|LETTERS FROM LONDON
|REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
30 September 2017
With the party conventions upon us, “Ohhh Therrr-eeeeee-sssss-aaa”, you’ll
never hear this from Tory supporters. Not like the continuous “Ohhh Jerrrr-e-
mmmmyyyyy. Jerrr-e-mmmmyyyy…” and variations of. Theresa - a cult of
personality? Now that is an amusing thought. That out-dated “strong and stable,
strong and stable, strong and stable” just didn’t quite inspire, did it? Jeremy
should add Theresa to his Christmas list as she has just handed him even more
voters. Her snap election denial deserves a present. Ohhhhh Therrreeesssa.
What have you done?
It isn’t just her party that is out to get her, not knifing her in the back, now it’s
from the front, the newspapers’ bizarre coverage can be included as well. Totally
sexist, chauvinistic misogyny with accusations of a nervous breakdown?
Hysterical crying? Total self-absorption? Lack of Grenfell empathy reporting?
And then there is that tuition fee U-turn bribe. Mon Dieu! Ohhhhh Therrreeesssa.
What have you done?
We know what Jeremy has proposed when he takes office while Theresa is
merely a memory. But here’s a financial suggestion other than rent control,
corporate taxes; Jeremy has named Mary Wollstonecraft to be put on a
banknote. Now seriously, that is radical you must admit. If you need reminding;
she was a revolutionary pioneering feminist, the mother of Mary Shelley, and
she opened the first girl’s school in Jeremy’s constituency. He knew that. We
surely didn’t. Of course she wrote A Vindication of the Rights of Women – in
1792. Her demand for equality between men and women. And now? At the rate
‘progress’ is being made, women will never be equal. Turning in her grave? Oh
she did that centuries ago.
Back to the Labour Conference. BBC’s political editor, Laura Kuenssberg
needed a bodyguard because of BBC’s concern for her safety. Now what do
you suppose happened next? Naturally there was the usual: she asked for it, she
deserves it. “This is due to her BBC confirmed anti-Corbyn bias.” Right. Vile
misogyny never stops, does it? Note Diane Abbott’s vicious trolls. Not exactly
anti-Corbyn is she? Mary Wollstonecraft would be shrieking in her grave.
We know Jeremy has ‘rock star’ status. Here are a few of the items you could
buy to feel closer. A big scarf, a tote bag, a t-shirt and – hmmm – shaving
cream. Yes I know, but it says on the tin: “The shaving cream Corbyn has never
used”. Other than the obvious attempt at irony, not terribly clever really.
And our Tory friends? Well, evidently Tory activists have been forced to cancel
events in Manchester next week. Anti-austerity, anti-Brexit and anti-badger cull
animal rights extremists declared their plans to “lay siege” to the party
conference. Uh oh. Banners calling on people to “hunt Tories” have appeared
on bridges around Manchester this week. Oh dear. They are a serious lot. And
what were they suggesting? A 200-strong ‘flash mob’ to meet Tory delegates at
Manchester Piccadilly station. Beyond handbags at dawn. Tameside Tories had
to cancel a gin tasting event in central Manchester. Ahhh. Now that is tragic.
And how could we forget what Boris is up? Our favourite blundering bungling
buffoon has chosen alliteration to express his self-valued opinion on the need for
a long transition period in the Brexit negotiations. His preferred stylistic device
used to establish his cunning cleverness and superior, supreme intellect. See
what I’ve done here?
Brexiteer Boris believes British companies will suddenly (note, suddenly)
become more productive when “finally unbound, unshackled, unleashed from the
coils and toils of the common commercial policy.” Blimey, Boris. So boring.
On the eve of the Tory conference, channel 4’s programme on Boris which
included Boris in Myanmar, reciting On the Road to Mandalay – Kipling of
course, the pro-colonial poem. Boris needs a constant minder…or a gag.
Another faux pas, another gaff, another day.
Now here’s an example of why the EU exists, if you need reminding that is.
Massive tax-avoiding Google meets Europe's deadline to open access to
shopping rivals. Come on, you know you love this. Well, you should.
And why exactly? Surely not about money. The changes came after Google
faced a record antitrust fine of $2.8 billion. EU regulators determined that
Google had used its internet search dominance to favour its own shopping
service over those of its rivals. Quelle surprise!
A spokesman for Google in Brussels said: "We're giving comparison shopping
services the same opportunity to show shopping ads from merchants on
Google's search results pages as we give to Google Shopping." Now isn’t the
value of the EU regulators obvious?
To the Tower
Emma Dent Coad, the first Labour MP to represent Kensington and Chelsea,
was speaking at an event where another Labour activist called for the Queen to
be executed. Do I smell treason here? And the event where this could be boldly
An event organised by Labour for A Republic and titled “Reigning in the
Monarchy”, where Ms Dent Coad felt free to express her opinion. We know how
she feels about the Middletons, and yes, including the “I’m going to be queen
and you’re not” Ex-Waity. Reminder: they are our Kardashians. At the Grenfell
Tower fire, she told activists “I am the royal family’s worst nightmare”. She has
now proven that by suggesting Prince Harry was too incompetent to play a
proper role in the Army. He was deployed to Afghanistan twice.
The MP said: “Harry can’t actually fly a helicopter... He tried to pass the
helicopter exam about four times and he couldn’t get through it at all so he
always goes for the co-pilot. So he just sits there going ‘vroom vroom’.” OK. It’s
the ‘vroom vroom’ isn’t it?
Naturally monarchists rush to his defence. They said Harry rose to the rank of
Captain and was a qualified pilot of Apache helicopters and served as a co-pilot
gunner. When asked if he had killed, Harry replied: “Yeah, so lots of people
have. Everyone’s fired a certain amount. If there’s people trying to do bad stuff
to our guys, we’ll take them out of the game. I’m not out here on a free pass.” He
likening his participation in combat operations to playing computer games. Ms
Dent Coad said that Harry and William are “not very bright”, adding: “Just let
them drift away, be playboys or whatever.” “Not very bright”…not really. As for
Ex-Waity, she said it was “disgusting” that she - or was it we – had bought
jumpers at £150 each? “This is a food bill for a family of four.” Referencing
the Duke and Duchess – the family of four bit obviously, not the food bill. She
couldn’t resist the 96-year-old Duke of Edinburgh. “He’s been quite unfaithful for
quite a few years.” Number of years? Decades darling.
The Reigning in The Monarchy event was billed as a ‘discussion on the future of
the monarchy and the reforms that Labour should promote’. Since then, Dent
Coad has admitted she may have been wrong over Harry’s military record,
based on what she had been told, but didn’t see the need to apologise. “I want a
debate about taxpayers funding the Royal Family…I have been getting all sorts
of vile abuse…”
Continuing her attack on the Royal Family, the MP criticised the BBC for its
“sickeningly gratuitous coverage of anything royal. It is a piece of the whole
propaganda machine.” Gosh. A woman who ‘speaks her mind’. Mary W would