|LETTERS FROM LONDON
|REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
20 September 2013
I’d Rather Eat My own Hair:
London Fashion Week is over. We were seemingly spared the nearly
ubiquitous hair style that is pointlessly popular.
The nest, bun, mushroom, second head on top of the head. Huh? All I can think
of is the brilliant How to Get Ahead in Advertising with the brilliant Richard E
Grant. Although his second head grew on his shoulder and talked to him.
Alleged British drug mule Michaella McCollum held in a Peruvian jail wins head
and hands down. What is that substantial pouf of hair on top of her head and
why? Lauren on EastEnders has made the effort, but Lucy’s top-knot tops hers.
OK. If it’s twisted, braided, creatively engineered – perhaps not so harebrained
(so sorry) – but really, it’s simply daft – so stop it.
Queen of British fashion, Vivienne Westwood, has offered practical advice for
those who love fashion; buy fewer, buy more expensive. Excuse moi. Who
exactly can afford her clothes? The rich, like VW.
Dame Viv’s interns are unpaid for their three month stints. She produces 6
collections a year, has opened 4 new stores this last year with more planned
and has a profit of £5 million with her turnover at £30.1 million. Do the maths;
she surely does.
Niqab okay? Balaclava okay? Clown makeup okay? Masks of Diana, Harry,
Peppa Pig okay? A paper bag okay? Could large sunglasses be the solution?
British ‘live and let live’ attitude is up for discussion with young girls, nurses,
teachers, court witnesses covering up with the niqab. Quite tricky this.
Naturally people should be able to wear whatever they choose as a way of
expressing themselves, their personality, creativity, culture, social position,
tribe, age, ad inf. But herein lies the problem.
We’ve heard all the ‘reasons’ but at the end of the day, religious
fundamentalism is suspect regardless of the belief system; it separates/isolates
people. And why don’t men show their devotion by donning the niqab?
Designer Tom Ford has quite a bit to say about self-expression via clothing.
“London is one of the few cities where people still dress properly and fashion
exists. Every day I see women who've thought about their outfits. They've
picked out the bag, put on proper shoes...Do you know how rare it is in parts of
America to actually see 'an outfit'? France? I don't want to be anti-French but
there isn't a more unattractive group of people on the streets." Mon dieu.
“...here’s a question for you - have you ever watched Here Comes Honey Boo
Boo?" - a cult US reality programme about a child beauty queen which has TF
so disturbed, apparently he often considers giving up his US citizenship.
It has been 26 years since Naomi Campbell featured on the Vogue cover. She
has been interviewed during Fashion Week and wants more ‘women of colour’
on the catwalk. Stand back. Hide under the table. This woman is very angry
indeed. Not about the lack of women of colour not represented. Just enraged.
Clearly the question is why are the models all white and 14 years old? But while
Naomi kept alluding to famous black models from the past, she failed to mention
missing Chinese, Asian, Japanese, etc.
Do what she says, but don’t let her carry her mobile. She is verrrry scary.