LETTERS FROM LONDON
REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
11 June 2016
Revolting

Ah. The beautiful game. Perhaps the Russians should have been informed. Can
you imagine if England had won? Total massacre rather than beatings with lead
pipes and stomping on heads.

No police in the stadium. Why? No proper checks at the gates. Why? Russia
will be staging the World Cup in two years. Why?

“People are talking about revolution.” No. This statement isn’t referencing the
Russians or the Brexit movement, although Brexit may have in fact used it and
the media is basically obsessed with either the EU referendum or the US
candidates. Yawn.

Actually it was announced by former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright at a
rally for Hillary in February. “What kind of a revolution would it be to have the
first woman president of the United States?”

Albright is convinced that hell waits “for women who don’t help each other”! Be
afraid, be very afraid.

Oh really now. Five more months of endless hyperbole. Help! As you may have
noticed, the British media has been covering the US election as if it were our
very own. No news there. Think of it as two (!) years out of your life. PM the
Donald or PM Hillary?

227 years and no female president. Now what does that actually say about
America? Everything you can imagine, but let me assist here.

The list of countries where women have held the offices of Prime Minister or
President from 1960 to 2016 – sometimes multiple times: beginning with Ceylon,
followed by India, Israel, Central African Republic, UK, Portugal, Dominica,
Yugoslavia, Norway, Pakistan, Lithuania, Norway, Bangladesh, France, Poland,
Turkey, Canada, Burundi, Rwanda, Sri Lanka, Bulgaria, Haiti, Guyana, New
Zealand, Mongolia…Mongolia in 1999! Moving on: Senegal, South Korea, Sao
Tome and Principe, Finland, Mozambique, Ukraine, Bahamas, Germany,
Jamaica, Moldova, Iceland, Croatia, Madagascar, Trinidad and Tobago,
Australia, Slovakia, Peru, Mali, Thailand, Denmark, Guinea-Bissar, North
Cyprus, Transnistria (huh?), Latvia, Poland, Nambia, Greece. Presidents follow:
Bolivia, Argentina (I know, don’t cry for me, but this list is endless), Malta, San
Marino, Philippines, East Germany, Nicaragua, Ireland, Burundi, Liberia,
Ecuador, Guyana, Switzerland, Latvia, Panama, Indonesia, Serbia, Georgia,
Austria, Chile, South Africa, Gabon, Kyrgyzstan, Costa Rica, Brazil, Kosovo,
Mauritius, Malawi, Central African Republic, Nepal, The Marshal Islands, Taiwan.
Sigh. That was exhausting. I think I made my point.

So you think Hillary is the first woman to hope to secure the presidency?
Wrong. In 1870 Victoria Woodhull, leader of the Suffrage movement was the
first, impressively five decades before women could even vote. Other women
followed. Suffragette/lawyer Belva Ann Lockwood in 1884 and 1888. Senator
Margaret Chase Smith in 1964. They weren’t giving up were they? Sadly
pointless. Shirley Chisholm in 1972. A black contender? Shocking. There are
more of course, however enough. They weren’t elected were they?

Hillary has always wanted to be president. Yet bizarrely she has promised to
‘share’ the position with Bill. No. Really. She told her fellow Americans that she’ll
rely on her husband to govern. What? In Kentucky in May, Hillary reassured
voters that Bill will be “in charge of revitalising the economy because, you know,
he knows how to do it”. Oh. Did she mean his close relationship with mega
grasping greedy corporations? Oh surely not. I’m finding this dual-rule more
disturbing than her dodgy donor emails.

Columnist Karl McDonald in the
i offers an insight into what a ‘buy one get one
free’ dual role brings to the presidential desk. Bill’s “prison reforms led to the
enormous number of Americans in prison today. He ended welfare as we know
it. He deregulated Wall Street, signed free trade agreements, stepped up the
now largely discredited war on drugs and knew about the Rwandan
genocide…the US Presidency is a job, not a dynastic position…” Indeed.

Hillary has used her gender ceaselessly. As you do to win. Years previous she
refused to stay home to make cupcakes as ‘the little woman’ – or whatever she
said – now she’s the ‘grandmother-in-chief’. One of her campaign slogans is ‘I'm
with her’.

Nevertheless, people are tweeting #anybodybuthillary. Oh dear me. She also has
the lowest favourability rating of any US candidate since polling began,
excluding the Donald of course. But back to the referendum. We have only two
weeks of interminable suffering rather than twenty weeks. Yes.

According to Political Scrapbook, The Vote Leave campaign has just quietly
deleted a misleading page on its website that was advertised on Google.

When Brits searched for ‘Register to vote’ for the EU Referendum, the page was
linked to a Google search ad, thus giving the impression Brits could register to
vote through that page. Oh dear me.

With a sudden massive swing to Brexit, is your conscience clear of all those lies
Nigel and Boris have been declaring? Really? Oh give it a little think….


I'm Losing the Will to Live

Who knew Corbyn was paying homage to Howard Hughes? Curious? A bit? OK.
Anyway. Cameras focused on JC’s naked feet when he visited a Sikh temple.
Intentionally? Seemingly. Oh dear me. I cannot get that image out of my mind. I
fear I’ll see it in my nightmares.

Still with me here? Long yellow toe nails. Gag-reflex! I’m feeling faint! ‘Ew’ can’t
even describe an appropriate response. His personal political hygiene
statement? We know he secretly wants out of Europe and thus has been
criticised for not representing Labour’s Remain position with even the slightest
hint of enthusiasm. Well, not so secretly then.

JC has had 9 months to convince those undecided. When channel 4 went to see
JC “work his socks off” (see above) in West Bromwich they confronted him as
to why 9 out of 10 people asked thought Labour was pro Brexit. JC blamed the
media. Oh really….

We are reaching the point of total media saturation here with Hillary vs the
Donald, Brexit vs Remain, Corbyn vs Boris/Nigel vs Dave. But what are our
alternatives? Beyonce’s homage to Prince? Oh pleeeeease. “Wow! She looks
exactly like Grace Jones!” Some sycophant celebrity presenter announced
when covering the celebs. What?! I need to say that again. WHAT???!!! Does
that idiot actually know who Grace Jones is?

Or the sycophant celebrity presenter who shrieked: “Kate Moss’ daughter looks
exactly like her mother! Exactly!” Both are on the latest Vogue cover. In fact, she
looks ‘exactly’ like her father, Jefferson Hack, as was pointed out by a TV
personality not quite so sycophantic. OK. Now I have lost the will….
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