|LETTERS FROM LONDON
|REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
20 April 2014
Oh Dave. PM CallMeDave breaks with tradition. CallMeDave does god.
CallMeDave does American. CallMeDave does anything to be elected. Nothing
new there, but now Dave announces “I am evangelical about Christian faith.”
Note the formerly ‘modern’ ‘take it or leave it’ religious Dave.
Previously CMD told us his faith was “a bit like the reception for Magic FM in
the Chilterns: it sort of comes and goes”. Possibly the same for the 59% of
Christians in the UK.
CMD now takes the moral high ground as he tells his flock of fools the role
religion can have in “helping people to have a moral code” and criticises non-
believers for not seeing the light. Hmmm. Did we know that Dave even knew
what a moral code was....
Three times lucky? CallMeDave isn’t giving up on his new found fanatical
fundamentalism. In one week he has tried to persuade potential voters of his
unfailing, unquestionable, unlimited faith three times. This scheme is getting
boringly obvious, Dave. Oh dear god; save us from Dave’s election
propaganda, electoral posturing.
Dave told an Easter reception at Downing Street that religion has brought him
his greatest moments of peace and claimed “Jesus invented the big society
2,000 years ago”. Now that has escaped me until now, Dave.
Will CMD introduce biblical passages in Prime Minister’s Questions? ‘...suffer
the little children to come unto me...’, ‘...easier for a camel to go through the
eye of a needle...’ ?
The proselytising prime minister is now on a missionary mission with
missionary zeal. He wants every Christian in Christian Britain to spread the
word as his nemesis Nigel (Farage) has been using religion to court anti-
immigration, pro-isolationist votes.
"I believe we should be more confident about our status as a Christian country,
more ambitious about expanding the role of faith-based organisations, and,
frankly, more evangelical about a faith that compels us to get out there and
make a difference to people's lives."
Okay. Not had enough yet? Here’s more: Dave has admitted he’s "a bit vague
on some of the more difficult parts of that faith", but reassures us the church
"really matters" to him. Really. Really.
I could mention that CMD said he wanted to improve “the education of our
children” but I just can’t.
School staff is feeding those children. 4,000 teachers report children coming to
school malnourished, hungry, cold, unwashed and unsuitably dressed due to
poverty. All the arts and school trips are no longer possible for the children. We
have passed the ‘heat or eat’ dilemma with 27% of children having lost their
homes, 36% are living in temporary accommodation.
40 Anglican bishops and 600 church leaders have written a letter urging all
parties to deal with the causes of food poverty the direct result of Dave’s
morally-based austerity cuts. Christian charity, Dave.
It never ends. CMD also released an Easter message via video for his Christian
country, in which he talked about the "countless acts of kindness carried out by
those who believe in and follow Christ". In an article for the Church Times,
CMD declared some atheists and agnostics did not understand that faith could
be a “guide or helpful prod in the right direction” towards morality.
If it all weren’t so patently obvious, you’d have to laugh, no you really would do.
Dave knows nothing about religious teachings. Think about it. If he learns, he
will be beyond insufferable.
While considering the insufferable, the endlessly irritating James Corden, 32
but surely closer to 12 in emotional development, played the send-to-all game
on Michael McIntyre’s phone on the last show of the series.
JC’s text to all: ‘I’ve just finished my chat show and I need to cut loose. Me and
you, lap dancing. Are you in or out? Come on, let’s do this.’
A sampling response: Jeremy Clarkson: ‘YES! YES! YES!’... One Direction’s
Liam: ‘Brother – right now’...Richard Bacon: ‘One hundred percent in’...Gino D’
Acampo: ‘When and where and I’ll be there’....
MM’s text to all: ‘Let’s celebrate the win (Bafta nomination). Let’s go lap
dancing.’ Jack Whitehall was in, but mentioned he had been banned from
JC was close to puerile hysteria. Emergency services at the ready with oxygen.
Taken literally, ‘let’s go lap dancing’ - can you just imagine two unfit, overweight
guys not noted for their particular good looks wrapped around a pole naked and
all that follows. I could get hysterical. Well, no I couldn’t really.
Their partners, wives, children, mothers should be bursting with pride.
While thinking about in your face lap dancing; the UN Humans Rights Council
had South African human rights expert, Public Law professor at the University
of Cape Town, Rashida Manjoo, to monitor violence against women in the UK.
Her conclusion: sexism in Britain is more widespread than in any other country
due to a 'boys' club culture'. It’s more ‘in-your-face’ than in other misogynist
cultures. Get it? In-your-face. Pervasive, persistent, pathetic. She said positive
developments “are not applied consistently throughout the country”.
“The easy availability of porn, the use of social media including influencing
young children around images...harassment on the Tube” were part of her
findings when she went to London, Leicester, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Belfast,
Cookstown, Cardiff and Bristol where she consulted UK government officials,
civil society organisation and individual survivors of violence. Cuts in public
spending were increasing gender inequality.
Manjoo suggests gender equality needs to be addressed in the schools. Her
4,000 word report has been reduced to: ‘Britain is the most sexist country in the
world’. Cue outrage.
Naturally men have formed a queue to rant about how it’s not true. They have
naturally made it into an in-your-face competition. A few delightful responses:
bill 40: It's only a bunch of women saying this, what do they know?
claphamomnibusbloke: Someone should tell the silly b*tch to s*d off and mind
her own effing business.
Robbydot1: Silly cow. Look to your own backyard, women.
EquusMerde: Tell her to foxtrot oscar - brainless mare!
No hints of in-your-face sexism here.
Founder of the Everyday Sexism Project, Laura Bates, has received 60,000
stories and counting for her website.
It’s pointless to list the usual disheartening statistics regarding the life and plight
of women, but to put things into perspective for a minute, there are now 3 times
more young women in low paid jobs than 20 years ago.
Women insist naively: “We’ve come a long way”. Long way? Long bloody way?
We’re more than half of the human population. Let’s face reality sans make-up:
women are considered good for only two things: sex and servitude or as
responses in Bates’ new book are quoted: “Still not seeing the sexism, you daft
c***s” or “Go back to the kitchen, you slags”. Oh. OK. If you say so.
The end of women being continuously mutilated, murdered, stoned, raped,
beaten, blanked, humiliated, dismissed, undervalued until both genders totally
Women must give up relying on men to give them their raison d’etre, their self-
worth, their existence and men must give up their personal power, perceived
superiority, arrogant authority over indispensable participants in the world. But
if you hold your breath in anticipation, you’ll faint – just like a women.