|LETTERS FROM LONDON
|REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
10 November 2018
|Partners in Crime
Ah. The crime drama gets dramatic. The National Crime Agency is to open a
criminal investigation into the now infamous Brexit campaign backer, Arron
Banks, after the Electoral Commission revealed that it had reasonable grounds
to suspect that AB was “not the source” of millions of pounds in loans to Leave.
EU. Uh oh. Naturally AB has denied all or nearly, hence that there was any
naughty funding from Russia in the £8m he donated to the Brexit campaign. £8m
alone is suspect and clearly influenced the outcome.
Potentially criminal: overspending, data-harvesting including how voter data was
used and Russian interference. Goodness me. The facts so far – and you just
know there are so many more to come: investments in, 11 trips to Russia, and
lest we forget his wife – Russian that is. Not sounding good is it?
Now for the fun bit. A new legal case listed for the High Court on 7 December
will argue that Brexit must be declared void – audible cheering here - and that
the notification of Article 50 must be nullified. This is being led by two Queens’
Counsel against the prime minister. Now you know exactly what this means: if
the investigation against now Remainer AB – ha, ha, ha oh he thinks he is so
clever - confirms misconduct, unlawful activity, deception – oh we could go on -
can Brexit be declared void in court? Votes can be void when they break the
law. The common law principle applies to all votes: both elections and
referendums. Simply, if there is any – any! irregularity that affected the result, a
vote must also be declared void. Ah – so Brexit could be voided by the Arron
Banks criminal investigation. Jumping up and down here.
Don’t stop yet. According to a Politico survey, if a second referendum were held
53.3% of just over 3,000 people would back Remain. Knowing you won’t
remember, that’s a six-point lead since the 2016 referendum. And - 105 local
authority areas that voted Leave in 2016 would now vote to stay. Other recent
polls have reported similar results.
Tom, Nigel, Jacob - oh let’s do Boris for the fun of it - could be the name you
choose for your Christmas turkey if the vegan fanatics haven’t attacked you and
your children with eco-friendly sticks – and possibly clubs.
The militant, murderous vegan brigade is out to stop turkey consuming, possibly
by murdering a farmer near Exeter. As you do. The farmer, Matt Carter, has
naturally received menacing death threats.
Farmer Matt put up his offer on Facebook: “You won’t need to get involved in
any of the difficult bits at the end and we will even bone and stuff it for you.”
Come on now. What’s not to like?
His shop was sprayed with graffiti that said 'murder!', it was bombarded with
threatening phone calls and targeted online by vile trolls who branded him
“psychopathic”. As you don’t…particularly when you are…psychopathic.
Now what could this farmer have done to deserve their irrational wrath? The
farmer offered his customers the chance to pick, name and feed their own
Christmas turkey. Nooooooooooo!!! Vegan vandals sprayed “Murder! Go
vegan!” on the door of Greendale Farm Shop. They broke into his farm overnight
to spray massive graffiti on the glass entrance. Then they sprayed bright blue
paint all over the pheasants for purchase that were hung by the shop front.
Farmer Matt responded to the terrorising: “I’m not going to stop being a farmer
because we’ve had a bit of opposition.”
"If you are going to eat meat, I think our way is the best way of doing it - where
you can see the animals and then go to the butchers and buy the meat. If you
are totally anti-meat, then go and start with the huge big factory farms, not the
small businesses who do it like we do it.
"It was the bit about naming it was the bit they really didn't like. I guess that's
because it brings it home to them that it's a real animal - but that's the whole
point. That's why we treat them with respect and look after them."
Oh it just never ends. They are an intractable, nasty, un-Christmassy lot. People
who had left messages of support had been targeted – this is including a mother
who said her autistic son loved the farm, and their sausages. Really.
Don’t name your turkey if you don’t want to, but seriously, that is going a bit far.
Oh and within only three days, there has been 1,500% boosts in sales. Ha!
Hmm. Let’s see; if you stand by your admirable caring position and you prove it
by acting with hate – not really so good is it? Full Fact offers the figures: an
estimated 540,000 adults in Britain are vegan. Oh dear. Those vegans have
been exaggerating their numbers – by thousands and thousands. Naughty.
The Man Who Wil Be King
Ahead of the curve Charles - miles ahead: plastics, GM, climate change, et
cetera - and the Prince’s Trust is undeniably brilliant. Give the man, the prince a
break. He was decades ahead. Disregarding how you feel about the monarchy,
65 years and waiting.
Handing the crown to Wills? No. Stop messing about with the succession. You
don’t get a vote. It isn’t a reality tv programme – well, with Meghan the Menace –
it actually is innit? But it isn’t about a royal popularity contest as much as the
peasants make it so. Clue: they are born into it. No monarchy? Oh dear. Those
originally non-royals would have different ‘jobs’. Can you see Camilla behind the
till in Lidl? Ex-Waity pushing hair products in Superdrug? Oh. The last we can. It
would be her first job and we know about her hair obsession.
Come on now, let’s be impressed. In 1970, when he was only 22, he said this
about plastic pollution: “There are 55 million of us… using indestructible plastic
containers. It is not difficult to imagine the mountains of refuse that we shall have
to deal with.” Come on now, admit it – you are. You know he has written to
ministers on badger culling, school meal nutrition, homeopathy, honouring
classic architecture and god knows what else.
Has anyone noticed for Charlie to ascend, the Queen has to die! Hmm. missed
that then? A monarch is constitutionally barred from expressing opinions in
public – these are saved for the weekly audience with the prime minister. End
of. And if you aren’t in any way sympathetic, just give a little thought to who his
father was. See. There you go. Immediate empathy.
The plants are listening...hope they aren’t planning a mass rebellion….
Tirade over the Tiara
Goodness gracious me. We are not amused – and neither is the Queen. It
seems our newly-royal actress is displaying what her half-sister and friends
have warned about. In a new book by reporter Richard Jobson, it reveals the
other side of happy Harry-the-lad. Harry had been 'petulant and short-tempered'
in the build up to the wedding.
Apparently, Harry put it to the staff - with ‘a raised voice’: “What Meghan wants,
Meghan get!!!” Not if the Queen has a say. Nice Harry. Really nice. When
reports of his 'tiresome behaviour' reached the Queen, she made a request that
her rude, entitled, condescending grandson meet with her privately. Evidently,
she 'put him firmly in his place'.
And what did the rude, entitled, condescending actress demand then? “I am a
very, very famous Hollywood actress and I make all the decisions. I am in
charge now! End of!” Never famous and possibly not a ‘real’ actress, but now
infamous. Meghan the Menace is revealing all the staff already knows. NOT
MM stomped her £500 stilettoes and demanded she wear a tiara that featured
emeralds, according to royal sources. And the problem? No one knew exactly
where it came from. The worry was Russia. Goodness me!
After her tirade over the tiara, MM described her visit to see the Queen and the
choice of the tiara she eventually wore for the wedding as 'an incredibly surreal
day'. Harry and I had gone to Buckingham Palace to meet with Her Majesty the
Queen to select one of the options that were there, which was an incredibly
surreal day as you can imagine. And that was the one that, I think, as we tried
them on, stood out.' Really? Sources say it was the Queen who chose the tiara
she wore, the one made in 1932 for Queen Mary, the Queen’s grandmother. Oh
dear. Surely MM’s latest lies. No longer just a habit, rather pathological.
Naturally she went on – and on as she usually does: “I think it was just perfect
because it was so clean and simple - and also to that point, an extension of what
Clare [Waight Keller] and I had been trying to do with the dress which was have
something that could be so incredibly timeless but still feel modern.” Permission
given to gag here.
Calming down after his tirade over the tiara, Harry ‘joked’ (really – tiara
choosing is – funny?) in the commentary: 'Every girl's dream to be able to try on
a tiara, and, funnily enough, the one that suited the best, the one that looked the
best on you without question, I shouldn't have really even been there, but such
an incredible loan by my grandmother, it was very sweet.' Still gagging here!
A well-placed royal insider said: “Meghan had her heart set on this tiara with
emeralds and Prince Harry hit the roof when they were told it was impossible for
her to wear it.” Gosh! Not the roof!
“There was a very heated exchange that prompted the Queen to speak to Harry.
She said, “Meghan cannot have whatever she wants. She gets what tiara she’s
given by me”. Blimey! That’s not all. “The Queen also questioned why Meghan
needed a veil for the wedding, given it was to be her second marriage. Loving
“The message from the Queen was very much Meghan needed to think about
how she speaks to staff members and be careful to follow family protocols.”
Good luck on that.
It has also emerged Meghan and ex-Waity have clashed over the treatment of
staff. We did wonder about that didn’t we? Not quite as ex-Waity doesn’t have
the best reputation in regards to her staff, nevertheless….
The royal insider added: “Meghan can be difficult. She has very high standards
and is used to working in a Hollywood environment.”
A spokesman for Meghan and Harry declined to comment. She wouldn’t allow
him. God save the Queen – from Meghan.
And as for her staff. Key staff members quitting already? Trouble at the paradise
palace. Meghan the Menace’s personal assistant, Melissa, has quit - suddenly,
just six months into the job.
“It’s a real shock”, a source reported. “Why would she want to leave such a
prestigious job so soon?”
MM’s former agent, Gina Nelthorpe-Cowne, described MM – even before the
wedding as “unique” in her determination to succeed. Oh it must be those high
She said MM was ruthless – not the first time we have heard that – but she
chose ruthless with MM’s time, her attention and her priorities. Hmm. I’d say the
woman is ruthless. She was “picky”, not only when it came to her clothes but
also her colleagues, instantly dismissing those who didn’t share her “vision”.
“Meghan likes to move on.” Anytime soon then?
Oh let’s just mock the moron. Which one you ask? Nearly anyone in the
government really, but let’s focus on the Brexit Secretary, Dominic Raab. By
now you surely know the BREXIT SECRETARY – did I make the point? had not
until now “quite understood” the UK’s reliance on the Dover-Calais crossing for
goods traded between the UK and the EU. Not joking here! Did the man know we
are an island? And tomatoes from Spain are dropped into supermarkets from the
Hand the man a map!!! “France? We can see France???!!! Surely the US is
closer. We have to do all that trading with them don’t we? And those toxic
chickens need to stay fresh, don’t they? Huh? And Northern Ireland is in Ireland
and Ireland is an island? Really? Is Wales? “
Lest we forget, the Tories didn’t know Northern Ireland existed, did they?
Seriously. They didn’t!
A few other ‘facts’: Brexiter MP Nadine Dorries had to ask what a Customs
Union was and that was only last year! When it was explained to her, she
decided that it sounded too complicated for her small brain to compute and
came to the immediate conclusion that Britain should leave. Again. Not joking.
More? Andrew Bridgen announced once he had heard of Ireland that English
people were entitled to Irish passports. No, really. More. Nearly every Brexiteer,
example John Redwood, thinks that the UK currently conducts its non-EU trade
on WTO terms. And these idiots are about to destroy the country – oh and let’s
not forget Ireland. You may have missed the Theresa just handed Arlene
(Foster) another £1 billion! The ludicrous insanity continues – and we are
A senior member of the (ERG) European Research Group (those zealous
Brexiteeer Tory MPs) has been urging MPs to buy microwaves for their
parliamentary offices to stop hi-tech surveillance during sensitive meetings.
Naturally these are Remainers and - ohhh - foreign spooks doing the snooping.
Let’s hope they don’t turn it on. What are the chances? No prize given for
guessing that answer.
Jo Johnson! Yes!!!
Ours is Not to Reason Why
Must we do this again? Again? Americans don’t know about the NHS, they don’t
know who Theresa is, they only know that we have a Queen and their usual
question? Oh you know what it is. “Have you had tea with the Queen?”
390 mass killings in this year. Toddlers killing with their parents’ guns - more
killed than by ‘terrorists’
SO! WHY???!!! Oh let me repeat that: WHY???!!! has the media covered the US
elections literally all day and night for days and nights and STILL ARE!!!! Who
cares? Do you really know – personally? – have you had a coffee with the
candidate? Must we become personally familiar with every single candidate?
Surely you know they are recounting ballots in Florida? And tell me why this is
breaking news? No. really.
Oh give it a rest! STOP!!! And god forbid we would miss a moment of American
news. California shooting interspersed with Baby Trump. They kill each other.
They shoot each other – every day, all day, all night. Soon we will be referring to
Baby Trump as OUR president Baby Trump. STOP!!! Phew. That’s rant is over.
Pity it will be totally ineffectual.
‘WEEPING POPPIES’ weeping….11.11.18