close enough evidently.

Goodness me. No Ed, no Elton. Oh you do know: Sheeran and John. No
Camilla. Wait. Where was Camilla?...our future queen – oh we do hope not!
Last week it was revealed Camilla wouldn’t attend as she's going to a school's
harvest festival. Not joking here – really not. And you thought she simply wanted
to stay in her own home with her usual drink and a fag. As you do. But – rumour
has it she and Edward don’t get along. OK. don’t like each other…?

And there was another family member who couldn’t make it. The Queen’s
cousin, the Duke of Kent missed the evening celebrations choosing a Military
Rehabilitation, Headley Court Gala Dinner in London. As you do when you
chose between a once in a lifetime royal wedding. Yes, yes, guilty of over-
dramatizing….

Naturally most of the coverage covers (I know) what the guests were wearing.
Well, clearly the women. But let’s just leave it at the competition to determine
who wore the highest spindle stilettos and who remained standing on them in the
gale-force winds. Instead, there are those who had no fashion stylist to dress
them to attract the most attention. Not too obvious. Ha.

They’re baaaack. Homeless not invited. Homeless people in Windsor said
authorities 'wanted the streets clear' - but Windsor council said: it's only 'advice'
due to 'their vulnerability' and 'anticipated higher footfall'. “Their vulnerability”?
Oh right. Those marauding royalist thugs who prey on the unfortunate non-
royals? Or the police? Homelessness has increased 169% under the Tories, 449
have died.

Not Hiring

Hmm. Interesting that AI hires only men at Amazon. All right. So, not quite so
‘interesting’. Amazon made ‘this discovery’, that since 2014 – really? - the
review of applicants’ CVs were not including women. The job of the AI
technology was to
search for ‘top talent’ via a star system: one to five, hiring five
of the best. Rather like the Amazon rating system.

Evidently automation has resulted in Amazon’s e-commerce dominance. They
noticed – oh oops, where were the women for technical posts then? Oh right.
Staying home to do all the domestic duties.

So what happened and how did it happen? AI taught itself that
male candidates
were preferable
. Oh seriously now. You could get a bit – depressed, down-
hearted, despairing here. Even AI chooses men over women, as it happens –
across the world. It prejudices itself against equality. The most interesting bit
here? The flaws couldn’t be fixed. Now that is interesting!

Since 2015 the number of workers has tripled to 575,700. That’s quite a lot of
the possibly unqualified. 575,700 unqualified men?! Never!
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