LETTERS FROM LONDON
REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
25 February 2017
How Real is Real?

Taking a momentary break from The Orange-One, whew, we can ask how our
non-elected PM Theresa May has been presenting ‘false news’ lately. I know.
I'm bored already as well, but don’t we need to be reminded of her persistent
duplicity? No? Well, we do because she is now so popular. How is that possible?
Really. How?

No surprise that Theresa has been congratulating herself on giving councils
more money. Oh you just know she didn’t don’t you. Research reveals spending
in 'real terms' not ‘fake terms’ - more than £1billion has been removed for social
care. £1 billion. Is that Theresa patting herself on the back? “I am just soooo
good at this.”

From April look forward to more drastic cuts in bin collection, potholes, collecting
waste, children's centres, child protection services, the loss of trainee teachers
(41 per cent for design and technology to 95 percent for modern foreign
languages - pas de souci), parks, libraries – remember those? and leisure
centres – what are those?

Councils are desperate for new funds as they face a £5.8bn budget black hole
by 2020. Any good ‘real’ news? At the rate Theresa is dismantling and
destroying the British way of life, the Tories will not be re-elected. Oh, wait.
While Ukip is disintegrating – goodbye Nuts all (did you see what I did there?),
the Lib Dems aren’t really viable yet and – Labour? Where’s Labour? The Tory
candidate won the Cumbrian seat which had been under Labour since it formed
in 1983. 1983!  Labour! Wake up! You are the opposition party! Remember!?


Venez à Paris

The centre-left French candidate, Emannuel Macron, was in London to charm
and woe the 250,000 French voters living here, while they can. He invited any
Brits who want to become French to move to France. OK. They can move, but
as we know, only the legitimate French are ever considered to be legitimate
French. Lineage et al. He reminded Brits how he would not make Brexit
negotiations easy. Uh oh. Incentive to move?

Surely you know by now, Paris is determined to replace London as the financial
centre of the universe. Hmmm. Now that would mean nullifying all those rules that
rule life in France and you know that will never happen.

Nonetheless, Paris is set to build seven new skyscrapers to lure London bankers
to its business district. The plan? As much as 375,000 sq metres of office space
- think 50 football pitches - to be built by 2021 to “accommodate the new talent
coming to the city.” Shouldn’t someone inform Theresa? Oh let’s not. Better to
have a populous rebellion – but not in France….


Yawn

The new press favourite, our new favourite wanna-be, royal in this case,
Meghan Markle (yes you do know: Harry’s obsession) had more to say after her
Valentine’s Day instructions – I mean blog - with selected items featured to
‘please your man’ sort of revolting regressive ‘inspiration’ (I am quoting here as I
gag) “For Your Lovely Lady” – written in a sort of ‘flowery’ font.

Are we assuming by ‘Lady’ MM meant - erm – lady – ew – rather than a coveted
title? OK for some…. Ready? “When the air is filled with positive vibes, there’s
no winter cold that can block out the warmth of happy hearts.” Has MM been
picking up those cringe-making ‘positive vibes’ by hanging (out) in gift shops
reading greeting card messages?

A prolific social media user, MM is said to have scaled back leaving us all just so
happy, happy, happy the air is filled with those positive vibes.

Chained…Rhythm…Huh?

The Brit Awards. What can you say? Two and a half hours, massive audience,
innovative lighting and sets and… Little Mix - ludicrous outfits, Katy Perry –
huh?, Chris Martin – what the f*** ‘duets’ with beloved George Michael. Enough
said.
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