|LETTERS FROM LONDON
|1. LADIES WHO LUNCH:
Curious choices wouldn’t you say? Camilla, who spends as little time as
possible with ‘her prince’ and shows up for charity events whenever the public
has assumed she’s dead, made a show of giving royal advice to Kate “he’s
lucky to have me” Middleton at the very public three Michelin-starred restaurant
in the Knightsbridge Berkeley Hotel.
Naturally Pippa also attended as well as Camilla’s daughter Laura plus gun-
carrying security officers. Carole Middleton must have been left at home to try
on party tiaras. The Firm had to cart Camilla in from her country house as they
certainly couldn’t trust Carole could they; she would have been too giddy and
possibly dribbling over her ultimate success to date.
Thirty years ago Camilla sat the very young Diana down to prepare her for her
royal life. “Now Diana darling. I will be sleeping with Charles the night before,
the night after your wedding and for ever really. Yes we will be having kinky
sex. Do you know what sex is my dear?”
As Kate flashed her engagement ring, the women apparently performed like
‘ladies who lunch’ and chatted with look-at-us-we’re-just-like-all-of-you normal
enthusiasm for three hours.
A fellow diner revealed to journalist Richard Kay: ‘All four women were talking
away like mad and none of the waiters could get a word in edgeways to serve
their lunch... I heard Camilla saying “if I can give you one bit of advice...” Kate
was really enjoying the moment. I did hear talk of trumpets and someone said
“we can’t have trumpets, the ceiling is too high’’, which may have been a
reference to Westminster Abbey. (Were they following an I’ve Got News for
You Paul Merton script?) They were all getting on very well and they clearly
hadn’t asked for an out-of-the-way table and nor did they attempt to lower their
voices... they followed that with talk of menus. I heard chipolatas, sausages on
sticks and mini pizzas, but I don’t know whether it was ironic or not...there was
one moment which was clearly meant to be amusing when Kate said “what
happens if William doesn’t turn up? (now that would be ironic) Someone else
then asked “is it going to be a sit-down lunch?’’ Aren’t they terribly amusing.
Photographers caught ‘I’m going to be queen and you’re not’ Kate in a ‘if looks
could kill’ moment...several times. Tut, tut. Don’t show Camilla.
|REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL