|LETTERS FROM LONDON
|REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
13 December 2019
|In Mourning this Morning - and Livid
So this is what idiots voted for.
All there is to say is: welcome to the dictatorship annnnd a pox on all their
houses annnnd let’s single out the disastrous Jezza while not forgetting Jon
Lansman and Len McCluskey. Oh those men of honour. And Dom Cummings?
Here to stay. And Dom Raab? It’s over. A moment to smile, but only one. And –
no really - it’s ALL over!!! Great Britain is over, but Brexit will just goandonand
onandonandononandonand onandonandonandonandonandonandonandon… Al
said: ‘Workers unite’! And they did. And! NO ‘staycations’ in those Boris voting
Alan Johnson said it all succinctly on ITV and we do reeeeallly miss him. At the
end of the day – what a day – Remain simply didn’t properly, with passion and
logic make their case, they didn’t question Brexiteers, call Boris on his daily lies,
unite enough. Not rabid Rottweilers like the Brexiteers. Jezza has mainly blamed
the media and Brexit. The Brexit position he held for decades and refused to
reveal himself? Just the usual arrogance, self-importance – interesting for a
Marxist – man of the people et al.
And our other blond? He’s ready for Little England. Rabid lobbyists, mega-
corporations, Donny himself ready to control and cash in: with a “massive trade
deal”. h e l p !
Hide nor Hair
But a little reminder of the utter idiocy of the utterly ignorant, stupid voters. Boris
flees and hides in the first available fridge. As you do. As an aide tells an ITV
reporter to “F*** off!” As you do…when you are two years of age. OK. Two and
a half. His aide also moved threateningly to block the reporter as he tried to
pursue Al to persuade him to talk on air.
To avoid a Good Morning Britain reporter who wanted to interview him live on the
programme with ITV’s Susanna Reid and Piers Morgan (I know) the day before
the voting, we now know what Boris did. He told a producer “I’ll be with you in a
second” before bolting into an industrial fridge full of milk bottles.
After delivering some doorstep milk, our brave PM produced an ‘oven-ready’
baked pie in Derby. And how much did we hate that phrase, eh Cummings?
More than we can say as there were sooooo many other worthy ones. All right.
We’ve had the cowardly creepy phone-pocketing incident. And seriously the
Jack Merritt’s death response. And 92,153 actually voted for him. ‘Dumb and
dumber’ doesn’t even apply as Al is not dumb, simply rabidly ruthless but those
who were anxious to have a dictatorship are – both.
Boris’ reaction to Andrew Neil’s BBC televised rebuke? He’s threatening he
would ‘look at abolishing the license-fee funding model’. Ah the maturity of a
gnat – and that is merely becoming optimistic. “The system of funding out of
effectively a general tax bears reflection. How long can you justify a system
whereby everybody who has a TV has to pay to fund a particular set of TV and
radio channels?” Ah. Al’s moment of retribution. Nice.
So Al assures us there will be masses of those Boris babies born to celebrate
‘The Boris Brexit Success’ and naturally they will be named Boris (– not Al, his
‘real’ name. OK Alexander.) regardless of gender. But there is a problem – I
know, there are soooo many! – but Al/Boris is – erm – misinformed as he
Al said: “Romance will bloom across the whole nation once we get Brexit done
(possibly by 2050?). There was [a baby boom] after the Olympics, as I
prophesised in a speech in 2012, it was quite amazing. There was a big baby
boom.” Hyperbolic? Never! Lying? Always!
NO! There wasn’t. Oops, Al. Confusing isn’t it at how much our ‘president’ has
become a Donny clone? He “prophesised”. Fact alert: the opposite! The
In 2012 there were 730,000 births in England and Wales, falling to 699,000 in
2013, down 4.3 per cent and in London the same. So, the year after the
Olympics there was actually the largest fall in the number of births in – ready?
38 years! Ohhhh Al. Over to you…
Oh dear oh deer – sorry, silly I know but so is this. An impressive 20ft Christmas
tree outside Broadcasting House was chopped up and carted away. Not re-
cycled, not donated to a charity - chopped! 20 feet! Chopped up into small
pieces. The van was too small to accommodate the tree. But little bits? Really? It
took two hours. BBC’s bizarre claims that it could have posed a 'security risk'
during the BBC's General Election coverage was their excuse. The tree stood
alone. It had only been adding to Christmas cheer for a week.
BBC News duty editor, Rob Davidovitz, said: “So the BBC Christmas tree is no
more. Too much of a security risk apparently for the election programme. It will
however be back after the election. Glad I'm not the one who has to glue it back
Yesterday a BBC spokesman would only say: “The tree has been removed due
to activity on the piazza this week and will be replaced soon.” Right. Superglue
at the ready.
Do They Know It’s Christmas
Housing charity Shelter says a child loses their home every eight minutes. 183
children per day. At least 135,000 children will be homeless and living in
temporary accommodation across Britain on Christmas day. The rate of child
homelessness is at its highest for 12 years. If the current pace continues, which
it surely will, 1,647 children will become homeless, 4,000 by 25 December. Not
‘do they know it’s Christmas?’- more do they know it’s the Tories – who are
answerable. Such as Sajid Javid who has just claimed homelessness is down by
almost a half, having “reached its peak in 2008 under the last Labour
Since the 2008 crash there has been an unprecedented period of stagnation in
living standards. House of Fraser made an operating loss of £54.6m in 2018-19,
and Debenhams has issued four profit warnings in the past two years and plans
to close 50 stores, both close to possible collapse. But. Harrods, Selfridges and
Harvey Nichols are turning over record profits, fuelled by a new kind of global
consumer; uber rich. In 2018 the global market for luxury goods was valued at
$1.2 trillion. Trillion. Oh, that richest 1 per cent own half of the world’s wealth.
They know it’s Christmas.
Tories’ Big Tent
Tents – pitched in London – and other cities – even outside Parliament, not that
any MPs would notice. Rebecca Prichard, director of Crisis (support services
for the homeless): “In ten years (she has been involved for thirty) I have worked
for central government as a specialist adviser on homelessness and rough
sleeping…we saw tents very occasionally…in rural areas…[now] I
In London rough sleeping hit a record with 8,855 between April 2018 and March
2019. An increase from 7,484 the previous year. 62 per cent for the first time. A
165 per cent increase across the country since 2010. Queues for Harrods?