17 November 2013
F*** Me I'm A Feminist

Twerking, tongue-flaunting Miley Cyrus wants us to know: “I feel like I’m one of
the biggest feminists in the world because I tell women not to be scared of
anything (oh those swinging wrecking balls can be quite intimidating). There’s
no contradiction at all between being a feminist and taking your clothes off and
being comfortable about displaying your sexuality.” ‘Men love it.’

Miley wouldn’t know a feminist if she came up and bit her on the bum. Although
she has her dwarf-bum-shimmying-partner-in-porn to do that on that feminist

When you think of Lily Allen, you may not immediately think brain surgeon, but
brainless seems apt. Mother of two babies, fame through nepotism, singer –
wait – now that’s not fair. Digitally-enhanced singer.

The lyrics in her new four minute ironic video,
Hard Out There say it all: ‘Don’t
need to shake my arse for you because I’ve got a brain’. Now that is ironic.
She lets others shake theirs in your face. She’s far too clever. Or not.

With nearly naked mainly black arse-quivering-fuck-me video porn stars, I
mean backing dancers, obscenely reflected on a mirrored floor – oh, twice the
satire – LA thinks: “I think objectification of women is fine if I feel there is a
sense of ownership from the woman.” Objectification...ownership? Hmmm. Let
me give that a little think. A sense of ownership from the objectified women.
Hmmm. I ‘own’ myself. Is that based on her knowledge of the famous feminist
Our Body Ourselves (1971)? How does that work exactly? Can I sell
myself – for a music porn video then, objectively rather than subjectively?

She’s still thinking: “If it comes from somewhere else and it feels like the woman
is being coerced or forced into something, then it’s gross.” You mean the
music industry and the men that are in charge? Surely not. Women want to
splash champagne on their nearly naked personally-owned objectified bodies to
experience ownership. Right?

Now she has been accused of racism. LA first acknowledged she had chosen
the dancers, then she said she hadn’t.

LA uses liposuction, bananas – oh so radical, so edgy, and those lyrics....  And
all that spanking, splashing, simulated licking, writhing – just like every other for-
the-male-audience music video.

Female journalists seem to love this video. Lily draws attention to physical
changes as a result of childbirth. Quelle surprise. Who knew? They are
convinced this is modern, unparalleled, unique. Male journalists seem to see it
for what it surely is. They would though, wouldn’t they.

There were so many ways to do satire. The video fails on so many levels. LA
needs to understand the meaning of irony - and feminism. This is not ironic-
feminism. But it could be a moment of panic as Miley and Justin are getting all
that desperately-desired attention. So who’s winning then? Naked Miley, brothel
visiting Justin, thick Robin Thicke, deluded Lily. None of them really.

For the most part tall, fit, long-blonde-haired gorgeous bared-breasted
‘feminists’ are about to descend on the UK to promote feminism just in time for
Christmas. Father Christmas is not involved – thus far.

Where can you begin with this one? It’s just wrong. Displaying enticing breasts
in public places creates feminism. How exactly? Will a how-to brochure be
handed out to the ogling spectators?

With alarmingly ubiquitous misogynist porn, how will this method be successful
against the patriarchal planet? The argument falls into the feminist abyss every
time Femen’s leader, Ukrainian Inna Shevchenko, is interviewed.

She told several newspapers that the group will attack the UK’s ‘patriarchal
society’ by tackling issues such as prostitution, immigration laws, female genital
mutilation, Islamic extremism and British conservatism. She didn’t say how.

Shevchenko denied that nude protests turned women into sex objects. "Femen
does not show a smiling, passive body. Femen shows an aggressive,
screaming body, and as a result, we are destroying the trivial, sexist point of
view about naked women.” Not again; beautiful naked women miraculously
transform the misogynist world-view of women. Yawn.

She did admit that ‘Barbie-like’ women were sometimes used to make a point.
Barbie [is] fighting against everything that is making her plastic.” Huh? Well,
Barbie is famous for her plastic breasts.

Femen mastermind, Svengali Victor Svyatski, calls women ‘bitches’. Perfect
role model. Could this have been the inspiration for Lily Allen’s video as the
chorus in her video repeats the very same pejorative word. Great minds think
alike. He’s been ‘kicked out’ for controlling, aggressive behaviour. No mother to
replace him?

To quote him: “These girls are weak. They don’t have the strength of character.
They don’t even have the desire to be strong. Instead, they show
submissiveness, spinelessness, lack of punctuality, and many other factors that
prevent them from becoming political activists. These are qualities that is
essential to teach them.” And to go naked naturally.

The Femen view is if you bare your lovely breasts, people will pay attention.
Well, yes they will, but they won’t be listening will they.... “Our mission is
protest. Our weapon is bare breasts.” Not to mention thigh-high boots and frilly
pants. They originally used street theatre wearing men’s suits or dressed as
prostitutes. Men’s suits. Now that image might create a proper political
statement. Evidently not.

A former German member told South Africa's
Mail & Guardian: "Femen wants
only pretty women. If you were ugly or over 30 they push you away." And
according to an investigation by Italian newspaper
ll Foglio, European activists
get 1,000 Euros a day when involved in a protest.  You’re losing the battle here
ladies, girls, women – feminists(?)

RIP Doris Lessing. An genuine role model.
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