Letters From London
Humorous Views on London Culture, Royals, Gossip and Politics
“Mine’s messier than yourrrrrrrs.”

“Mine’s learning how to do the Sunday roast.”

“Mine just discovered curry.”

“Mine wears a suit on the beach.”

“Mine rolls up his sleeves when he meets the commoners.”

“Mine can get teary on cue now.”

“Mine has a modern, cool quiff.”

“Mine bites his nails down to the quick.”

“Mine’s sooooooooo fascinating, soooooooooo interesting, sooooooooo rich, sooooooooooo
posh – well, not nearly as posh as I am though.”

“Mine is pathologically neurotic and has acutely arrested emotional development.”

“Mine is totally vacuous and soulless and without depth.”

“Mine has one eye.”

As we are the 51st state, the American spin doctors have naturally brought us a US style
election. PM for president, controlled debates and the Stepford Wives; the obsequious, fawning
Mrs Gordon Brown and Mrs Dave Cameron; no loss of identity there then.

“In my first interview at my kitchen table, I repeated ‘you know’ twelve times, ‘sort of’ four times,
‘really’ six times – four in one sentence. That makes me more American than you.”

“I’m bigger than you.”

“I’m in fashion and retail. I’m thinner than you.”

“You’re the creative director of a Bond Street
stationers. Naomi is my new best friend.”

“I’m down with the people; I’ve shortened my name to Sam and now I call David, Dave. Sam ‘n
Dave.  How cool is that?”

“I get more tweets than Stephen Fry.”

“Dave’s never let me down in fourteen years annnnnd we got his mother on TV.”

“What? Now you’ve gone too far. I’m texting Gordon!”