LETTERS FROM LONDON
REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
7 December 2012
FASHION-ABLE

Beyond the Fringe  

Beyond the fringe...beyond the pale. The news of the century: Ex-Waity has a
new fringe and journalists concluded she was pregnant. So right yet so wrong.
Women have their hair cut for all sorts of reasons so creating a few bits of hair
to peak out from à la Diana doesn't automatically mean there is an heir
because of the hair.

As we all - and I mean all of us know she is fulfilling the requirements of her
position. However, fourteen...fourteen pages devoted to Ex-Waity's condition is
even too much for
The Daily News.

Prepare for endless months of detailed coverage. Kate is now able to look at a
apple. Kate licked a peach for the first time since her hospital stay. Kate is
determined to keep her model figure by eating only once a day. Kate has a
servant reading from baby name lists. Kate refuses to stop dying her hair
regardless of twitter warnings. Kate has announced she no longer has an
aversion to red. Kate hires a hair toss-er from the salon she uses. Kate orders
her genealogy to be deleted from all sources. Kate has made it clear that any
presents from the friends she dropped unceremoniously when she attached
herself to William will be returned. Kate has requested a private meeting with
Charles to tell him she won't allow him to ascend the throne.

Medical director at London Women's Clinic, Dr Peter Bowen-Simpkins, told the
BBC: "People who get it get intractable vomiting and may lose as much as 10
per cent of their body weight and become very dehydrated." Oh dear. Having
been living on the Ducan Diet to achieve that 'model' physique, she could
become a mere shadow of her former commoner self or disappear completely.
Now wouldn't that be newsworthy.  

Although after Ex-Waity's 20 years of perfect planning, I doubt we will have five
minutes of relief from the coverage. Bookies will benefit most after Ex-Waity.


But Is It Pants?

Yoko does fashion. Her new menswear collection was inspired by wedding
sketches she made for John in 1969.

White handprint on crouch of black trousers, white trousers with transparent
bum-revealing cut-out, light-up codpieces, two anatomically placed flashing
lights on a bandeau all available at US based franchise, Opening Ceremony
with an opening in  New York.

Regarding the trousers, Yoko's response: “People are scared of having sex.
[they are?] I wanted to give them at least some conceptual fun.” Clearly a relief
from the award winning, embarrassingly bad
50 Shades of Grey. "That it’s a bit
outrageous in the way that makes people relax and laugh. We need some
laughter in the world. I hope I will give it to them with these gorgeous clothes.
The world is in such turmoil. People are all scared. Let’s give them fun." OK. All
you need is nearly three to nearly eight hundred dollars and a lethargic libido.


Stellar Designs

Having fun is Stella McCartney who inexplicably won 2 awards at the
prestigious British Fashion Awards; one for designer brand of the year beating
Christopher Kane and Mary Katrantzou...the very same Mary Katrantzou who is
clearly a brilliant innovative designer. SM hadn't shown in London in 16 years.
She returned in time for the Olympics.

Stella's early designs were more 'look away now'...although we couldn't
because she had Kate Moss et al modelling them at her debut show. However
the clothing is still derivative and often plagiarised, but has improved - or her
designers have. Her Team GB kit was unimaginative, uninspiring and boring.
Nevertheless deserving of an award apparently. Now if her name were...fill-in-
the-blank....

People who work for her say she is lovely. No doubt she is, but award winning -
really. This is Paul's daughter's second designer of the year award. She
received one in 2007.
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