LETTERS FROM LONDON
REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
28 July 2016
Quod Periit, Periit

Vos autem idiotae or you are idiots or possibly we could try U R
follis/fatue/stolide!  Admittedly I can’t be certain these attempts at Latin are
accurate. I can recall ‘amo, amas, amat’ etc after four years – like everyone
else who took Latin – or should I have written ‘amo, amas, amat, amamus,
amatis, amant’ as the government in its wisdom has decided Latin is not for
dummies?

The government is to ban all its Latin abbreviations on all its websites to avoid
confusing all its non-English speakers. Those little abbreviations could confuse
people, don’t you know. Statistic show 1,500,000 people worldwide speak
English, of whom only 375,000 are native speakers. Thus, the most spoken
language worldwide. But let’s not confuse them. All government departments as
well as several other agencies and public bodies are included in the dumbing
down.

So no more eg, ie, etc, ad inf, ad nauseam. Gov.uk websites will now only be in
“plain English.” The “plain English” of which 60% of all English words are
derived from Latin - 90% of those over two syllables are Latin based. The
changes apply to all Whitehall departments. Oh dear, oh dear. Latin-espousing-
Boris may find this decision rather restricting. Bonus propitiabitur mihi! Just
saying. OK. It translates ‘good gracious me’ – unless you already knew that.
Surely Boris would.

Spokesman Steve Jenner from the Plain English Campaign said abbreviations
should always be avoided where possible, etc, etc.

A spokeswoman for the gov. added that the phrases could confuse English
speakers: “Even those with high literacy levels can be thrown if they are reading
under stress or are in a hurry…” Insanus! In a hurry? What? Etc is a ‘phrase’
that could be confusing? What? She added: "We’ve found that several programs
that read web pages for those with visual impairment read ‘e.g’ incorrectly, so
we’re updating the style guide.” Hmm. e g…e g…? What? Well, possibly those
reading the web pages should familiarise themselves with English - ‘for example’.

Is this dumbing down the language or just dumb? Will the gov. also remove “”!&?
So confusing don’t you know, particularly when you might be in a hurry!

Defending the use of Latin, Roger Wemyss Brooks of the Latin Mass Society of
England and Wales, which teaches Latin language courses said: “Latin is part of
our cultural heritage and it’s part of the basis of English. It unites us with other
cultures throughout Europe and the world who have a connection with the
Romance languages (exactly what Brexiteers don’t want). It’s a very concise
language which is used specifically for its precision and I think it’s short sighted
to be giving it up.” But Roger, what if you have high literacy levels and are in a
hurry?

So it’s all: ‘meaning’, ‘that is’, ‘such as’, ‘for example’, ‘so and so on’, ‘to a
sickening degree’, ‘to infinity’ then innit? Egregie! Oops. I mean brilliant!


Scribere in Murum

New PM Theresa May is teaching those who enter the doors of No 10 to read.
Not Latin. No more portraits of Queen Elizabeth I, Sir Isaac Newton, first PM
Robert Walpole as well as views of Whitehall, Westminster Bridge and St Paul’s
Cathedral creating a sort of historic context in the historic building.

More than 500 paintings, sculptures and antique items are currently on loan to
Downing Street from the Government Art Collection to be replaced by framed
selected quotations from the speech May delivered upon becoming Prime
Minister in which she set out her political priorities. I am serious. Really.

Surely you are wondering why. Narcissism, dementia, l'état, c'est moi?
Apparently her aim is to give staff a constant reminder of the need to deliver
results in tackling (Labour issues) inequality and improving the prospects of the
worst-off. Oh pull the other leg. Animal print kitten heel or not.

Ministers and aides will be tested regularly on their progress towards achieving
the traditionally non-nasty Tory goals May has set out. Are you ‘devolvunt in
tabulatum risum’? Oh oops. I mean rolling on the floor laughing?

Evidently Theresa has been quoting Labour. No surprise there. Take the need
for ‘reform capitalism’ – an oxymoron to start for the Tories. Where have we
heard this previously? Oh right. The derided Ed Miliband: We are talking about
how we are going to reform capitalism (take note here), not abolish it as my Dad
would have wanted it.” In retrospect, not best referencing his dad who was
erroneously labelled by
The Daily Mail: the Man Who Hated Britain.

Oh let’s do this one next: “A country that works for everyone, not just a privileged
few.” Yawn. Yes, this had been repeated and repeated by the Tories ad inf….
Now for Ed: “We should reward the hard work of everyone… (not) government
that works only for the privileged few.” Oh dear oh dear. Theresa, we’re all going
unconscious here.

Then Theresa had the nerve to quote Corbynite-Trotskyite, John McDonnell –
and a recent quote no less. “…pay particularly for the most senior staff, needs
to be set in a fair and transparent fashion and remuneration should be overseen
by those from all levels of the company.”

And what does Teresa want? “Worker representatives on their boards and
impose tighter controls on executive pay.” All mouth and no trousers I’m thinking.


All Mouth and Trousers

“…smash her back on her heels” – kitten heels, Owen? Oh Owen, Owen.
Macho, misogynist Owen. Be cheered he didn’t say “smash Theresa May in her
face” then.

In his major policy speech, Owen revealed his honest feelings:  “I'll be honest
with you – it pained that we didn't have the strength and the power and the vitality
to smash her back on her heels and argue that these are our values, these are
our people, this is our language that they are seeking to steel (not if it’s Latin).”

Labour leadership challenger Owen initially denied, then refused to apologise,
then declared it was simply “a piece of rhetoric”. Rhetoric. Right. Owen told
reporters: “We need a bit more robust rhetoric in our politics. I’m very much in
favour of that, you’ll be getting that back from me and I absolutely stand by those
comments.” Hmmm. Makes you wonder if all these politicians live in a self-
referring parallel universe where there are no witnesses, verifications.

Naturally Owen then apologised, forced to deny inciting violence against women.
Right. The man is a right idiot.

Let’s let the man speak for himself. He clearly is quite adept. When asked by a
reporter if he stood by the comments, Owen joked: “They love a bit of rhetoric
don't they?” referring to the press pack. Do they? Well why weren’t we informed?

“It's rhetoric, of course - I don't literally want to smash Theresa May back, just to
be clear, I'm not advocating violence in any way, shape or form but I am
rhetorically saying: 'Come on, let's smash the Tories back, knock them on their
heels!' he shouted. His supporters applauded. A bit too close to American
entertainment-politics: all that bloody shrieking and shouting. Sigh. “Their ideas,
their values, let's smash them, let's get Labour in, that's what we need to do”!!!

Owen does not have a good record on his view of women. Let’s do his domestic
violence comments. An online article in 2010 revealed the obvious: Owen wrote
that the Lib Dems (the junior Coalition partners) would “file for divorce as soon
as the bruises start to show through the make-up”. At the time, women's charities
condemned him for using “a fairly tasteless analogy”. So are we thinking Owen
may have really wanted to ‘smash Teresa in the face’ after all? Really. Right. It’s
only rhetoric.

A Corbyn campaign source told the
Huffington Post: “Jeremy has consistently
called for a kinder, gentler politics. We should all reflect that in our political
rhetoric.” This in response to Owen’s comments by the brick-throwing, rape-
threatening, death-warning kinder Corbynites then. Right. They are all right
idiots – regardless how far to the left they go.

A YouGov poll gives the Tories a massive 12-point lead over Labour. The poll
found that 2.7million people who backed Ed (Miliband) last year said they would
vote for the Theresa. 29 per cent of Labour voters who said they would back the
Tories next time around. And Teresa hasn’t even begun her Labour principles
yet. Babae!
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