Letters From London
Humorous Views on London Culture, Royals, Gossip and Politics
Strange Bedfellows - 2 September 2010

Why I spent the night with my 25 year old assistant, Christ Myers, in a hotel room on several
occasions:

I needed him to check under the bed for monsters.

I adhere to those ecological requests to save on extra linen and towels.

I really like his hair.

I need to hear a Yorkshire accent to put me to sleep.

I wanted the staff to think I had friends.

I worried about what tie to wear the next day.

I thought all MPs were expected to share a bedroom with their assistants.

Oh dear. Poor Foreign Secretary William Hague. He spent the night with his ‘special’
advisor/driver/gofer, he got caught out by the ever vigilant vitriolic press when he was
photographed looking unreservedly giddy while strolling in his new gear with his new best
friend/assistant/driver/gofer  along the Victorian Embankment last year; he put the fashion police
on alert with his new ‘weekend casual’ look – a baseball cap plus tucked in white sweatshirt –
never a good look at any time, he caved in to the internet inquisition when he publicly revealed
the agony of thirteen years of childlessness  due to miscarriages - one curiously having occurred
just this last summer. Me thinks he doth protest way too much.

Hotel witnesses revealed that Will ‘n Chris were clearly enchanted with each other over dinner in
the hotel. ‘The electricity between them was quite intense.  We worried about a blackout.’

Hague’s sleeping partner resigned last night after critics of his appointment said that he lacked
qualifications for such a senior Foreign Office role; the saga lives on and on with more
revelations to come this weekend. Rumour has it Hague will quit to follow his dream of becoming
one of the richest men in Britain through his well-established and terribly lucrative corporate
connections.

All the pontificating pundits have been emphatically swift to say Hague is surely not gay and
surely it is common for a government minister to sleep with his driver when away from home –
‘and surely haven’t we all done it?’  Well, no surely we haven’t.

In Hague’s own words: “Any suggestion that his appointment was due to an improper relationship
between us is utterly false, as is any suggestion that I have ever been involved in a relationship
with any man.” Hmmm. “It is very regrettable to have to make this personal statement, but we
have often said to each other ‘if only they knew the truth.’  Well, this is the straightforward truth.”
Oh dear, oh dear. Straight and forward ahead.

A shame really that being gay continues to illicit a pejorative response especially when most of
the world engages in it; they consider it a cultural interaction.