Humorous Views on London Culture, Royals, Gossip and Politics

community centres, on the council estates, in hospitals. It’s the American-style election: it’s who’s
down wit da youts.

“Yo man. I’m way cooler than you.”

“Dude. You so ain’t.”

“Epaulets, Dave? The Gap 2009, Dave? Black, navy and brown Dave?”
“Big billowing windcheater, Gordie? I think not.”

“Indeed.”

The gloves are off, the uncool jackets are on. It’s the boys and their Stepford wives vying for
votes for the May 6th election.

Sarah and Gordie are out and about with their angst-ridden faces looking like rabbits in
headlights holding hands in their silly colour-coordinated costumes, Sam ‘n Dave are ubiquitous.
New high street attire on show, what Sam ate for breakfast, public display of physical affection,
endless referencing of the well-timed ‘bump’ and crikey – SamCam on the webcam. Sam: “I’m a
working mum. We have to pay for childcare. I don’t have huge amounts of spare cash to spend
on designer clothing.” What is Dave doing with his £30m then? Hand me the sickbag when you've
finished with it please.

Americans have arrived en masse to work flat out whipping the boys into shape for a proper
shallow American election. “How to sit, how to stand, how to gesture, how to pause.” How to
say a seven word sentence seven times with emphasis on a different word each time. Scary.

Miriam Gonzalez Durantez, Nick Clegg’s wife - no fashion faux pas fashionista - for president.