LETTERS FROM LONDON
REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
8 May 2015
The Blame Game Won
                
It was Fear and Loathing in Britain what won it – thanks to Lynton, thanks to the
majority of the newspapers, thanks to Nicola, thanks to the populous who
genuflect to the rich. You know, that one percent who had their riches double
under the toffs – and now it can be trebled. Thrilling.

The next few years, until the Tories shove Boris into CallMeDave’s seat, if he fits
that is, we’ll suffer with dim Dave telling us how excited – or excuse me – ‘lively’
and ‘pumped up’ we should be at the total privatisation of the country. Yay!

Is it time to store up those tinned foods from the food bank – major austerity is
coming. You know, the austerity that is a complete conservative invention
according to prominent economists. People clearly voted for a ‘heat or eat’
society – and Trident, no major tax increases and £12bn worth of welfare cuts.
Brilliant.

Friday CallMeDave said: “I would like my party… to reclaim the mantle that we
should never have lost. The mantle of one nation; one United Kingdom.” Don’t
count on it, Dave.

Good job done by Obama strategist/guru American David Axelrod who came to
Britain – what – three oh it may have been even four times to create a win for
Ed. Very good. Was that ludicrous, embarrassing stone tablet of promises his
idea? Referencing Moses? Really? Miliband was totally misguided. But DA is
home counting his pay packet and ignoring all skype requests.

The body count: Nick, clearly the only human choice…Nige, but seemingly it’s
only temporary while he goes on holiday…Ed, who came across as someone
who actually believes in his ideology…senior ministers all DOA: David Laws,
Danny Alexander, Douglas Alexander, Lynne Featherstone, Ed Davey, Jo
Swinson, Charles Kennedy, Simon Hughes, Vince Cable – so much for the Lib
Dems, but Ed Balls, Harriet Harman (more or less) – mon dieu!!! Hmmm. Now
what are the party allegiances of the pollsters then? Curious how they got it
soooooo wrong. Alan Johnson we miss you.

And we’re left with: Jeremy Hunt, Michael Gove, Philip Hammond, Grant
Shapps, Thesesa May, ad inf. Aurrrghhh. Oh say it isn’t so! Five more years. I’ll
have to watch TV with my mute button to hand. But beware the ruthless SNP
(rather like a cat torturing a cornered mouse). But beware the back-benchers
(sharpening their knives)…hopefully.

The Tories ran a truly disgusting, duplicitous, degrading campaign against Ed
through innuendo, derision, mockery, untruths and fear - and it worked ever so
well. What does that tell us about Dave and the boys then? What does that tell us
about those who voted them in then?

Surely Dave has had Ed’s stone tablet set up for him in Highgate Cemetery.
Many are feeling fatally funereal. Where’s my black arm band….


FYI

Schools are being forced to spend approximately £43m a year on their pupils. I
hear a collective ‘huh’. No, it’s not on art supplies, musical instruments,
microscopes, footballs, tutus – oh, those courses/activities have been eliminated
from the curricula haven’t they.

The general secretary of the National Association of Head Teachers, Russell
Hobby (interesting surname no?) has warned that teachers are being made to
act as “miniature welfare states” to compensate for the Tory cuts to health and
social care budgets.

Teachers are not just buying food, but also buying uniforms and actual
underwear (now that is sad) for their pupils. One school has to supply
toothbrushes and actually told the pupils they need to brush twice a day. Oh
dear, oh dear. Surely not one of the schools Dave’s strategists chose for his silly
stage-managed visits? There are 1 million children living below the poverty-line
right now. But as you know, Dave doesn’t do poverty.

The teachers aren’t simply paying for pencils and paper, they have also bought
birthday cards and presents for children whom they knew would not receive any.
Some schools are operating food banks. But no worries. They are only children
and can’t vote against the Tories.

What a mess the Tory toffs are going to continue to create. Their note to Labour
(if they ever get back in government) could be: ‘There’s nothing left. We sold
everything to the rich. Ha. Ha.’  
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