| Letters From London |
| Humorous Views on London Politics |
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The Cult of Personality...or Not - September 24 2009
“Sarah. It’s my turn to use the audio sleep tape. Give it here.”
“No, no Gordon. It’s Monday. My turn.”
“But we must have personalities before the Labour Conference.”
“I’ll have one before youuuuuu.”More
“Sarah. It’s my turn to use the audio sleep tape. Give it here.”
“No, no Gordon. It’s Monday. My turn.”
“But we must have personalities before the Labour Conference.”
“I’ll have one before youuuuuu.”More
The Prince Among the Paupers - 4 October 2008
Mr Character, Mr I Love Myself, Mr Supercilious, Mr Imperious, Mr Toff, Mr U-turn, Mr Blair
clone, Mr Man with the Plan, Mr Old Boys' Network, Mr Slick is so smooth and slimy, he leaves
an oil trail like a slug. It’s the Tory Conference. It’s your favourite candidate. It’s Mr Cameron
Chameleon. More
Mr Character, Mr I Love Myself, Mr Supercilious, Mr Imperious, Mr Toff, Mr U-turn, Mr Blair
clone, Mr Man with the Plan, Mr Old Boys' Network, Mr Slick is so smooth and slimy, he leaves
an oil trail like a slug. It’s the Tory Conference. It’s your favourite candidate. It’s Mr Cameron
Chameleon. More
It's the Miracle, Stupid - 7 November 2008
“Obaaaama! Obaaaama! Obaaaama!” To anybody not in a coma or living in a cave for the last
two years, this election has been touted as the end of America’s sleepwalking apathy, their
paralysing passivity and the awakening and vocalising of the proletariat. More
“Obaaaama! Obaaaama! Obaaaama!” To anybody not in a coma or living in a cave for the last
two years, this election has been touted as the end of America’s sleepwalking apathy, their
paralysing passivity and the awakening and vocalising of the proletariat. More
The Emperor's New Clothes - 28 November 2008
Stand back, duck for cover, run; it’s the new (not) improved Gordon, all puffed up and full of
himself to the point of implosion. Gordon is utterly giddy. The Prime Minister gleefully grins his
new scary ‘smile’ and we should be scared. Giddy Grinning Gordie is drunk with power. All these
massive save-Britain-plans are devised to save Gordon. More
Stand back, duck for cover, run; it’s the new (not) improved Gordon, all puffed up and full of
himself to the point of implosion. Gordon is utterly giddy. The Prime Minister gleefully grins his
new scary ‘smile’ and we should be scared. Giddy Grinning Gordie is drunk with power. All these
massive save-Britain-plans are devised to save Gordon. More
The Man Who Would Be King - 20 January 2009
“O B A M A, O B A M A, O B A M A!” Is it a bird, a plane, no – it’s superman; the man who
would be king. Adulation for a celebrity, pop star, guru, King of England, star of the film, Martin
Luther King? No. It’s for the saviour of the world rallying the masses pre-inauguration. More
“O B A M A, O B A M A, O B A M A!” Is it a bird, a plane, no – it’s superman; the man who
would be king. Adulation for a celebrity, pop star, guru, King of England, star of the film, Martin
Luther King? No. It’s for the saviour of the world rallying the masses pre-inauguration. More
Give it Back - 28 February 2009
“Sir Fred. So sorry, but could you please consider giving back a bit, even a tiny bit of your
pension for life. Please. Pleeeasssse.”
“Ha, ha, ha. Oh Alistair. Dear boy you are amusing. Bugger off.” More
“Sir Fred. So sorry, but could you please consider giving back a bit, even a tiny bit of your
pension for life. Please. Pleeeasssse.”
“Ha, ha, ha. Oh Alistair. Dear boy you are amusing. Bugger off.” More
Back Off Obamas - 2 April 2009
“Da you um think we’ve um beaten the um Bush’s record um for the-power-back-steering?”
“Yeah. How many did you do?”
“Um seventy-two. You?” More
“Da you um think we’ve um beaten the um Bush’s record um for the-power-back-steering?”
“Yeah. How many did you do?”
“Um seventy-two. You?” More
Tick, Tick, Tick...Boom! - 10 May 2009
They simply ticked the boxes. They simply implemented their own disastrous Labour
tick-the-boxes policy. They have disastrously unsuccessfully applied it to education, the NHS,
immigration, but they were wildly, zealously, fanatically successful at ticking their own boxes.
More
They simply ticked the boxes. They simply implemented their own disastrous Labour
tick-the-boxes policy. They have disastrously unsuccessfully applied it to education, the NHS,
immigration, but they were wildly, zealously, fanatically successful at ticking their own boxes.
More
It's Pants! - 17 May 2009
We now know that the Speaker of the ‘Commons’ Michael Martin not only crammed his wife’s
handbag with taxi reimbursements for her limitless shopping excursions, tried to block an
investigation regarding all these moat/Ikea bag/chandelier/phantom mortgages/ad infinitum
expenses at our expense, but in the 80’s he sent his dirty (argh) underpants home to be washed
and ironed by his frocked wife by illegally franking the envelopes. Oh dear, oh dear. What an
odious little man. More
We now know that the Speaker of the ‘Commons’ Michael Martin not only crammed his wife’s
handbag with taxi reimbursements for her limitless shopping excursions, tried to block an
investigation regarding all these moat/Ikea bag/chandelier/phantom mortgages/ad infinitum
expenses at our expense, but in the 80’s he sent his dirty (argh) underpants home to be washed
and ironed by his frocked wife by illegally franking the envelopes. Oh dear, oh dear. What an
odious little man. More
"You're Fired!" - 6 June 2009
“Let go, Gordon! Let go!”
Going from dour hound dog to spiteful pit bull, Gordon continues to refuse to release his maniacal
grip on power. He has bitten down on the stick, foaming at the mouth, growling at any and all
threats. Gordon; it’s ‘speak softly and carry a big stick’. Typical. The man just can’t get anything
right. More
“Let go, Gordon! Let go!”
Going from dour hound dog to spiteful pit bull, Gordon continues to refuse to release his maniacal
grip on power. He has bitten down on the stick, foaming at the mouth, growling at any and all
threats. Gordon; it’s ‘speak softly and carry a big stick’. Typical. The man just can’t get anything
right. More
You Can Call Me Mr. 'T' - 31 July 2009
Gosh. Goodness. Goodness gracious me. Dear me. Dear oh dear. Oh my. Crikey.
Chameleon Conservative Cameron has used the ‘t’ word. No. Not that ‘t’ word – ie. toff, but the
one that can be used instead of the ‘c’ word. No. Not that word – ie. conservative. None of the ‘b’
words. But one of the ‘p’ words…twice. More
Gosh. Goodness. Goodness gracious me. Dear me. Dear oh dear. Oh my. Crikey.
Chameleon Conservative Cameron has used the ‘t’ word. No. Not that ‘t’ word – ie. toff, but the
one that can be used instead of the ‘c’ word. No. Not that word – ie. conservative. None of the ‘b’
words. But one of the ‘p’ words…twice. More
Season or Idiot's Delight - 9 August 2009
First idiot: Massively rolling in it Rupert Murdoch has announced that he is going to start charging
for his online news services which include The Wall Street Journal and the New York Post, the
Times and the Sunday Times, the Sun and the News of the World. Will people pay to read
rubbish on line when they can often buy for 20p? I think not. ‘We had sex every day for a month!’
Enticing? I think not. Can people who read The Sun and the News of the World actually read?
More
First idiot: Massively rolling in it Rupert Murdoch has announced that he is going to start charging
for his online news services which include The Wall Street Journal and the New York Post, the
Times and the Sunday Times, the Sun and the News of the World. Will people pay to read
rubbish on line when they can often buy for 20p? I think not. ‘We had sex every day for a month!’
Enticing? I think not. Can people who read The Sun and the News of the World actually read?
More
The Dystopia Database - 14 September 2009
“Mummy. Why are you hiding behind the steering wheel?”
“Mummy. Why aren’t you coming in to read to us today?”
“Mummy. Why aren’t you going to coach our team any more?”
“Mummy. Why are you dropping us off so far from school?”
“Daddy. Why aren’t you taking us on our school trip?”
“Daddy. Why can’t you give us sweets after school?”
“Daddy. Why can’t we give Fiona a lift?”
“Daddy. Why are you not wearing your raincoat when it is raining?”
“Why?” More
“Mummy. Why are you hiding behind the steering wheel?”
“Mummy. Why aren’t you coming in to read to us today?”
“Mummy. Why aren’t you going to coach our team any more?”
“Mummy. Why are you dropping us off so far from school?”
“Daddy. Why aren’t you taking us on our school trip?”
“Daddy. Why can’t you give us sweets after school?”
“Daddy. Why can’t we give Fiona a lift?”
“Daddy. Why are you not wearing your raincoat when it is raining?”
“Why?” More
All Together Now - 10th October 2009
Chairman of the Tory Conference, Eric Piggy Pickles had banned the bubbly for fear of
appearing too true to life. “No, no my dear boys. No bubbles up those snooty little noses until
Dave is crowned and installed permanently at No 10.” More
Chairman of the Tory Conference, Eric Piggy Pickles had banned the bubbly for fear of
appearing too true to life. “No, no my dear boys. No bubbles up those snooty little noses until
Dave is crowned and installed permanently at No 10.” More
Money for Nothing - 8 November 2009
I may be speechless, but the boys in power have quite a lot to say regarding their moral
certitude.
One of the many disgraced MPs, Conservative David Wilshire, who was forced to resign after
paying more than £100,000 of our money into his own company, is certain the “witch hunt” to
clean up the mess made by greedy MPs “will undermine democracy”. Silly me. I didn’t know we
had a democracy. I thought it was a plutocracy. Let’s pop them into the Thames loaded down
with massive rocks and see if they float…. More
I may be speechless, but the boys in power have quite a lot to say regarding their moral
certitude.
One of the many disgraced MPs, Conservative David Wilshire, who was forced to resign after
paying more than £100,000 of our money into his own company, is certain the “witch hunt” to
clean up the mess made by greedy MPs “will undermine democracy”. Silly me. I didn’t know we
had a democracy. I thought it was a plutocracy. Let’s pop them into the Thames loaded down
with massive rocks and see if they float…. More
"Are They All Dead Yet?" - 21 January 2010
So is it ‘health and safety’ or imperialism or historic racism or total ineptitude on a grand scale?
US marines: “I’m scart of them kids.” “Yeah. Ya know. They’re hungry and they could turn on us
ya know.” “Yeah, man. Let’s just stay in the plane.” “Yeah. Pass the vitamin water.” “Ya know.
It's just like when we were sent to not help after Katrina.” “Right on, man. Ya know, it’s like one
of those new sci-fi end o’ the world flicks out there.” “Yeah. Where’s the potato chips?” More
So is it ‘health and safety’ or imperialism or historic racism or total ineptitude on a grand scale?
US marines: “I’m scart of them kids.” “Yeah. Ya know. They’re hungry and they could turn on us
ya know.” “Yeah, man. Let’s just stay in the plane.” “Yeah. Pass the vitamin water.” “Ya know.
It's just like when we were sent to not help after Katrina.” “Right on, man. Ya know, it’s like one
of those new sci-fi end o’ the world flicks out there.” “Yeah. Where’s the potato chips?” More
In the Thick of It - 29 January 2010
Tony Blair defends his position in history to his friends at the Chilcot Inquiry.
45 minutes to total annihilation: “ We had only 45 minutes to get to the WWII bunkers before
Saddam was going to nuke us. Have you noticed my new American expression? GB taught it to
me at the ranch. Nuke. I’m lovin’ it.” More
Tony Blair defends his position in history to his friends at the Chilcot Inquiry.
45 minutes to total annihilation: “ We had only 45 minutes to get to the WWII bunkers before
Saddam was going to nuke us. Have you noticed my new American expression? GB taught it to
me at the ranch. Nuke. I’m lovin’ it.” More
Everybody Hurts - 15 February 2010
“I won!”
“No! I won!”
The public seems to have decided that grief-stricken-Gordie has beat devastated-Dave in the
crying game/competition that will decide who takes office at the General Election. More
“I won!”
“No! I won!”
The public seems to have decided that grief-stricken-Gordie has beat devastated-Dave in the
crying game/competition that will decide who takes office at the General Election. More