|LETTERS FROM LONDON
|REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
1 February 2015
|The Swearing Sears
No more "fuck, fuck you fucking Serb, fucker, fuck, fuck, fuck fucking" from
Kim at the Australian Open then? Language-limited, ex-personal attendant, now
fiancée of "anyonebutengland Andy let her previously perfect image slip...but
her perfect blow-dried hair remained perfect. Hair obsession is just sooo boring.
See Kim Sears' Hair@KimSearsHair.
Lest we forget, Kim had left the emotionally-arrested Andy when her role of
servant-in-waiting got just too much. No more sorting Andy's socks or tennis
balls, holding his drinks while encouraging him as he endlessly plays computer
games. Naturally she came back.
What Kim said according to lip readers: "Fucking having that you Czech fucking
fuck!" or " "Fucking have that you flashy Czech, you flashy fuck." Classy.
Tweeters have substituted African for Czech and Serena for Berdych and called
her tirade racist. When questioned, Andy said "in the heat of the moment you
can say stuff you regret." Like 'you fuck, fucking Scot fuck?"
Now do we have the pleasure of watching the two of them 'potty mouthing off'?
Andy hasn't taught Kim how to make those off-putting - OK hideous, foul (sorry,
but) teeth-bearing facial expressions - yet.... Aaaaargh.
At the final, Kim did a silent 'fuck you'. She wore one of those T-shirts with a
logo saying: 'parental advisory: explicit content' for the warm up.
Did I already say classy?
In the end, the best man won, or as Kim would shout: "That fucking Serb! Fuck"
They're Here Again
The tiny Gulf state of Qatar, a British protectorate until 1971, just wants to stay
close. Welcome to Londoha. Doha being the capital of Qatar, but you already
know that, right?
The Qatar spread reaches from the Docklands in the east to Chelsea in the
west. Playing monopoly with their petro-dollars, the Qataris are on another
buying spree. No surprise there.
Qatar has the worst record regarding anti-terrorism and those in the upper
echelon (everyone else is either a slave labourer or a serf) have connections to
extremist groups. You know. Hamas, Is, Al Qaeda, remember the Muslim
Brotherhood in Egypt. Oops. No surprise there. And then there's their human
rights record. Oops again.
As of last week Qatar Airlines is now the single biggest shareholder of British
Airways owner IAG, worth £1.1bn at the minute. Qatar already owns a 20 per
cent stake in Heathrow and Qatar Airways’ boss sits on the airport’s board. I'm
not flying BA after I use up the last of my rip-off air miles. The airline has cut
their avios points by 75 per cent for those commoners not flying business or first
class. Ah. Life is clearly favours the uber-rich, no? Yes.
Qatar's billion-pound stakes and outright ownership of famous London trophies
include: the Shard, tick, the 'Walkie Talkie', tick, the Olympic Village, tick, the
Shell Centre, tick, The Chelsea Barracks, tick, the US embassy and the
Grosvenor Waterside residential buildings, tick, the Dorchester, tick, Camden
Market, tick, HSBC's headquarters, tick, the Dorchester, tick, the former
Commonwealth Institute building in Kensington, tick, 45 Park Lane, tick,
Whiteleys (which was going to be Hitler's headquarters and will now be made
into posh flats sadly), tick, London InterContinental Park Lane, tick, Sainsbury's,
tick, Barclays, tick, the London Stock Exchange, tick, Dudley House on Park
Lane, tick, the Deputy Prime Minister’s £180 million Lombard House mansion on
Curzon Street (really), tick oh and don't forget their prized Harrods. Well, surely
everyone needs their own appropriately fabulous department store. Tick.
Now don't go unconscious, there is more ticking. Qatar has added not only the
existing 97 acres of glass skyscrapers and high end retail space at Canary
Wharf, but its two planned additions: a 60-storey residential tower and a 20-acre
waterside development at Wood Wharf. Qatar has just bought Canary Wharf for
Qatari prime minister is also a joint venture partner in the One Hyde Park
development with the Candy boys, I mean Brothers. Sheikh Hamad Bin Jassim
Bin Jabr Al-Thani selected the very best apartment - a triple-storey penthouse.
But - when a top-floor, panoramic view of Hyde Park penthouse won't do,
members of the royal family need only hop over to Regent's Park to 1, 2 or 3
Cornwall Terrace, which they bought in 2013 for £120 million. Surely you are
suffering from wealth-envy by now. I'm knackered.
Be heartened. Just when the game was going so well, plans for what would have
been the UK's first £200million home has been scuppered. Now how is that
possible since the Qataris have been given total carte blanche to indulge their
Well, plans for Qatar's royal family to create their own 33,000 sq ft palace in
London's Regent's Park have been rejected by a town hall planning officer; the
capital's housing shortage was the excuse. Not the cigar room then?
No worries. There is so much more on offer outside London. UQ rather than UK?
They're Over-Paid, Over-Sexed, Over Here
For those who are stupid, I repeat stupid enough to choose American football
over proper football or even rugby, it's all good news.
Six American teams will be twinned with six British schools; 9-12 year olds. The
Americans say "it (obviously football) builds character and leadership." Clearly
missing from the British psyche. They want football incorporated into the
curriculum - since we have no sports in Britain do we. This will be saving normal
students from gangs, crime, drugs and "going off the rails".
The NFL is getting nearer to establishing a franchise in London. Chancellor
Georgie-Boy is thrilled. Really. He's giving government backing to basing a
permanent franchise. Surely he and PM CallMeDave were shrieking, jumping
up and down and giving high-fives at the three NFL sell-out (yes, literally and
figuratively) games at Wembley last season.
And now for the bad news for those salivating at even the mention of The Super
Bowl. Ignoring the use of advantageous under-inflated footballs recently reported
(oops), risk-taking, bad behaviour and cheating, Discovery News cites on-field
and off-field scandals that have plagued the NFL in recent years.
Surprised? A video showed Baltimore Ravens’ running back, Ray Rice,
slamming his then fiancée (later wife - nice) to the floor of an elevator in 2014,
and dragging her unconscious body out the door. That must be the 'leadership'
quality promised or perhaps the degenerative brain damage not uncommon that
include memory loss, dementia, aggression and depression. Or he's simply a
sadistic misogynist creep.
In the last 9 years, 11 former NFL players have committed suicide, been
involved in murder and other character-building criminal behaviour. The NFL
doesn't test for human growth hormone. Those massive muscular bodies are
Did I mention while the NFL brings in $10bn yearly, the league enjoys tax
exempt status and receives taxpayer-funded subsidies.
Although the NFL rakes in nearly $10 billion a year, inflating the bank accounts
of millionaire players, billionaire owners, television networks and corporate
sponsors, the NFL headquarters is actually treated as a non-profit organization.
Harvard researcher Judith Grant Long calculated that 70 percent of NFL
stadiums have been built with taxpayer money. “In general, the public subsidises
pro football to the tune of around $1 billion a year.” Cheerleaders are paid less
than $5 an hour. But then, why would you ever want to be a cheerleader? I'd
rather not imagine why. Ew.
"...they are someone very famous and they came all the way from America".
The observation of a sweet 10 year old who clearly is in need of help before he
'goes off the rails' like many of the NFL players.
A British rugby charity for disadvantaged children has raised £22m for 650
projects. Just saying....