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| Letters From London |
| Humorous Views on London Culture, Royals, Gossip and Politics |
Give it Back - 28 February 2009
“Sir Fred. So sorry, but could you please consider giving back a bit, even a tiny bit of your
pension for life. Please. Pleeeasssse.”
“Ha, ha, ha. Oh Alistair. Dear boy you are amusing. Bugger off.”
“Give it back!”
“No, Gordon. I won’t! You gave it to me! Get your own pension.”
“Alistair! Make him give it back! Now!”
“Sir Fred! I am serious! Stop! You’re hurting me! Oh blimey! Gordon, help! Get him off me. He’s
pulling out my eyebrows!”
“Now Alistair. You know those silly eyebrows were the brunt of jokes anyway. Bring him to his
knees. Come on. Ouch! Help! He came at me from my blind side. Sir Fred. You are hurting my
arm. Allissstaaairrrr! Hit him with something!”
“I want to go home. You’re on your own Gordie. We’ll never get the 16 million pounds back or
the knighthood and to tell the truth - you’ll be out of a job. Toodles.”
“Give up, Gordon. I am king of the playground. I win and I’m not giving it back and I am going to
live for ever! If you bully me again, I will gather together my ex-banker-hoodies and we’ll scare
you all the way to Dubai. Now look. You’ve made me mess up my hair.”
A member of Gordon’s International Business Advisory Council and Royal Bank of Scotland’s
former chief executive, voted the World’s Worst Banker of 2008, ‘Sir’ Fred (having been
rewarded with a knighthood for his excellence and brilliant services to banking) is putting his little
bespoke-shod foot down and he has taken his toys (ie, £13,000 a week for life RBS pension)
home with him. Fifty-year old Sir Fred is adamant about not giving a single 2p piece back to the
complicit Labour government. Sir Fred Goodwin – you just can’t make this stuff up – was sacked
last year when the bank has lost more than £24bn. His claim to fame, fortune and financial
rewards were the result of him losing the largest amount of money in UK corporate history.
Sir Fred the Shred – infamous for his slash and burn management method – may feel
disheartened when he discovers that his RBS’s counterpart in the US is rolling in £27,000 a week
after he left the bank – looted.
Worldwide currencies have collapsed, Eastern Europe is sliding into an abyss, the US is in
shock, but laissez-faire capitalism lives on and seemingly has no intention of being held
accountable, altering its self-serving ways. Where are the mutinous peasants?
“Sir Fred. So sorry, but could you please consider giving back a bit, even a tiny bit of your
pension for life. Please. Pleeeasssse.”
“Ha, ha, ha. Oh Alistair. Dear boy you are amusing. Bugger off.”
“Give it back!”
“No, Gordon. I won’t! You gave it to me! Get your own pension.”
“Alistair! Make him give it back! Now!”
“Sir Fred! I am serious! Stop! You’re hurting me! Oh blimey! Gordon, help! Get him off me. He’s
pulling out my eyebrows!”
“Now Alistair. You know those silly eyebrows were the brunt of jokes anyway. Bring him to his
knees. Come on. Ouch! Help! He came at me from my blind side. Sir Fred. You are hurting my
arm. Allissstaaairrrr! Hit him with something!”
“I want to go home. You’re on your own Gordie. We’ll never get the 16 million pounds back or
the knighthood and to tell the truth - you’ll be out of a job. Toodles.”
“Give up, Gordon. I am king of the playground. I win and I’m not giving it back and I am going to
live for ever! If you bully me again, I will gather together my ex-banker-hoodies and we’ll scare
you all the way to Dubai. Now look. You’ve made me mess up my hair.”
A member of Gordon’s International Business Advisory Council and Royal Bank of Scotland’s
former chief executive, voted the World’s Worst Banker of 2008, ‘Sir’ Fred (having been
rewarded with a knighthood for his excellence and brilliant services to banking) is putting his little
bespoke-shod foot down and he has taken his toys (ie, £13,000 a week for life RBS pension)
home with him. Fifty-year old Sir Fred is adamant about not giving a single 2p piece back to the
complicit Labour government. Sir Fred Goodwin – you just can’t make this stuff up – was sacked
last year when the bank has lost more than £24bn. His claim to fame, fortune and financial
rewards were the result of him losing the largest amount of money in UK corporate history.
Sir Fred the Shred – infamous for his slash and burn management method – may feel
disheartened when he discovers that his RBS’s counterpart in the US is rolling in £27,000 a week
after he left the bank – looted.
Worldwide currencies have collapsed, Eastern Europe is sliding into an abyss, the US is in
shock, but laissez-faire capitalism lives on and seemingly has no intention of being held
accountable, altering its self-serving ways. Where are the mutinous peasants?
