LETTERS FROM LONDON
REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
03 March 2016
Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Oh dear oh dear. Last week we were told of Tracy Emin’s ‘rock wedding’ – ie,
marriage to that rock in her garden – we already knew she had taken a vow of
celibacy and was waiting for her soul mate in human form.

Well, this week she has felt compelled to share with us that she would have liked
to have been born a man. Looking for a ‘soul mate’ as a Roman man? Hmmm.

TE told the
Daily Mail (where else?): “I would have liked to possibly have been a
Roman man, maybe 3,000 years ago with my wife and my entourage with really
attractive boys. It would have suited me really well.” Oh so we are thinking gay
then? No Roman surprise there. But the point really?

Surely TE will imagine herself to be a Chinese concubine next week as her latest
show has opened in China. Brand-Emin is clearly inexhaustible.

Not to belabour the rock reference – that was last week’s article – but curiously
TE is not the only rock-obsessed. In Buckinghamshire Victor Wright has vowed
to chain himself to a massive rock in his village. Huh you say? Victor is refusing
to allow the council to remove it.

It’s 3ft high and has lived there for 11,000 years. No, really. 11,000 years.
Impressive surely. Evidently it was pushed from Derbyshire in the last ice age,
as the glacier disappeared across southern England. Be impressed.

Someone drove into it and naturally blamed the rock to claim compensation –
thus, the council decide it had to be removed from future idiots’ antics. After the
obvious outrage of ‘health and safety’ (always good for a laugh) concerns, the
council has relented and Victor has been victorious. Is that TE cheering?


Strike a Pose

Well finally. I’ve been ranting to myself – and anyone who would listen – as you
would imagine, not many – that the peasants need to revolt. They needed to
gather en masse and say ‘No!” to the evil manipulations of the Tories.  
Boycotting, withholding, strikes, plotting - any group coming together to create a
powerful voice rejecting ideological injustice.

A eureka moment: the teachers and junior doctors are planning to strike
together. Joint action; doctors and teachers hand-in-hand to strike. We know
what the junior doctors need to strike over, while the teachers are coming
together to reject the absurd stratagem to eliminate all schools and for them to be
replaced by academies – with teachers and parents having no say at all. How
much do we love this government? Ah, more privatisation.

ScienceDaily: A new study indicates that the thought processes of political
conservatives gives greater weight to negative information. Conservatives are
significantly more likely to remember images that evoke negative emotions. Just
saying.

Christine Blower, the school union’s General Secretary: “We will, of course
continue to offer solidarity on each of their forth-coming strike days…teachers
and doctors are central to ensuring that we have decent public health and
education services. We have common interests. We should indeed unite our
fights…I have gone from anger to incandescent.” As you do. Evidently the
124,000 education staff were “very cross”.

US taking over the NHS. Save us. Allowing the US to buy British schools for
profit. Oh really. Is it even necessary to say one English word on that absurdity?
See Fleet StreetFox’s 30 March tweet: ‘Oh America – why ARE you so stupid?’  
Just saying.

Possibly and ironically their xenophobic zeal has prevented the total
undermining, dismantling, flogging off of their country. They haven’t sold off all
their assets as we have (mostly to them); utilities, industries, prisons,
immigration centres, airports, railways, water, nuclear power, traditional British
foods, ad infinity – is there anything left? Not really. Mr Kipling and Bistro are
next to be taken over by the US – by the way.

OK. I do digress. For the first time ever, a full walkout in NHS history is planned
by the doctors the last week in April. One reason to be cheerful…middle class
anarchists unite.


RIP

‘Four candles’ for Ronnie Corbett and what for Zaha Hadid then? A smooth
biomorphic rock? Where’s Tracy when you need her? Actually shocked at the
brilliant architect’s sudden death as was everyone else.
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