LETTERS FROM LONDON
REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
28 September 2019
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Off With His Hair

Beyond “oh dear, oh dear” it’s more YIKES! When even the FT is calling for Al
to be dragged by the hair out of No10, it is serious. Calling for his resignation
the normally staid Financial Times has evidently broken with many years of
tradition. Ready? “This ruling leaves a stain on his character and competence,”
the paper says in its editorial. “Faced with such a damning judgment, any
premier with a shred of respect for British democracy and the responsibilities of
his office would resign.” Repeat. YIKES!

Loads of “Off with his hair! Oops. Head!” Except for – give it a guess – Moggy.
Commons leader, Jacob Rees-Mogg has said that the judges’ decision was no
less than a “constitutional coup.” No comment necessary here really. OK. The
19th century throw-back continues to perform as a supercilious idiot. And
naturally Boris said he thought the ruling wrong. Really? And the Queen, Al?
Beth Rigby tweeted: “In case you are wondering, I hear that the prime minister
is absolutely furious about all of this.” Furious? Nothing new there with his
now
infamous temper
. And we all know about Al’s response to the horrible murder of
Labour MP Remainer Jo Cox: “…
humbug…” said to her friend. He then went on
to claim that the best way to honour her memory would be to deliver Brexit.
Blimey! Is all that bleaching of that hair affecting his small brain?

Attempting to break the record, Al? He would have to stay in office more than
119 as George Canning died in office in 1827 from pneumonia. Counting, Al?
He only needs to continue as PM until 20 November. The bookmakers have
reduced the odds on Al being replaced as PM this year. Damn. “
We are
enjoying this
, we are going to leave and we are going to win.” The chilling
creepy Cummings told guests at the book launch.

However, Hail Lady Hale!!!

Blond Besties

Hmm. So Al’s very, very “close friend” American Jennifer Arcuri has suddenly
changed the registered UK address of her company. From a block of flats in
Macclesfield to a prime property on London’s Fleet Street. Hmm. Hacker
House's new London address is a “virtual office” on Fleet Street above an M&S
takeaway food shop. Perfect. And calls to the phone number were answered by
a woman with an American accent who said they were based in California. This
of course is in response to MPs questioning
that friendly £100,000 taxpayer-
funded grant from the government to her friendly company, Hacker House.

Friends of the former model turned technology entrepreneur have told The Mail
that Boris' visits to her flat were to
seek lessons on how to use technology. Hmm.
And what kind of technology was that then, Al? They have described Boris as
“one of her best friends”. Evidently their ‘friendship’ was “an open secret”. But
we do know he used to visit her top-floor flat – erm – regularly where he could
use her pole-dancing pole – in her living room. Arghhh! Pole not poll. Quickly
delete that image – featuring either one!

An investigation by The Sunday Times found that she was given £126,000 in
total and special access to three official overseas trade missions led by Boris. It
claims Jennifer was given “preferential treatment” joining him on three in the
space of a year
despite not meeting the eligibility criteria. And the BBC’s
response then? Nothing to report. The Guardian says Boris was “bound by a
Greater London Authority (GLA)
code of conduct to declare any private
interests” and “also banned from providing undue benefits to friends”. The
Sunday Times has also said that Jennifer has been lauded as one of the
industry’s movers and shakers”. Is that a pole reference then?

Oh and it is reported that another business belonging to Jennifer, Innotech, first
received £10,000 in sponsorship from London & Partners, the mayor’s
promotional agency, in 2013.
Annddd, a further £15,000 in 2014. So how long
will Al be another Teflon politician then?  He did refuse to answer six times about
his ‘friendship’ with Jennifer. Six. So far.

Al. Two weeks and they are counting down. Deadline looming. London Assembly
coming after you. Al has to prove details and a timeline of his ‘friendly-cash’
contact with Jennifer. If he refuses to respond he can be summoned before the
committee for – erm – questioning. Surrender…
surrender… surrender…
surrender… surrender… surrender
… your words Al. Fifteen times in one
session. So. Surrender, Al.

Tory Party chairman James Cleverly has hinted that it was the job of Parliament
to hold the prime minister to account, not the London Assembly. Nevertheless,
refusing to comply could see Al formally summoned by City Hall and in breach
of the law. Indeed.

“Aughhhhh Jerrremmyyy  Coooorrrbbbynnnn”

“Vote for us and we’ll then decide how we feel about Brexit.” Now what could be
wrong here?
Could they make more of a mess out of this? INCREDIBLE! Labour
winning the election? Hahahahahahahaha, ad inf. And how did we end up with
that nauseating, embarrassing, cringe-making “Ohhhh Jerrremmy
Corrrrbynnn…”?

And that  – erm – vote! “Now raise your hands if you love Jeremy and his rabid
Brexit stand.” Jeremy wins. Remainers lose. And how did we arrive at that
decision? Clearly sans ballots. That show of hands was too close not to warrant
a formally counted card vote. Clearly a staged victory for Oh Jeremy Corbyn.
Sometimes the Labour party resembles a fascistic party. Just saying – the
obvious.

As we unfortunately know, Chair Wendy Nichols managed to tell the room that it
had been carried, and then that it hadn’t been carried, while Jennie Formby,
sitting next to her, told it had gone the other way. So she changed it. Really?
Really! Delegates left, seething.
Simply seething isn’t enough. Calls for a ‘card
vote’ was totally ineffectual. Shouldn’t they have walked out together with one
hand raised?

Oh and lest we forget, rather like Oh Jeremy Corbyn, he DID know what he says
he didn’t. He has had discussions with the appalling Lansman in regards to the
Tom Watson coup attempt.
DAYS of adamant lies from Jezza. All that rubbish
about how Jezza is so ethical and honourable. Not so much as it turns out.

Hmm. Jezza doesn’t like being questioned, does he? He told journalist covering
Labour’s policies at the conference that their behaviour was “unacceptable.”
What? In following him around trying to ask him questions? Questioning our little
1972 circa dictator. Surely not. Rude is nothing new regarding Jezza certainly.

Nor does Len (McCluskey) like questions. Quelle surprise. “Brexit? We are not
saying so stop asking!” What Lansman really did was – oh dear – wagged his
finger at trusted Sky reported, Beth Rigby while saying she should “stop telling
lies!...you should be ashamed of yourself” - for being a reporter? You just
couldn’t make it up – unless you were writing a scathing parody of a farce.

As we know one of JC’s closest aides resigned. Andrew Fisher, head of policy
needs to “spend more time with his family”. Oh that one. However, he did
denounce JC’s team for “their lack of professionalism, competence and –
human decency.” He was sick of the “blizzard of lies and excuses.” And he
certainly should know!

Having a Lie In

Oh really. Did Harry reeeeeallyyy actually say some days he was so weighed
down by climate change,
he couldn’t get out of bed? Surely not the bed on one
of his private jet flights? Or one where he is given tea in bed every morning by
one of his innumerable staff. Lest we forget he and MM have 32 accompanying
them on their latest save-the-planet trip. Yes we know Hypocrite Harry
complained he was “overwhelmed” by too many problems in the world. Ah.
Surely the only one.

And oh dear. Must we include MM as well? You know, “I am here as a mother,
as a wife, as a woman of colour, and as your sister”. ‘I had to leave one of my
£12,000 dresses at home. And my £5,000 earrings! My new American PR guru
made me. I am not happy as a mother, as a wife, as a woman of colour, and as
your sister!’
                 
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