LETTERS FROM LONDON
REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
7 June 2011
1. Cheryl Who
Breath-holding until fainting is no longer an option, scantily-clad gyrating
‘dancers’, Amanda Holden’s plastic face-mask, Simon’s curious flattened
hedgehog hair, the epileptic-inducing lighting, the beyond brainless acts, voices
that have been implausibly manipulated technically: so falsely-tuned, auto-
tuned, doubled-over, frequency-enhanced, tone-generated and super-echoed,
a cat would sound like Maria Callas and lest we forget, when someone forgot to
alter Katie Perry’s voice on
The X Factor, we discovered that she absolutely
can not sing.

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2. Oh That 'F' Word Again
Same old, same old rhetoric. Sigh. So boring. ‘Boys will be boys’, ‘It’s all a bit
of fun’, ‘I’m empowered because I’m getting paid’. If one person interviewed or
one person calling into a talk show spent one moment to think, would they be so
stupid. ‘It’s not about you’. Trying to imagine a wider context than aggressive
self-interest and self-referring might be too much to ask.

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