LETTERS FROM LONDON
REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
24 September 2012
On Your Bike

What! Ex-Waity off the front pages for all of 5 minutes? There is a god.
Aspiring toff replaced by the toff Tory Government’s Chief Whip toff Tory
Andrew Mitchell.

When told he couldn't cycle out of the main Downing Street gates, Mitchell's
response was rather typical of the government. AM shouted in a 2 minute
tirade: “Open this gate, I’m the Chief Whip. I’m telling you - I’m the Chief Whip
and I’m coming through these gates. Best you learn your fucking place. You
don’t run this fucking government. You’re fucking plebs." His 'do you know who
I am' assault was on those paid to protect him - from himself? In 2004 he
became shadow home office minister responsible for the police. Really.

Poor AM was forced to wheel his bicycle rather than ride it through the
Downing Street gates last week like a lowly commoner, a pleb, the hired help.
This the minister whose duty it is to impose discipline on the Tory party. Really.

Urban Dictionary definition of pleb: 'Short for plebian, derived from the period
of the Ancient Romans. The plebeians were the general body of Roman citizens
and those who were privileged were labelled patricians. Nowadays, a pleb is
one associated with those in the lower class. They often lack integrity and
sophistication, while many people who consider themselves modern-day
patricians often look down and mock them. Other words with similar meaning:
Scrut, Townie, Kappa-Slapper, Rude-Boi, Scum, Greb, Scav, &c.' Or in this
case, 'moron' - also shouted by AM.

After going into hiding at one of his three houses, AM resurfaced to attempt a
quasi-mea cupa. Not quite. AM: "While I do not accept that I used the words
that have been reported, I accept I did not treat the police with the respect they
deserve." But no 'I'm sorry' video a la Nick Clegg then. What a pity.

The chairman of the Metropolitan police federation, John Tully, has called on
Mitchell to resign “as quickly as possible”. Rank and file officers backed their
humiliated colleagues.  AM's friends, who weren't present, reported he never
uttered those words - morons or plebs - nothing about f******.

There is a general consensus that he should go - not just because of his
demeaning outburst, but because he is lying and calling the police liars.
Hmmm. Who to believe. The official verbatim police report or the toff? Time for
a lip-reader to review the CCTV?


Get Dressed

Vivienne Westwood is determined to get people dressing as they should -
expressing themselves. Now wouldn't that make life more fun.

During London Fashion Week we're told these are the trends we're going to
wear: military, minimal, chains, crochet, lace, leather, neon, florals, baroque,
bows, patterns, romantic, embroidered, appliquéd, ad inf.

Fashion has gone the way of everything else; boring. Even men have
exchanged their colourful, bright stripey and plaid shirts for white shirts.
Boring? Beyond.

London is the world's centre for being the most avant garde, innovative,
creative, so for god's sake, let's wear it. Express yourself.
Contact Us
Contact Us