|LETTERS FROM LONDON
|REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
25 July 2012
|'No Chips But Ours'
So much for the Olympic intention of promoting peace, participation and
internationalism through sport. LOL here. It's a massive trade fair for PM
CallMeDave and a lucrative showcase for the corporations (having added an
impressive 10% to the total costs). It's the money-mad Olympics for those with
the power and the money.
Police state? According to Bruce Springsteen's guitarist, Stevie Van Zandt, who
tweeted after the power was pulled at their Hyde Park concert with Sir Paul
McCartney at the end of the gig: "One of the great gigs ever in my opinion. But
seriously, when did England become a police state?..." Kettle - black? SVZ
would surely be able to convince himself further with the introduction of the
'brand police', not to mention at least 18,2000 armed forces on the streets, on
roof tops, at airports, drones in the skies, missiles on tower blocks.
Torture for those who form sausages, flowers, bagels into any recognizable
reference to the Olympic rings or capitalise on those capitalising. It's clearly a
hijacking of the Games by the multi-national tax-resistant corporations and the
government that supplicates itself to their global power, ie; their friends and
potential job offers. Flouting the law by undermining non-British McDonald's,
P&G, Visa, Dow, Samsung, Panasonic, Cadbury, Coca-Cola, etc could result
in court action and a £20,000 fine. Naturally the Middletons must cash-in by
aligning themselves with the 'big boys' by offering loads of tat to 'Celebrate The
Games'. Could one of their £2.49 ring toss games in the Olympic colours have
them sharing a prison cell? Have fun would that be.
Keep in mind any combination of words from List A: Games, 2012, Two
Thousand Twelve, Twenty-Twelve and List B: London, sponsors, summer,
medals, gold, silver, bronze could have you spending time in jail with the
Middletons where we could wear ‘hilarious’ novelty 2012 Union Jack-covered
sunglasses while singing German beer songs with your £7.99 inflatable beer
mug drinks holder. Scary.
A few facts: Australia's men's basketball team flew business class, while the
inferior women's team flew economy - not even economy plus on a 17 hour
flight. The women's team has won silver three times, the superior men - none,
ever. Not to be outperformed, Japan's women's football team were crushed into
economy while the men's team stretched, slept, ate recognisable food and
snacks in business class.
5000 Coca-Cola employees will lift (and carry?) 100 cases of those precious
bottles per day to serve 23 million drinks. If not satisfied ingesting that dross
Harvey Nichols is offering a Coca-Cola Olympic Games Limited Edition Gift Set
for £30: a tin hides 2 coke bottles and a drinking glass. Surely a must have for
the mantle. McDonald's biggest most inviting restaurant will seat and serve
1,500 in 30,000 sq ft shifting £3m worth of 'food', depending upon how sheep-
like people are. Not betting.
American cyclists winning gold will be able to stuff $100,000 down their lycra
shorts, $75,000 for silver, $50,000 for bronze. Their swimmers will be
incentivised by $75,000 and an additional $50,000 for a world record -
wrestlers $250,00, $50,000, $25,000...wrestlers? Royal Mail has promised to
paint the winners' home town postboxes in the medal colour they win. Who says
the Olympics is about money....
Ooh let's just bring back the Olympic sport of poodle-clipping - 1900 Paris
Games when winners received paintings instead of gold medals (or cash in
hand). They were thought to be more valuable.