LETTERS FROM LONDON
REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
25 January 2013
Mouthing Off

Is it in the bottled water, is it governmentally lead mind control, is it celebrity
adulation or are the rich and famous and royals born that way? No
self-awareness or is it self-absorption?

Last week we had Beyonce so impressed with herself that she didn't bother to
sing at Obama's Inauguration. A reminder: "I now know that, yes, I am more
powerful than my mind can even digest and understand." Although not her
voice; she lip-synched screeching for the President.

Stella McCartney wants more. "I'd love to (design more Team GB), I'd do it
forever and ever. But I'd like us to host it again too..."

"When I watched it, to think those were the things I'd designed (no team effort
then) was just too huge and surreal. I was a bit like 'oh look, she's got my jacket
on!!!' when they were on the podium though."

Find her latest for Adidas, but why bother.

"The idea of exercise is always great, but you need to get yourself over the
hurdle and out of the house, and it does definitely help if you can put on a bit of
a look.

I was so over that feeling of being ashamed of bumping into someone you know
while you're out running. When I go for a run, I want to feel that if I bump into
someone, I can be proud of the way I look." Oh dear. Wrong on so many levels.

Let's see. Beyonce is best friends with Gwyneth, Gwyneth is best friends with
Stella...those of like minds or lack of....


An Officer But Not a Gentleman

Perhaps Harry the Helicopter Hero should experience life as a 'normal' person.
One who makes their own tea for example. It has been reported that he often
expects other soldiers to fulfil that duty/request. 'Oh come on now lads. You
know how exhausting royal responsibilities are - don't you?'

He could continue to be a royal moaner/blamer, but a bit of perspective would
add some character - perhaps - not.

Harry tenaciously loathes the media. He feels entitled enough that he is above
any recording of his activities in the world. A pity it was the internet 'what done
it' - his latest naked romp.

'Captain Wales' may have confused his Xbox with the massacre of those
marauding terrorists - or illiterate farmers, women, children, wandering animals.
He reckons his FIFA13 made him a more effective pilot and gunner.

"If there's people trying to do bad stuff, then we'll take them out of the game".
The Firm stopped him before he added any details. He has "done things you
would be expected to do" as a soldier serving in a combat zone; kill. Thank god
no body part trophies. It is his job, but he also has another one which he forgot;
royal lineage.

A Taliban spokesman described Harry as a coward. "We have always wanted
to capture or kill this prince, but he was mostly kept inside, safe, and in
guarded places underground."

While obviously charming, fun, posh and privileged - he's unedited. It has been
said that he can't move up the chain of command because he isn't clever,
intelligent, educated enough.

We all know he doesn't have the ability to see consequences of his actions: the
Nazi uniform, frolicking naked with unknown 'friends', drugs and drinking - the
usual toff leisure activities - the usual royal pursuits. His excuse for his
exhibitionism was 'letting off steam'. Really? When your main objective is to kill
people? Simply silly - or stupid.
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