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| Letters From London |
| Humorous Views on London Culture, Royals, Gossip and Politics |
Money Talks - 13 June 2009
Photos of a nearly unrecognisable Madonna-earth-mother, Madonna-the-virginal with the latest
accomplishment her $110m a year fortune can buy: the little four-year-old girl, Mercy from
Malawi. Perhaps the ex-Madge wants to move about incognito, thus explaining her addiction to
plastic surgery. Right. “Madonna, I mean Mummy. Is that you?”
£12m for the Material Girl to get her way. Can you imagine when little Mercy gets older and is
taunted by bullies at school. “That’s not your real mother. That’s Madonna.” “Madonna bought
you like a handbag.”
Tricky which side to come down on. Leave the child with all that is familiar to her with the
possible love and support of her extended family encouraged by a stipend from the Madonna
brand. Or whisk her out by a private jet packed with Barbie and Ken, Disney favourites and the
requisite nannies to the middle of Manhattan where she will be photographed by the paparazzi
until she is half blind by flash bulbs.
A much easier side to choose concerns the loved/loathed preening peacock footballer, Cristiano
Rinaldo who has just been purchased for the eye-watering unprecedented £80m by Real Madrid.
Yes, he looks like a male escort, had sex with Paris Hilton to celebrate his victorious contract,
has a terrible fashion sense, a tan the colour of a cow in a Devon field, is willing to dive and feign
injury like any and every valued Italian/Spanish/Brazilian player, lied about the transfer for six
months, is petulant and arrogant. So?
The world’s best player was such a pleasure to watch. Personally, I am bereft. It’s goodbye
Manchester, hello Madrid, hello £183,000 a week the first year increasing to a ‘are you sitting
down’ £556,000 a week the sixth year taxed at a mere 23%. The contract will result in £106m.
The odious American owners of Manchester United have put no money into the club, but did
immediately increase ticket prices. They will be jumping up and down squealing about now.
“Gimme five!” “Hell no. Gimme eight…eighty mil.
The buying and selling of people normally seen in slavery has an entirely different meaning in the
world of the rich and famous.
Could be the perfect time for Chelsea owner and buyer of talent, Roman Abramovich, to step up
to the challenge? After all, he is about to step onto his latest £300m yacht the size of two
football fields.
On a lighter note. Labour MPs passed on the rebellion to dump Gordy in the Thames simply for
the money. They panicked when facing a loss of £100,000. Scraping and bowing, kissing
Gordon's ring, naming their first born after him until the general election next June, where clearly
they will be history, toast, beaten to a pulp by their constituents. In their case, when money talks
the public have refused to listen. “Lalalalala…we can’t hear youuuuu. It’s a world crisis, you can’t
do maths, you followed the law, you have obsessive-compulsive disorder.” ‘Money, money,
money - must be funny, in the rich man's world.’”
Photos of a nearly unrecognisable Madonna-earth-mother, Madonna-the-virginal with the latest
accomplishment her $110m a year fortune can buy: the little four-year-old girl, Mercy from
Malawi. Perhaps the ex-Madge wants to move about incognito, thus explaining her addiction to
plastic surgery. Right. “Madonna, I mean Mummy. Is that you?”
£12m for the Material Girl to get her way. Can you imagine when little Mercy gets older and is
taunted by bullies at school. “That’s not your real mother. That’s Madonna.” “Madonna bought
you like a handbag.”
Tricky which side to come down on. Leave the child with all that is familiar to her with the
possible love and support of her extended family encouraged by a stipend from the Madonna
brand. Or whisk her out by a private jet packed with Barbie and Ken, Disney favourites and the
requisite nannies to the middle of Manhattan where she will be photographed by the paparazzi
until she is half blind by flash bulbs.
A much easier side to choose concerns the loved/loathed preening peacock footballer, Cristiano
Rinaldo who has just been purchased for the eye-watering unprecedented £80m by Real Madrid.
Yes, he looks like a male escort, had sex with Paris Hilton to celebrate his victorious contract,
has a terrible fashion sense, a tan the colour of a cow in a Devon field, is willing to dive and feign
injury like any and every valued Italian/Spanish/Brazilian player, lied about the transfer for six
months, is petulant and arrogant. So?
The world’s best player was such a pleasure to watch. Personally, I am bereft. It’s goodbye
Manchester, hello Madrid, hello £183,000 a week the first year increasing to a ‘are you sitting
down’ £556,000 a week the sixth year taxed at a mere 23%. The contract will result in £106m.
The odious American owners of Manchester United have put no money into the club, but did
immediately increase ticket prices. They will be jumping up and down squealing about now.
“Gimme five!” “Hell no. Gimme eight…eighty mil.
The buying and selling of people normally seen in slavery has an entirely different meaning in the
world of the rich and famous.
Could be the perfect time for Chelsea owner and buyer of talent, Roman Abramovich, to step up
to the challenge? After all, he is about to step onto his latest £300m yacht the size of two
football fields.
On a lighter note. Labour MPs passed on the rebellion to dump Gordy in the Thames simply for
the money. They panicked when facing a loss of £100,000. Scraping and bowing, kissing
Gordon's ring, naming their first born after him until the general election next June, where clearly
they will be history, toast, beaten to a pulp by their constituents. In their case, when money talks
the public have refused to listen. “Lalalalala…we can’t hear youuuuu. It’s a world crisis, you can’t
do maths, you followed the law, you have obsessive-compulsive disorder.” ‘Money, money,
money - must be funny, in the rich man's world.’”
