LETTERS FROM LONDON
REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
10 July 2013
Dismissing the Misses

British Wimbledon singles champion wiped from memory, Labour MP is a
“stupid woman”, women go to University to seize a husband. Oh it’s just those
tosser Tories revealing themselves again.

PM CallMeDave started Prime Minister’s Questions with the “first British player
to win Wimbledon for 77 years was a fantastic achievement”. Dumb-Dave had
no idea that Virginia Wade had won the title in 1977 when he was spinning a
knighthood for his boy Andy. Let’s keep him British, right Dave? Even if
AnyoneButEnglandAndy doesn’t want to.

Foreign Secretary William bed-sharing-with-his-aide Hague, muttered his
feelings regarding women when Labour MP Cathy Jamieson questioned
duplicitous Tory funding during the same session: “stupid woman” – three times
– if it was missed the first time. How stupid is that. How stupid is Hague. He
later referred to himself as a mutterer rather than a shouter. I can think of more
appropriate labels. Surprisingly CMD didn’t tell her to “calm down dear” as he
did in 2011 to Labour MP Angela Eagle. He didn’t say it to Hague either.

London Mayor Boris skilfully revealed his view of women. He proudly put his
foot in his mouth without noticing at the launch of the Islamic Economic Forum.
The topic was higher education in Muslim Malaysia were 68% of students are
women. “They’ve got to find men to marry.” Post-uni, Boris simply has
extramarital affairs and illegitimate children. Buffoon-Boris found himself quite
amusing. Delighted he does.


Look This Way

I'm not quite sure which was worse: Andrew no-win-no-fee-injury
'First4Lawyers’ Castle or John ‘nice-hair’ Inverdale commentating on the BBC.
Oh I am sure. It was the ‘looker’, the former one.

But listening to Andrew Castle at Wimbledon bordered on torture. I begged for
Boris to say five words, two words, one word. Mr First4Lawyers melodramatic
enthusiasm for ‘Anyone-but-England’ Murray was nauseating; his comments
were pathetically inane and unnecessarily annoying. I had hit the mute button
multiple times after the first two hours.

But listeners to BBC Radio Five Live were taken aback when ‘How do you like
my hair cut’ Inverdale mentioned that Wimbledon champion Marion Bartoli, who
had just won straight sets against Sabine Lisicki to clinch the Grand Slam title,
was “not a looker”.

“Do you think Bartoli’s dad told her when she was little 'You’re never going to be
a looker’? You’ll never be a Sharapova, so you have to be scrappy and fight”.

BBC apologised naturally. Inverdale tried to cover his tennis tracks with: “We
poked fun, in a nice way, about how she looks ... but Marion Bartoli is an
incredible role model.” What a f***ing wanker. Oh wait. That’s what Murray
calls himself.

Bartoli was finally asked about his sexist comments she said: "It doesn't matter,
honestly. I am not blonde, yes. That is a fact. Have I dreamt about having a
model contract? No. I'm sorry. But have I dreamed about winning Wimbledon?
Absolutely, yes." And she did.

FYI: Bartoli has a staggering IQ of 175 – making her in the top 0.0003% of the
world. Higher than that of Einstein or Hawking. Clearly Inverdale’s is well below
the average American at 98.

He should be sacked. Obviously. Or put in one.

Watching Press Preview on BBC Saturday night, it was noted that not one
Sunday newspaper put Bartoli on the front page. And who was featured with his
horrid angry-animal-grimace? Non other than the new and improved Brand
Murray. So not buying the calculated push to make him a British hero.

‘When sorry isn’t enough’ Castle: “Strength of character – again and again”.
Character is definitely not a term to describe the petulant, immature, boring,
boorish, churlish, dour, whinging, poor-me Murray. Perhaps Murray suffers
from an IQ deficit like Inverdale. He is without grace, without gravitas. Djokovic
has both. A pity the crowd failed to give the number one player proper
acknowledgment.

Possibly the average IQ is 75.


Divide and Conquer

What irony that Mohammed Morsi was unceremoniously removed from his
democratically elected position as president in Egypt because he made
independent decisions – totally disregarding what the majority of people wanted
and voted for. He was instituting the Muslim Brotherhood’s ideology. He was
removing the secular aspects that Egyptians expected.

Why isn’t that what PM CallMeDave is doing? Of course it is.

But he wasn’t elected. He’s operating ideologically while remaining
unaccountable. He is a law unto himself. Sound familiar? It should. He’s
accomplishing this while we sleep – sleep-walk through life.

Our boy Dave is PM with 23% of the votes. Morsi had more; he had 29%. Are
we certain this is a democracy and not a plutocracy? No one voted for this
privatisation of every possible service required to survive, no one suggested the
rich to be free to not pay proper taxes, no one requested the poor, disabled,
the disadvantaged, the children to be pillared, poorer and humiliated – but
apparently they did. Did you? Clearly the answer is ‘yes’ or you would
collectively be massing on the streets demanding representation, equal rights,
democracy. Not watching the news? Egypt? Not interesting except for Howard
Carter? Those pyramids? Mummies?

This government lies to us – over and over and over again. They lie about what
they are doing, how they are doing it and why they are doing it. They
manipulate facts and statistics. They supplicate themselves to US corporations.
Are you bothered? Not at all.

Let’s continue to keep out all creative talent and to blame all those illegal
immigrants – you know – the ones who pay taxes. Surely not the MPs fixing
their expenses again who are demanding another £10,000 – while not
promising not to continue doing their best to rip us off. Annoyed yet? Irritated?
Incensed? Infuriated? Irate? Oh come now. We are paying for their children’s
travel expenses. I say let them take the bus.

The Tories are busy, busy, busy taking away our human and civil rights.
Hmmm. Isn’t that a dictatorship? The Magna Carta. Hmmm. Doesn’t that have
something to do with the oh so talented (right) Jay Z? We already live under the
Stasi...and then there are the police....

It took 5,000 years for Egypt’s first democratically elected president; it took 18
days of public protest. We’ve settled for the Tories’ mantra: profits before
people. Oops. Peasants or is it plebs? Profits for the patricians surely.

Is anyone awake? Is anyone out there? Anyone? Annnnnnnyyyy – [voice trails
off until there is an empty silence].
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