LETTERS FROM LONDON
REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
24 June 2016
Not in My Name

“We can take back control now.” Right. We now have free reign to pollute,
ignore human rights, create more extreme austerity, demand the return of all
those foreign-owned properties/utilities/companies, witness the French pulling
out of the Le Tourquet Treaty (ie; the Calais border). Oh wait. We don’t want that
do we? Oh those French.

We can finally end our dependency on specialists, surgeons, doctors, nurses,
carers and let’s not forget funding for the arts – who needs the arts or cutting-
edge research, science, technology? We don’t. British film industry support and
co-production? Who needs it when you have plotless pointless mindless US
blockbusters? Consumer rights? Why? We have John Lewis. Workers’ rights?
Why protect all those foreigners? Roaming rates increased again? We won’t be
going to Europe anyway. Too many migrants. We’re finally free of the two per
cent EU directives forced upon us.

We can tackle massive obesity by giving the obese those highly-prized jobs like
fruit and veggie picking. We can wave goodbye to the banks and the bankers.
London as the financial capital of the world? So yesterday. Staycations for all
now that we won’t be eligible for reciprocal health care with that nasty Europe.
Goodbye Scotland, goodbye Northern Ireland and oh yes, why not Wales.
Whew. No more of those non-white-skinned-lazy-benefit-seeking-war-torn-
fleeing immigrants. Raise your English flag. It’s back to the good old days. Let’s
reopen the mines.

Gutted? Bereft? Distraught? Hmmm. Livid? Yes. Incandescent? Yes.
Embarrassed? Yes. What an impressive display of self-serving-self-interest.
Well done, Dave. A fair, tolerant, caring, generous, pragmatic country? No
longer. United Kingdom? No longer. Fifth most powerful economy on the planet?
No longer. The financial centre of the world. No longer. Welcome to Little Britain.

As the results rolled in the pound tumbled to its lowest level against the dollar
since 1985. £124 billion wiped off the value of the markets.

Euphoric Nigel announced Brexit had achieved success "without a single bullet
being fired". Right. And Jo Cox? Oh right. It was three bullets. Words fail – but I’
ll try: what a truly, utterly, despicable, vile little cartoonish man. Are those
squeals of delight from The Don? Putin? Le Pen? Oh, let’s invite them over for a
fag and a beer with Nige. Oh oops. We can’t; they’re foreign aren’t they? Nigel
has called for June 23 to be a Bank Holiday every year to celebrate Brexit. Now
I am without words – that are printable.

So I’ll let Mirror journalist Kevin Maguire say it: “Instead the suicidal decision will
be a poorer, meaner, nastier Britain with Tory charlatans Boris Johnson and
Michael Gove reverting to austerity. Conservatives who don’t give a stuff for
ordinary families. I’ve lost my country and the referendum result is irreversible.”

Dave hands over the crown to a Brexit fanatic in October. Boris has stepped up
having had his hair newly bleached and styled like a 50’s bathing cap - or a
child. Former Labour MP Margaret Hodge has called for a motion of no
confidence for charismatic Corbyn. He worked so hard to remind the voters
what a total mess the EU is. Another campaign has started to make London
independent. Now there’s an excellent suggestion. Oh except for Brexit Barking,
Bexley, Dagenham, Havering, Hillingdon and Sutton.
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