 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| Letters From London |
| Humorous Views on London Culture, Royals, Gossip and Politics |
Wake up and Smell the Perfume - 8 August 2008
Curious this; it seems that all around the world, women do all the work. Men talk, drink, give
orders, bond. The television series, Tribal Wives, set various British women up to ‘discover’
something about themselves by living with an African tribe for a month. Forget the teary Brits and
their self-discovery; what about all those women building huts, fetching water, cooking, milking
goats, splitting wood, genitally mutilating their own little girls.
In the west, women work at a job all day, feed/dress/take care of their children/pets/husbands.
I'll give you that their partners do work as well…similar to watching ‘their’ prized cattle…but has
no one noticed that’s all?
The latest regression is that women can’t (not allowed to?) ‘have it all’. Let’s think about this.
Why do they want it all? Laundry, food shopping, chauffeuring, cleaning, straightening up, taking
the dog walkies – twice a day, cooking, washing up, making sense of homework, getting the little
darlings to bathe and then to bed – and then to bed – and then back to bed. Wouldn’t they rather
go to work, return home to pat the darlings on the head, read the paper, watch telly, have a chat
with their partner about the meaning of life and then curl under the newly laundered, ironed duvet
for an uninterrupted night’s sleep? The only people who insist that women become stay at home
domestic goddesses are those selling their books, showing off on their own television
programmes, leading seminars…in other words: women who work.
Cambridge University is suddenly now concerned that women who work do it at the expense of
their family life. Really? What have women been doing for the last 40 years then? The wise ones
at Cambridge failed to mention the gradually lowering of the glass ceiling that allows our little
women to make 20-37% less than the little men for the same job or that 75% of married women
with children work outside the home. Everyone plays this mind game where they insist women
work because they have to – solely for financial reasons. Stop there.
According to Cambridge studies, in 1994, 51% of women in Britain and 52% of men said they
believed family life would not suffer if a woman went to work. By 2002 those proportions had
fallen to 46% of women and 42% of men as well as a decline in the number of people thinking
the best way for a woman to be independent is to have a job. Did they consider homelessness
the ultimate independence? Apparently among young people there remains an expectation that
women should perform the household chores. Shouldn’t that be ‘mothers’ as I rather doubt the
‘young people’ are doing much to help. "We are still educating to confirm a gender role division
that people thought was eradicated 25 years ago."
The results are even more extreme in the US, where the percentage of people arguing that
family life does not suffer if a woman works has plummeted, from 51% in 1994 to 38% in 2002.
But in the US you have to take into account Mormons, the all pervasive religious right, Stepford
wives as a crucial cultural influence.
It is very simple. Everyone needs a raison d’etre, an expression of their self-worth: skills, talents,
intelligence, logic, resourcefulness, organisational abilities, not to mention camaraderie, having a
laugh, bossing others, wearing a suit. Everyone needs to participate in life, the world. Everyone
needs to receive compensation, credit, respect, acknowledgement for their efforts. A three year
old throwing up breakfast on your slippers, a five year old creating art with magic markers on the
new 40” LCD television, waiting 7 hours and 13 minutes for the plumber, are not mentally
stimulating or emotionally satisfying. Trust me. Sorting socks is truly not that much fun. Staying
home keeping the shared domestic environment in perfect order is beyond boring. No adult
conversation. No ranting about the French owning (ripping off) UK utilities. No attempts at
deciphering Wittenstein; it’s all whites with whites, darks with darks. Ah. The mental challenge of
it. And why can’t companies create crèches for very young children…on the premises? Mothers
and babies at work. Too simple.
Tell me again why men can’t do domestic chores, take care of their own children, clean up after
themselves, close the fridge door, put their knickers in the washer, not drive their partners to the
edge of suicide by asking where he himself put things like his: glasses, belt, oyster card, sudoku
book…and pencil, his bank statement, left shoe, umbrella, nail clipper, remote, Manchester
United T-shirt.
Ignore the woman as slave, woman as property, woman as inferior the rest of the world
practices. We had feminism. Remember that? The basic premise: equality. Try it.
Curious this; it seems that all around the world, women do all the work. Men talk, drink, give
orders, bond. The television series, Tribal Wives, set various British women up to ‘discover’
something about themselves by living with an African tribe for a month. Forget the teary Brits and
their self-discovery; what about all those women building huts, fetching water, cooking, milking
goats, splitting wood, genitally mutilating their own little girls.
In the west, women work at a job all day, feed/dress/take care of their children/pets/husbands.
I'll give you that their partners do work as well…similar to watching ‘their’ prized cattle…but has
no one noticed that’s all?
The latest regression is that women can’t (not allowed to?) ‘have it all’. Let’s think about this.
Why do they want it all? Laundry, food shopping, chauffeuring, cleaning, straightening up, taking
the dog walkies – twice a day, cooking, washing up, making sense of homework, getting the little
darlings to bathe and then to bed – and then to bed – and then back to bed. Wouldn’t they rather
go to work, return home to pat the darlings on the head, read the paper, watch telly, have a chat
with their partner about the meaning of life and then curl under the newly laundered, ironed duvet
for an uninterrupted night’s sleep? The only people who insist that women become stay at home
domestic goddesses are those selling their books, showing off on their own television
programmes, leading seminars…in other words: women who work.
Cambridge University is suddenly now concerned that women who work do it at the expense of
their family life. Really? What have women been doing for the last 40 years then? The wise ones
at Cambridge failed to mention the gradually lowering of the glass ceiling that allows our little
women to make 20-37% less than the little men for the same job or that 75% of married women
with children work outside the home. Everyone plays this mind game where they insist women
work because they have to – solely for financial reasons. Stop there.
According to Cambridge studies, in 1994, 51% of women in Britain and 52% of men said they
believed family life would not suffer if a woman went to work. By 2002 those proportions had
fallen to 46% of women and 42% of men as well as a decline in the number of people thinking
the best way for a woman to be independent is to have a job. Did they consider homelessness
the ultimate independence? Apparently among young people there remains an expectation that
women should perform the household chores. Shouldn’t that be ‘mothers’ as I rather doubt the
‘young people’ are doing much to help. "We are still educating to confirm a gender role division
that people thought was eradicated 25 years ago."
The results are even more extreme in the US, where the percentage of people arguing that
family life does not suffer if a woman works has plummeted, from 51% in 1994 to 38% in 2002.
But in the US you have to take into account Mormons, the all pervasive religious right, Stepford
wives as a crucial cultural influence.
It is very simple. Everyone needs a raison d’etre, an expression of their self-worth: skills, talents,
intelligence, logic, resourcefulness, organisational abilities, not to mention camaraderie, having a
laugh, bossing others, wearing a suit. Everyone needs to participate in life, the world. Everyone
needs to receive compensation, credit, respect, acknowledgement for their efforts. A three year
old throwing up breakfast on your slippers, a five year old creating art with magic markers on the
new 40” LCD television, waiting 7 hours and 13 minutes for the plumber, are not mentally
stimulating or emotionally satisfying. Trust me. Sorting socks is truly not that much fun. Staying
home keeping the shared domestic environment in perfect order is beyond boring. No adult
conversation. No ranting about the French owning (ripping off) UK utilities. No attempts at
deciphering Wittenstein; it’s all whites with whites, darks with darks. Ah. The mental challenge of
it. And why can’t companies create crèches for very young children…on the premises? Mothers
and babies at work. Too simple.
Tell me again why men can’t do domestic chores, take care of their own children, clean up after
themselves, close the fridge door, put their knickers in the washer, not drive their partners to the
edge of suicide by asking where he himself put things like his: glasses, belt, oyster card, sudoku
book…and pencil, his bank statement, left shoe, umbrella, nail clipper, remote, Manchester
United T-shirt.
Ignore the woman as slave, woman as property, woman as inferior the rest of the world
practices. We had feminism. Remember that? The basic premise: equality. Try it.
