LETTERS FROM LONDON
REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
12 April 2014
Hair of the Dog

Oh those MPs are a naughty band of brothers. It has been revealed that they
have been at it not only in the toilets of Westminster, but in rented hotel suites
as well.

£2,500 a night rooms booked for the researchers and interns of our MPs at the
2011 Tory conference. Who paid? A rhetorical question. They even advertised
at a gay network. Clever those Tory tossers. The more the merrier surely.

A study now released found that 1/3 of researchers said they had been
subjected to harassment. Channel 4 News investigation named nearly 1/4 of
researchers from all parties had witnessed or heard about sex harassment.
Some 40% of men spoken to said they had received unwanted sexual advances
at ‘The Palace of Sexminster’ as it is known by those who know. Dozens of
young political aides have claimed to be on the receiving end of unwanted
advances from older men.

Goodness gracious me. The ‘good-old-boys’ late night drinking culture has
been found to include date rape drugs, drugs and obviously limitless drinking.

Tory official Iain Corby, who has now quit, sent messages via Grindr, a gay
dating app, to another man referring to ‘cute boys’...‘orgy’...'gay party’...‘hottie
MPs’ and ‘all in one bed’ said to be ‘on offer’ at the Tory conference. ‘Hottie'
MPs. Name one.

Gay rights campaigner Ben Summerskill said: “People are vulnerable as they’re
often political obsessives and have never worked anywhere else. For both
sexes the MP can say that if they oblige them, it might help their career
enormously. There’s no HR, no structure for people management or
supervision.” And we thought sex-for-success was the privilege of the casting
couch.

Channel 4 claimed one Tory MP recently expressed the view that those who
believe themselves to be victims of unwanted sexual advances should toughen
up – or as the MP put it: “Grow a pair.” How useful in the toilets of Westminster.


Hair I Am

Ex-Waity has been whipping up enthusiasm for Crown and Country in New
Zealand as well as whipping up her hair; her crowning glory...to some.

We’ve been privileged to have 24 hour total media coverage of her out and
about doing her walkabouts with her hair and heir. Now touted as the saviour of
children, devoted to all the children of the world “just like Diana”. OFGS. The
same devoted mother who left her 8 month old son with a brand new Spanish
nanny for a week? Hmmmm. She has been seen to poke at the babies, children
brought to her as if she were a royal monarch sitting on the throne granting
audiences to the deserving.

The Daily Mail has discovered that her rag-and-bone maternal heritage has
been eclipsed by a rock-breaking thief transported to Australia. (Lest we forget
Uncle Gary (Goldsmith) and his Ibiza questionable activities.) Even the new-and-
improved image with whitened teeth and a posher than posh accent can hide
what
The Daily Mail can dig up...as it does.

The workhouse, vagrancy, thieving, prison, transportation to Australia due to ‘a
notoriously bad character’. Ultimately three siblings can claim to be first
cousins five times removed to Prince George. Oh dear. Don’t tell Ex-Waity.
She'll disown them – or have them beheaded.

We will find out if the Aussies are frenzied royalists when W & Ex-W flog the
‘modern’ monarchy next week.

In New Zealand 15,000 out of 18,000 residents of Cambridge came out to
admire their namesake. One poor woman panicked when she realised she had
‘touched’ the ‘royal one’ and she said she shouldn’t have. I do despair.

Shouldn’t the PR arm of the Firm do a bit of work on Ex-W’s vacuous
platitudes? Cringe-worthy really. The commoner lacks the common touch. As
she would. Even Wills manages a bit of wit and amusement. Okay. Neither is
known to be the sharpest knife in the box but when the masses set up over-
night outside in the rain to “get as close as possible”, perhaps they deserve a
bit more than overly-styled hair flipping. “It's the greatest day of my life,” said a
73 year old.


Heir Hunters

Read at your own peril. So much psychological projection and desire to bond
with the royals you’ll need a cleansing tonic.

Common comments of commoners: “Oh he was born to be king”...”He’s so
bold”...“He’s taking command of the whole room”...“George is so advanced for
his age. He’s actually crawling”. No. ‘Advanced’ babies walk at this age. His
referred to as ‘affordable’ £75 dungarees sold out before he could take
command of another baby’s toy as a gesture of entitlement.

Sycophantic body language ‘expert’ Judi James, who has “followed the royal
family for over 30 years and I have been riveted by these images of George”, is
out to convince us that George was born to rule and is showing all the overt
confidence necessary. “George is after another child’s toy - typical of a
budding Alpha male.” Alpha male. Really now Judi. Alpha male? “Every
movement revealed a baby destined to be King.”

Is Judi an actual mother? He’s “sitting right in the middle of the group...Babies
love to play with their mum’s hair, and George’s gesture shows they have a
playful, tactile relationship.” A bit desperate here. What else can Judi read into
George’s aggressive behaviour?

Babies like toys, babies don’t share, babies like to pull hair, babies crave
attention. All born to be kings/queens then. Admittedly George seems rather
‘entitled’, but born to rule? Rule what exactly? There possibly may not be a
monarchy by the time George is ready and willing to act out his ‘alpha male’
role. Poor Judi. No title for her then.
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