 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| Letters From London |
| Humorous Views on London Culture, Royals, Gossip and Politics |
MY TURN TO PLINTH OR NOT TO PLINTH 6/7/09
Every hour of every day for 100 days it is the art of the people, by the people, for the people.
“What makes this project interesting is that it is anti-monumental; giving the plinth over to the
ordinary man or woman places value and merit in elevating the ordinary,” declared BBC arts
correspondent Razia Iqbal. A shame the government hasn’t the slightest understanding of art, the
art of people or the people. Although contempt can be conceptual.
A protester with his anti-smoking sign jumped the queue. An anti-smoking complaint aimed at
actors in movies. Tut tut. Wouldn’t the outrage over the continuation of bankers’ obscene
bonuses be a worthier grievance?
He was followed by a stay-at-home-mum-from-the-midlands who said she felt “right at home”
and “peaceful” up there on the plinth. If this is any indication of what is to follow, it is definitely
time to return art to the school curriculum.
Even if Antony Gormley himself were to hoist the now ubiquitous Sarah Brown clutching to her
pinny Gordy’s sad attempt to keep him in office - lasagne, it wouldn’t pass for art because spin is
simply not a convincing act of imagination. Gordon himself can’t be placed on the plinth because
he’d be replaced by Alan Johnson. Cameron would be barely visible and slither off due to his
transparency and slipperiness.
Perhaps BBC £6.3m pension-collecting cultural director Alan Yentob would be willing to commit
an act of art by shaving off that nasty stubble on his face, but that is too postmodern, too early
70’s. Although he could shout down: “Do you want to see what I really look like?” and those
below would respond: “Only if you keep a bag over your head and return our money!”
Prince Andrew might be lowered on to the plinth via his personal helicopter for a ‘business’
meeting that will cost us £1.2m for the hour and only benefit PA’s coffers while instructing his
valet to pass a homeless person’s cap for the audience to contribute to PA’s daughters’
nightclubbing.
And if an unknown photographic journalist were to climb on with a sign: END FASCISM IN
BRITAIN he/she would be taken out with one shot in the head by the balaclava-ed squat team
hiding in St Martin-in-the-Fields church. Blood would drip a la Pollock on the pavement. “Crikey.
Isn’t that a real conceptual art piece using real blood?” “Possibly, Boris. Possibly.” "I think it's
fantastic - it's about capturing art for the people. It's about democratising art… it's a profound
meditation on the nature of fame and talent.”
Designed by Sir Charles Barry in 1841, originally intended to hold an equestrian statue of William
IV, the fourth plinth may be the last vestige of person freedom expressed publicly, but it is only
the first day and it may be that the riot police haven’t received their orders as yet…probably left
on the tube.
Every hour of every day for 100 days it is the art of the people, by the people, for the people.
“What makes this project interesting is that it is anti-monumental; giving the plinth over to the
ordinary man or woman places value and merit in elevating the ordinary,” declared BBC arts
correspondent Razia Iqbal. A shame the government hasn’t the slightest understanding of art, the
art of people or the people. Although contempt can be conceptual.
A protester with his anti-smoking sign jumped the queue. An anti-smoking complaint aimed at
actors in movies. Tut tut. Wouldn’t the outrage over the continuation of bankers’ obscene
bonuses be a worthier grievance?
He was followed by a stay-at-home-mum-from-the-midlands who said she felt “right at home”
and “peaceful” up there on the plinth. If this is any indication of what is to follow, it is definitely
time to return art to the school curriculum.
Even if Antony Gormley himself were to hoist the now ubiquitous Sarah Brown clutching to her
pinny Gordy’s sad attempt to keep him in office - lasagne, it wouldn’t pass for art because spin is
simply not a convincing act of imagination. Gordon himself can’t be placed on the plinth because
he’d be replaced by Alan Johnson. Cameron would be barely visible and slither off due to his
transparency and slipperiness.
Perhaps BBC £6.3m pension-collecting cultural director Alan Yentob would be willing to commit
an act of art by shaving off that nasty stubble on his face, but that is too postmodern, too early
70’s. Although he could shout down: “Do you want to see what I really look like?” and those
below would respond: “Only if you keep a bag over your head and return our money!”
Prince Andrew might be lowered on to the plinth via his personal helicopter for a ‘business’
meeting that will cost us £1.2m for the hour and only benefit PA’s coffers while instructing his
valet to pass a homeless person’s cap for the audience to contribute to PA’s daughters’
nightclubbing.
And if an unknown photographic journalist were to climb on with a sign: END FASCISM IN
BRITAIN he/she would be taken out with one shot in the head by the balaclava-ed squat team
hiding in St Martin-in-the-Fields church. Blood would drip a la Pollock on the pavement. “Crikey.
Isn’t that a real conceptual art piece using real blood?” “Possibly, Boris. Possibly.” "I think it's
fantastic - it's about capturing art for the people. It's about democratising art… it's a profound
meditation on the nature of fame and talent.”
Designed by Sir Charles Barry in 1841, originally intended to hold an equestrian statue of William
IV, the fourth plinth may be the last vestige of person freedom expressed publicly, but it is only
the first day and it may be that the riot police haven’t received their orders as yet…probably left
on the tube.
