LETTERS FROM LONDON
REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
23 July 2013
Oh Boy!

47% of Brits are interested, aware, curious, but not as frenzied as the press.
One gentleman interviewed said that he was aware of something going on
around the corner. All that Machiavellian manipulation from the Middletons and
the baby probably won’t be on the throne for another 80 years from now – if at
all. And yes. They’ll all be dead. Ex-Waity wanted a boy. Proper feminist. And
we know what Ex-W wants, Ex-W gets.

The birth of a baby is customarily a wonderful event, but what is always curious
is how everyone takes it so personally. I don’t want to name names, (well I do,
but I’m trying not to) the pundits desperately offering up their intimate
knowledge of the couple as if they shared a bed with the them, the public
desperate to be included as if they were family and stood outside the bedroom
door. “It will be a boy because my first was late and he was a boy.” Oh god.
That simply doesn’t make it true of the approximately 400,000 babies born
today in the world, but not in a £10,000 a day room.

Sorry. Just not all frantically fascinated in this privileged baby as the media is
doing it for us. Almost all scheduled programming was axed in favour of
presenters offering up rolling tedium and known fact for hours...hours. I almost
found
Undercover Boss engaging. Head of Southwark Council picks up
rubbish. Not exactly mesmerizing, but at least it was a relief from the same ten
sentences repeated with mind-numbing enthusiasm. We have ‘special’
programmes to view promising to send us into a temporary coma on all TV
channels – providing we want to relive the event already.

At this very moment surely the marketing Middletons are creating essential
royal baby party favours. Do they flog tea towels?


Blood Bath

The Tories sold off the NHS owned company, PRUK, which has been supplying
safe blood plasma to us. Bain Capital, which also owns Domino’s Pizza, Burger
King, Dunkin’ Donuts, etc. bought it. No. Really. I’m not making it up – but I
surely wish I were. Founded by none other than Mitt Romney. Remember him?

Polly Toynbee of
The Guardian: “Alarming footnote: I rang the Department of
Health press office to find out more, but instead of returning my call I was
outsourced – I got a call from Bain's PR company instead.”

You just know where all this is going – other than profits into the pockets of the
American stockholders - and you just know you don’t want to ever require a
transfusion. I wonder if blood donors are given donuts afterwards.  Boston
Kreme, Glazed or Blueberry Cake?


Where's There Smoke, There's Fire

PM CallMeDave should consider stand up. He is a right laugh. Not really. Just a
right liar.

He refused to answer Andrew Marr when questioned on BBC1 three times if he
had been lobbied by his equally slick, smarmy election strategist, Australian
Lynton Crosby. It was one of those “I did not have sex with that woman” sort of
statement. When pressed to actually say whether he had discussed the issue,
he said: "You have had the answer you are getting." Is that your class showing,
Dave, because it surely isn’t classy.

Dave. We know you did. We know Crosby’s lobbying firm which has worked
for Philip Morris ‘came to a decision’ that plain cigarette packaging was a no
go. Even though it has been a success in his homeland. Did the boys simply
write notes, email, use sign language, yachting flags, eye blinking?

Goodness me. Moving on from the tobacco industry, now it’s the NHS that
Crosby has been not influencing.
The Guardian published leaked documents
revealing that his firm actually advised private healthcare providers on how to –
take a deep breath here – exploit perceived failings in the NHS to insure total
privatisation. How low does this guy go? Lower.

Now ex-PR man CMD is using porn prevention on the internet as a deflection
from what he and Crosby are doing to win the next election. Yesterday it was
gay marriage. Today it’s immigration. Crosby’s stratagem couldn’t be more
obvious if every person in Britain had been handed his plan in a plain
packaged cigarette pack imported from Australia.
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