LETTERS FROM LONDON
REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
17 September 2012
Off With Their Heads

Now I don't want to be cynical here, well actually I do - but all this palaver
regarding Ex-Waity topless has gone a bit mad. Sympathy for the devil, I mean
duchess? All whipped up by those behind the royal brand to elicit empathy? 'Oh
poor Kate...not a foot wrong...acting with dignity...just like Diana...I'll protect my
Kate', ad nauseum. Never practiced or robotic then.

Unrelenting perfectly-staged photo opportunities for hair flicking, Ex-Waity's
command to have control over the pictures of her...oh dear oh dear...what's an
exhibitionist to do.

Solomon Islanders greet W&W face to face with naked breasts. You just can't
make it up. Ex-W was photographed holding a carved wooden sculpture - and
yes, with noticeable breasts. Ex-W smiled a knowing smile, but then, when isn't
she?

Wills has brought in the big guns to sue the pants off all of France. Not a direct
threat of war, but stranger things have happened. Wills had gone from sad to
incandescent within hours. No 'Lawyers for You' for the prince, even though he
was certain to win his case. The palace has reminded us that this outrage, this
horror that surpasses all world events including babies slaughtered in Syria has
"set the clock back 15 years...reminiscent of the worse [sic] excesses of the
press paparazzi". Now you know.

Admittedly W&W deserve their privacy, but not because they are so privileged.
Unlike us, who are on CCTV all day every day and we have nowhere to hide,
they certainly haven't been avoiding the press. Courting it really. How interested
is the public really and how much is the press leading us like pliant sycophantic
sheep? When I buy my newspaper and lottery ticket, the counter is covered
completely, literally with that ubiquitous smile on every magazine cover. The
experience does not make me smile.

The US press is even more obsessed with the possibility of Ex-W being
pregnant. She is...she definitely is. Hands crossed over her tummy, bigger
breasts, mentioning the future two mandatory heirs. Will it put an end to her
anorexic image? When she finally seals the deal I'm going to have to leave the
country or put myself into a self-induced coma. A press nightmare looming.

Publisher Richard Desmond is planning to close down the
Irish Daily Star after
it printed those topless snaps. He has already suspended editor Michael
O'Kane. Desmond: "There can be no motivation for this action other than
greed." He's worth £950m if you were curious.

Dodgy Desmond also owns
OK!, New!, the Daily Star, the Daily Express,
celebrity mags plus tabloids as well as adult TV channels
Television X and Red
Hot TV
. His company brought Penthouse to the UK, something to be proud of,
but sold his
Asian Babes to clean up his image as a soft-porn king in his
attempt to buy the
Daily Telegraph and impress the royal family. His channel 5
will show a programme: 'Wills and Kate: Baby Fever. The possibility of the royal
couple having a child. Classy.

Wills wants every person who took, touched, printed, reviewed, viewed those
photos to be put in prison immediately. Shades of royal entitlement?

Could we just keep Diana out of this. 'Chalk and cheese' doesn't even come
close.
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