Letters From London
Humorous Views on London Culture, Royals, Gossip and Politics
Off with Her Head - 19 June 2010

Luvvie Dame Helen Mirren captivated her loyal American subjects on the David Letterman Show.
Presumably most of the audience believe she is the Queen…as does DHM herself. Everybody
who has a TV or reads the papers knows she traces her lineage to Russian aristocracy.
Yawning is appropriate here.

Her enthralled audience cheered and slapped each other on the backs and may have even blown
their vuvuzelas in response to her patriotic damning of BP and the England team while
uncharacteristically keeping her kit on throughout her appearance on the programme. Now
was a surprise.

DHM has lived in LA longer than the average dog’s life – at least 20 years and finally married  
American director Taylor Hackford in 1997 after beginning their relationship in 1983.
None of “That’s my man. He’s a movie star and I get to sleep with him every night!” as CBE
recipient, Welsh now American actress Catherine Zeta-Jones shrieked upon winning best
actress in a musical at the Tony awards. Way too much information.

DHM has countered with her royal wisdom regarding marriage as a professional relationship with
no romance. Sounds like a fun time.

DHM mouthing “moi, moi, moi” threw her arms out to the sound of thundering applause. “You like
me. You reeeeeeeeeeeealy, reeeeeeeeeeeealy like me!” She smiled seductively, appeared toe-
curlingly coy and fatuously flirtatious as she held court to promote her new film directed by her
husband, Love Ranch, about the famous brothel in Nevada or wherever which has had enough
publicity over the years to make Madonna weep from brand jealous and frustration. Enlightened
choice, DHM.

DHM had feared for her life if ‘
Britain’ had won the ‘soccer’ game.  “I almost wore a bullet proof
vest for god’s sake, Dave. It’s our game to win, Dave. Go USA. Go USA! I would have been so
embarrassed and mortified at being British that I think I would have had to cancel. I mean I don't
think I could have come on this show, Dave!”  But DHM. You aren’t British.