LETTERS FROM LONDON
REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
1 September 2012
Follow the Money

Bag, Borrow or Steal:

Plastic or paper. Why not both. Each will set you back £185 - or if short on
cash - £175 for a smaller version of the latter.

The Jil Sander 'Varsari' bag for her latest menswear collection, but surely can
be carried by a woman, has been selling out world-wide.

Transparent, bright orange, the Acetate Market Bag, Spring/Summer 2011
womenswear sold out last summer. Free of any annoying pockets - inside or
out - the plastic carrier bag has the logo stamped on a leather tag. Understated
don't you know. However the '100 per cent coated paper' bag begs for an
obvious logo or it might be mistaken for a lunch bag from home - and it has one.


My favourite bag is a gorgeous chartreuse plastic bag: 'Only at your M&S. All
of the profit from your 5p contribution helps to protect and save our precious
sea life, oceans and beaches'. So freeing not to be a fashion victim - and
cheaper.


The Big Boys Cash in:

Barclays has made £500 million in 2 years betting on food. Essential food
staples like soya, corn and wheat. Profits before global starvation. Cunningly
clever, that deceiver Bob Diamond. Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley are
playing with food as well: no surprise there.

With food prices at their highest in July, staples increasing at an
unprecedented 10% a month, corn and wheat up 25%, multinational commodity
trading company, Glencore, jubilantly reported it was a 'good' business
opportunity. Investors not farmers are having a field day.


Picture This:

Pippa plans parties that promise to pay off. Surely her fan base must be
drooling in the pudding at the very thought that they could get close and
personal with her in Pippa's new party planning book.

Pippa puts herself on the cover: Pippa playing frisbee. Pippa holding a bowl for
a small child. Pippa's pensive portrait. Pippa strangling ghosts or something
equally twee. Pippa riding a bike. What? No boring bum?

Six figures have been quoted. The publicity after hanging out with the decedent
French and the 'let's all get naked' Harry should be priceless. Lest we forget.
Pippa has requested her privileged privacy be respected; no paparazzi please.
Attending the launch of Ben Fogle's new book less than two weeks ago was by
chance then. His book is titled
Accidental Naturalist.

Considering her previous party hints, expect utter tosh.  No sick bag included.


Bloody Foreigners:

Foreign students contribute £12.5bn a year to UK economy. Higher education
is one of the UK’s largest and most rapidly growing sources of international
revenue. Time to stop all that. The Tories are swinging that ideological machete
again in their attempt to undermine the country.

They have decided to cut net immigration to 100,000 leaving 2,500 stranded
students of London Metropolitan University 60 days to make their way to the
airport and return home. Students about to take their bar exams for example.
By revoking the university's licence to sponsor visas entirely, it sends a
message that the UK does not want foreign students. Clearly the government
doesn't, but then neither does the BNP.


Working 9 to 5:

Working 9 to 5; what a way to make a living. Ex-Waity and Wills are off to the
South Pacific for a much needed holiday. All right. They are referring to it as
an official tour to mark the Queen's Diamond Jubilee. Ex-W & W have worked  
relentlessly watching the Paralympics and maintaining those fixed 'I'm on
camera and having a deliriously fun time' faces...and the required pointing.
Exhausting.

Ex-Waity is taking some of the Queen's jewellery including a favourite tiara.
Really? Tut tut. The Queen is known to be quite shrewd and surely she can
recognise a 'gold-digger' (the popular phrase given by the public) when she
sees one. Everybody else can and does.

Representing the Queen, paid for by us, they are off with 'two tickets to
paradise'. Red may be the new black, but I wonder if Ex-W & W will be taking
their matching red trainers. Scary.

PS Paralympics: 10,000 affected. Brain damaged, organ deformities, limbless,
dead. Thalidomide was developed by German pharmaceutical company
Grunenthal. Former Nazi member responsible for virus research at Krakow,
Heinrich Muckter invented it.  The company having had knowledge of the
devastating birth defects thalidomide would have, have finally expressed regret
50 years later after denial of liability - "Oops. We're very sorry" - but still not
culpability. They haven't apologised before because they "were in shock".
Really. Like the mothers who gave birth? Sinister
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