14 September 2019
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Lying Down in a Dark Room

Oh Boris behind bars – or “do or die” or “dead in a ditch”? Any will do. Let’s
have a vote. Or - ask the Queen.

A former attorney general and the director of public prosecutions has said that
Al could be held in contempt of court and
sent to prison if he refuses to ask the
EU for an extension to Article 50 at the end of October. OK. Good so far. And
Al? He has repeatedly said he will not ask for an extension, that despite the
legislation requiring Al to do so by 19 October.

And the only ‘plan’? Al campaigning as ‘jack the lad’ to rally the peasants which
will presumably increase his popularity, which according to the polls at the
minute, is still ahead of ‘
Corbyn who?’ Has Labour noticed? According to the
YouGov poll the Tories took a 14-point lead!!! Over Labour. Conservatives 35% -
no change, Labour 21% - minus 4! Really? Really!

Nevertheless, a new poll suggests that a majority of people living in Northern
Ireland would vote to join the Republic of Ireland if there was a referendum. And
we know Scotland is ready to wave good-bye. Wales isn’t far behind with a
tentative-ish wave of 41%. Hmm.

Behind Closed Doors  

Oh Al. Does the man have an honest bone in his chubby body? Clearly not. So
what has he done now?
He has secretly ordered the Cabinet Office to turn the
government’s public internet service into a
platform for “targeted and
personalised information
” to be gathered in the run-up to Brexit. So this means
departments will share data they collect about usage of the GOV.UK portal so
that it can feed into ‘preparations’ for leaving at the end of October. Oh right.
Those preparations.Ha.

Al wrote: “I expect everyone to act immediately to execute the above actions.”
With any delays
to be reported to his office immediately. The dictator has
spoken. While Al’s brain, Cummings, has emailed senior officials instructing
them to make certain that ministers, department heads, and political aides all
know that the instruction is “TOP PRIORITY”, according to
leaked government
.  Oh. And his email to senior officials was sent on 28 August.

And we know Cummings is ‘adept’ at data manipulation. Remember back – oh
must we? - the pro-Brexit campaign’s success in the 2016 referendum which
was partly due to its use of digital technology to target messages. In an October
2016 post he wrote happily about the potential for
data to disrupt and transform
public services: “One of the many ways in which Whitehall and Downing Street
should be revolutionised is to integrate physicist-dominated data science in
decision making.” Scary enough?

The Mirror has found Cummings’ first boss Adam Dixon, who hired him to help
expand an airline in Russia. Huh? He “was obsessed with the Bolsheviks…and
ruthless seizure of power in 1917.” Фигня! Or whatever.

The government is running adverts on Facebook - and elsewhere - urging
people to “Get Ready for Brexit” by directing them to GOV.UK for more
information. As you would assume of the evil ones.

All at Sea

Yet another bridge fiasco for Al? He’s attempting it again. Al tells us it will “ONLY
cost £15-20 billion!” This time round it’s a 28 miles link to connect Scotland and
Ireland featuring WWII munitions. Sounding good. Larne in Ulster and
Portpatrick in Scotland. Any trees involved? Benches? Flowers?
A bridge too
Well, he did actually recognise that Ireland exists. Who told him? The
government didn’t as they didn’t recognise it either.

Channel 4 News is reporting they have seen documents revealing that both the
Treasury and Department for Transport have been asked for advice on the costs
and risks of the project.

And how could we not add to the farce without quoting Machiavellian ‘master
mind’ Cummings? At a meeting he said: “Northern Ireland
can fall into the
f***ing sea
as far as I am concerned.” Gosh. Well, that surely solves the
backstop problem doesn’t it? Clever Cummings.

Vote Out

With more than 200,000 people applying to be registered as UK voters within 72
hours, good so far, right? Uh oh. But possibly not. Are they fanatical Brexiteers,
hysterical Boris devotees?

Evidently, as a national newspaper claimed, Boris’
government had previously
set the date
of its planned election in the hope that students would not be able to
vote. Hmm. With, shockingly, the Conservatives ahead in the polls – how is that
possibly you surely ask – and many students acting like idiots and declaring
their pro-leave position –
what is the government afraid of exactly? Possibly
because twice as many registered within 48 hours when this story was reported.
Ha. The BBC reported that more than half of the 200,000 are 18 to 35.

About Face

Boris may be banned. Oh we wish from life, but it’s his old Oxford College Bailliol
that has plans to ban the blustering banal Boris. He is prevented from attending
any events or – goodness gracious me – or “from entering the grounds”! It gets
worse. Well, gets better actually.
No “depictions of or tributes to Boris Johnson,
such as portraits (oh please), should not be commissioned or displayed on
college premises.” Seriously, they are serious!

More: “His alumni status and any benefits that that may entail should be
suspended with immediate effect.” Gosh! They are calling his parliamentary
shutdown as “effectively a political coup…seriously undermining democracy in
the United Kingdom”.

In 2017 the students displayed a banner which called him “racist Boris”! - while
he was on the grounds. Are we having fun yet?

The Louche Lounges

“Absolute fraud!” Not only Al/Boris, but Moggy as well. I know, quelle surprise.
But the person who said it is a surprise. Sir Nicholas Soames, yes Churchill’s
grandson, now expelled added his view of the louche lounging Moggy.

He said Moggy’s behaviour was – oh dear – “repulsive”! “
I really wanted to kick
him firmly in the arse
and say, ‘What the hell do you think you are playing at?
Sit up!” Indeed.

And as for Al, Churchill’s grandson said Al is “nothing like Winston
Churchill…he is deeply unreliable.” Erm. Understatement here. Reliable liar we
know. Sir Nicholas also said Al was “disloyal”. Understatement here. “Boris is
only loyal to Boris. Boris had a cunning plan; this whole thing is gamed.” Quite,
Sir Nicholas.

Drama Queen

They’re baaaaackkkk…well they were only ‘gone’ when flying in all those private
jets. And what attention-grabbing have they chosen?
To snub the Queen. Oh
dear. MM really doesn’t get this royal bit does she? Or does she to create
Meghan media mania?

Harry&MM have reportedly snubbed the Queen's invite to holiday with her at
Balmoral. Goodness me. Not very nice is it? The reason given? No. Not her hair.
Ex-Waity has taken that excuse when needed. It was that Archie is still too
young to make the trip up to Scotland. What? Oh really.
You can do better than
that! Ibiza for a week and then to see Elton in France. Oh really. And, they are
off to that far away continent, Africa this month. Archie will be two weeks older.
The three are off to Angola 23 September to 2 October. Yes. That Angola. 4,468
miles possibly 10 hours in the air accompanied by 32 staff.

According to tradition, the Queen always asks her family to join her when she
heads to her Scottish estate for her two-month summer break. A source told The
Sun: “Harry and Meghan had no plans to go to Balmoral this summer as they felt
Archie was too young.
If they want privacy or protection (the other tediously
repeated excuse) there is no more protected or private holiday destination than
the Queen's Scottish home.”

Balmoral Castle has been a residency of the British royal family since 1852.

Dream Team

Next. We know about media mad MM’s latest declaration: “I want to break the
.” The same internet that has destroyed and irrevocably damaged society
according to the world’s leading eco-warrior Harry. Last year he was blaming it
for the increase in mental health problems in young people.

And how will she accomplish this? You must know she has hired NY Sunshine
Sachs, one of the US most prominent crisis management firms,
brought in
behind the back
of Buckingham Palace's own advisers. Oh. And now she has
her very own personal ‘Hollywood team’ consisting of an agent, lawyer and
enterprise supervisor who will probably be taking care of her ‘future career’.

Always best to go ‘larger than (silly royal) life’, but Sunshine Sachs has been
accused of employing '
dark arts' tactics to improve the image of its clients.
Gosh! Not the ‘dark arts’! Evidently Mr Sunshine manipulated everything thrown
at Harvey Weinstein. Who doesn’t love a man with ethics/morals/honour? Both

Staff reported that MM was “incredibly hands-on with the strategy. She is more
concerned about the US media than the British.” No! Really?
Who would have
guessed that

A senior royal insider said MM's decisions are “concerning the Palace” that her
own team has a big part in 'ongoing projects'. “It is clear she is wanting to keep
surrounding herself with her Hollywood people.
That wasn't the expectation."
Really? It was for everybody else. Expert British PR Mark Borkowski said “It’s
clear that the Duchess is making an attempt to ‘build a global brand’.

Another said: “But that's a dangerous precedent to set because there is a
reason why courtiers and advisers treat members of the Royal Family differently
they are not celebrities, they are publicly funded official figures with a formal
role.” Hmm. Not according to H&MM.

Mr Sunshine (do you suppose he chose that surname himself?): “We don’t play
it secure,
we’re not genteel. We title names and battle the media when now we
have to.” Such as? Modifying the biographical pages of his celebs on
Wikipedia. As you do. One consultant said: “It'll be hard to keep them in that box
once you've let them through the door.” Oops. Too late. They’re in.

One of her ‘big projects’ is her children’s book, which sources say
she already
thinks the book will be a hit
. Oh. Sunshine Sachs ‘directed’ her Vogue gig. A
source: “Even though it was the UK version of the mag, she wanted maximum
coverage in America, which is the country she really cares about in terms of the
media.” No worries. More to come. So much more. MM can’t stay out of the
media for more than the time it takes to walk up the stairway of a private jet.
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