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| Letters From London |
| Humorous Views on London Culture, Royals, Gossip and Politics |
TheSilly Season or Idiot's Delight - 9 August 2009
First idiot: Massively rolling in it Rupert Murdoch has announced that he is going to start charging
for his online news services which include The Wall Street Journal and the New York Post, the
Times and the Sunday Times, the Sun and the News of the World. Will people pay to read
rubbish on line when they can often buy for 20p? I think not. ‘We had sex every day for a month!’
Enticing? I think not. Can people who read The Sun and the News of the World actually read?
“We intend to charge for all our news websites,” said the man who assumes everything he does
is pure genius. “If we're successful, we'll be followed by all media…our policy is to win.” That
was never in doubt. So clearly Rupert’s communications empire is based solely on profitability
and not on the distribution of news. Fox TV is surely a major hint here. Not to mention Page
Three…I see…it’s pay-per-view.
Second idiot: the Russian cult figure and pin-up – Vladimir is posing and posturing bare-breasted
– again. Still-shot swagger snaps from Siberia that will be seen around the world. The macho
wonder is photographed moodily pensive, cooler than cool in his really cool ‘shades’ and (oh god)
bare-breasted again (ew) - a Page Three candidate perhaps? - on a cheerless looking horse.
Action pics show Putin flailing around demonstrating the butterfly stroke - or was it the breast
stroke… roughing it by white water rafting, snapping wood with his bare hands for a fire, fishing
in his military fatigues. Best to look away – just too creepy.
Third idiot: prime minister wanna be chameleon David Cameron has been displaying signs of
being in thrall to and enraptured by his new best friend and mentor, Michael Kaminski, the new
leader of the far-right Polish Law and Justice Party considered “the face of ‘respectable fascism’”
– virulently anti-gay and anti-Semitic. So Dave’s gone off Tony (Blair).
Dave caused controversy in June by leaving the mainstream European People's Party of Nicolas
Sarkozy and Angela Merkel and forming a new anti-federalist grouping with the notorious
Kaminsky. The Law and Justice Party has a record of homophobia. When a life long loyal Tory
party whip expressed displeasure with this alliance and made a stand against "the rise of
disguised extremism in Europe" - Dave abruptly expelled him from the party. Silly Dave. I do
believe Dave is now sporting a newly pressed and laundered black shirt.
Fourth idiot: Tory turn-coat, John Bercow, the new Common’s Speaker replacing the greedy,
duplicitous Michael Martin who gave carte blanche to MPs to “spend, spend, spend.”
A Commons source said: “The (new) Speaker believes that these are reasonable costs and they
reflect the fact that he has a young family to accommodate. He believes people can see that it is
not extravagance and that the money has been spent wisely, for example the bed that he has
brought in is from Ikea”.
In fact, the bed from Ikea was purchased by us for his nanny. He and his wife are sleeping in
splendour. They have charged us £6,764.30 for their new and necessary sofa and £760 for
window seat cushions. £7,524.30 for cushions and sofa + three children under five = three
accidents waiting to happen…chocolate, pizza, puds….
Up to now, the total is now £20,659.36 with a further £20,000 has been allocated to cover
general maintenance of his rent free Palace of Westminster lavish accommodation refurbished
by predecessor Michael Martin – our bill was £724,600 plus £992,000 for the garden. I doubt
there is too much left to do to bring it up to the Bercow family’s standards. Although we will be
paying for a noticeboard for the kitchen. Notice: spend, spend, spend.
With the MPs’ expenses scandal creating outrage, Bercow swore on his Ikea catalogue to help
restore public trust in Parliament….
The winner: the government owned Met Office is doling out bonuses for the phenomenal
accuracy of their forecasts by staff. Undeniably we have enjoyed our promised ‘barbecue
summer’… rain records set, average temperature of spring… oh yes, there were a few warm
sunny days – in April. We are waiting…. August now promises to be wet, very wet.
£1.1m has been awarded for not forecasting “one of the wettest (summers) on record across
the UK.” Their quote. Last year they inspired us to leave our heavy coats and woolly scarves in
the back of the wardrobe with their winter forecast of a milder than average winter. It was the
coldest in 13 years.
The Met Office informed us that their short-term forecasts were “very, very good” and
increasingly accurate. Not in my neighbourhood. They said they had met 3 out of 4 of their
targets for forecasts in the year ending in March. Does that mean they were accurate 3 days out
of 4 months? Silly season? More like idiot’s delight. Idiots.
First idiot: Massively rolling in it Rupert Murdoch has announced that he is going to start charging
for his online news services which include The Wall Street Journal and the New York Post, the
Times and the Sunday Times, the Sun and the News of the World. Will people pay to read
rubbish on line when they can often buy for 20p? I think not. ‘We had sex every day for a month!’
Enticing? I think not. Can people who read The Sun and the News of the World actually read?
“We intend to charge for all our news websites,” said the man who assumes everything he does
is pure genius. “If we're successful, we'll be followed by all media…our policy is to win.” That
was never in doubt. So clearly Rupert’s communications empire is based solely on profitability
and not on the distribution of news. Fox TV is surely a major hint here. Not to mention Page
Three…I see…it’s pay-per-view.
Second idiot: the Russian cult figure and pin-up – Vladimir is posing and posturing bare-breasted
– again. Still-shot swagger snaps from Siberia that will be seen around the world. The macho
wonder is photographed moodily pensive, cooler than cool in his really cool ‘shades’ and (oh god)
bare-breasted again (ew) - a Page Three candidate perhaps? - on a cheerless looking horse.
Action pics show Putin flailing around demonstrating the butterfly stroke - or was it the breast
stroke… roughing it by white water rafting, snapping wood with his bare hands for a fire, fishing
in his military fatigues. Best to look away – just too creepy.
Third idiot: prime minister wanna be chameleon David Cameron has been displaying signs of
being in thrall to and enraptured by his new best friend and mentor, Michael Kaminski, the new
leader of the far-right Polish Law and Justice Party considered “the face of ‘respectable fascism’”
– virulently anti-gay and anti-Semitic. So Dave’s gone off Tony (Blair).
Dave caused controversy in June by leaving the mainstream European People's Party of Nicolas
Sarkozy and Angela Merkel and forming a new anti-federalist grouping with the notorious
Kaminsky. The Law and Justice Party has a record of homophobia. When a life long loyal Tory
party whip expressed displeasure with this alliance and made a stand against "the rise of
disguised extremism in Europe" - Dave abruptly expelled him from the party. Silly Dave. I do
believe Dave is now sporting a newly pressed and laundered black shirt.
Fourth idiot: Tory turn-coat, John Bercow, the new Common’s Speaker replacing the greedy,
duplicitous Michael Martin who gave carte blanche to MPs to “spend, spend, spend.”
A Commons source said: “The (new) Speaker believes that these are reasonable costs and they
reflect the fact that he has a young family to accommodate. He believes people can see that it is
not extravagance and that the money has been spent wisely, for example the bed that he has
brought in is from Ikea”.
In fact, the bed from Ikea was purchased by us for his nanny. He and his wife are sleeping in
splendour. They have charged us £6,764.30 for their new and necessary sofa and £760 for
window seat cushions. £7,524.30 for cushions and sofa + three children under five = three
accidents waiting to happen…chocolate, pizza, puds….
Up to now, the total is now £20,659.36 with a further £20,000 has been allocated to cover
general maintenance of his rent free Palace of Westminster lavish accommodation refurbished
by predecessor Michael Martin – our bill was £724,600 plus £992,000 for the garden. I doubt
there is too much left to do to bring it up to the Bercow family’s standards. Although we will be
paying for a noticeboard for the kitchen. Notice: spend, spend, spend.
With the MPs’ expenses scandal creating outrage, Bercow swore on his Ikea catalogue to help
restore public trust in Parliament….
The winner: the government owned Met Office is doling out bonuses for the phenomenal
accuracy of their forecasts by staff. Undeniably we have enjoyed our promised ‘barbecue
summer’… rain records set, average temperature of spring… oh yes, there were a few warm
sunny days – in April. We are waiting…. August now promises to be wet, very wet.
£1.1m has been awarded for not forecasting “one of the wettest (summers) on record across
the UK.” Their quote. Last year they inspired us to leave our heavy coats and woolly scarves in
the back of the wardrobe with their winter forecast of a milder than average winter. It was the
coldest in 13 years.
The Met Office informed us that their short-term forecasts were “very, very good” and
increasingly accurate. Not in my neighbourhood. They said they had met 3 out of 4 of their
targets for forecasts in the year ending in March. Does that mean they were accurate 3 days out
of 4 months? Silly season? More like idiot’s delight. Idiots.
