LETTERS FROM LONDON
REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
18 October 2015
Bargain Hunt

Who would have thought it? Chancellor Georgie-Boy is urgently selling off the
country. Oh yes again. Aren’t you surprised there is anything left to sell? Trust
Georgie to offer up the UK on a plate. Well, in this case more likely in a bowl
with bespoke chopsticks.

China has been given carte blanche to create ‘little China’ in Britain. It is getting
a bit tricky with us being the 51st state et al - and I don’t mean just fracking. The
US accepted an eye-watering amount of cash from China, but has refused to
cash in as we have. And what exactly is the advantage to China owning so much
of Britain? Not being paranoid here, but it is a legitimate question to ask. Not that
anyone is asking.

Georgie is waiting with flowers, flags, bunting and a band surely. “Welcome,
comrades. Our doors are open. Take what you want. And thank you. Thank you.
Human rights issues? No worries. The poor, the disabled, immigrants. We’ve
sorted that already. We’re considering constructing a great wall all around the
country – to keep out those nasty foreigners. Welcome. Biscuit with your Flower
Dragon tea?”

Chinese companies already hold a number of investments in the UK. The race is
on? China vs Qatar? China is now set to invest £105bn in British infrastructure
by 2025, focusing on property, transport and energy industries. Property
development, infrastructure, railways, HS2, Heathrow, House of Fraser,
Barclays Bank, BP and Diageo, Sunseekers boats, I mean yachts, the company
that makes taxis, Weetabix….Weetabix! Why Weetabix? A replacement in bird’s
nest soup? I think not. But more importantly: nuclear power. Weetabix…nuclear
power stations. Perfectly logical. Indeed.

Nuclear power stations with French owned EDF naturally – you know, the
country with cracks in their power stations. Wait. It isn’t just the French who fail
to plan, manufacture, build safe stations. Oh no. A leading Chinese scientist told
the Guardian this year that China’s nuclear power expansion plans are “insane”
because the country’s safety controls are not rigorous enough.

“China currently does not have enough experience to make sound judgments on
whether there could be accidents,” said He Zuoxiu, who worked on China’s
nuclear weapons programme. “The number of reactors and the amount of time
they have been operating safely both matter.”

Perfect. Perfect for a scientifically and technologically innovative and creative
country - that being the UK. I was trying to make a point here. China has been
industriously developing industry and infrastructure in Africa for 30 years. Non-
sequitur, I know, just saying….

According to Ben Chu writing in
The Independent: ‘China is interested in
investing in UK nuclear because it offers an opportunity to test out a China-
designed power station that Beijing hopes will be sellable around the world.’ Oh.
No worries. It’s just a test then. Worry!

MI5 have expressed concerns about the nuclear deal. If you haven’t worried,
now you really should. MI5…. It has been reported that Chinese hackers are
trying to breach the National Grid’s computer system 1,000 times a day. Ironic.

During a tour of one of the organisation’s operational centres, a senior source
supplied the figure to a freelance journalist and added: “The only time it drops
off is during Chinese New Year.” Attempts to break into the network that controls
the UK’s electricity supply are now at record levels, with Russia also believed to
be heavily involved in the high-tech espionage.’ Ironic.

The Tories have stopped all support of green energy. As you do - when you’re
ideologically driven and greed replaces green. But, MIT – not MI5 - researchers
achieved a new approach to solar energy by using genetically engineered
viruses. I know. Viruses? You say. Yikes. But the point being ‘solar energy’
innovation.

One way plants achieve efficiency is by making use of the exotic effects of
quantum mechanics sometimes known as ‘quantum weirdness.’ How much are
we liking that? These effects, which of course include the ability of a particle to
exist in more than one place at a time, have now been used by engineers at MIT
to achieve a significant efficiency boost in a light-harvesting system. So let’s
build more nuclear power plants in fracking areas where small earthquakes
result. What’s not to love about the Tories?


The Fun Bits…

Birthday Bankroll

As the pathetic, pleasing poodle, we have now welcomed an obsessive litigious
society. The US has not failed us. It has given us a new model to motivate us.
Jennifer Connell sued her twelve year old nephew when he accidently broke her
wrist. Jennifer wanted $127,000 (£82,000).

Eight year old Sean tried to jump into her arms giving her a birthday hug. Sweet.
Jennifer told the jury: “…he should have known better…all of a sudden he was in
the air, I had to catch him and we tumbled onto the ground.” Her lawyer told
them: “He was not careful. He was unsafe.” No. He really said that.  

The jury took 25 minutes deliberating. Really. 25. Jennifer maintained “a
reasonable eight-year-old should have known he could cause injury.” The
exceptional injury made it “difficult to hold my hors d’oeuvres plate.” How can
you not express your deep appreciation for the utter absurdity or is it simply
stupidity of Jen’s rational? She didn’t stop there. The wrist injury – note wrist –
made it harder for her to climb the stairs to her third floor NYC home. “I
remember him shouting: Auntie Jen, I love you!” Do you suppose he still does?
Hopefully not.

Oh wait. Breaking news followed. He still does. Of course they went on TV, as
you do in the US, to declare their mutual love. “She would never do anything to
hurt the family or myself.” Oops. Auntie Jen said she “was never comfortable”
with the lawsuit and wanted Sean’s parents’ insurance firm to pay for her
medical bills. $127,000 for a wrist? Well, aren’t we all relieved it’s happy families
again.


Mayor Mania

Oh Boris was being Boris. Surely everyone has viewed Boris rugby tackling a
ten-year-old schoolboy to the ground. Nothing new for Boris. He may be
planning to make the tackling/tripping of children an annual event. Last year to
the day he tripped a nine-year-old in a kick about. This year, he moved the
event to Tokyo. Boris may have momentarily forgotten in his frenzied enthusiasm
or desire to win over small children - the fundamental rules of touch rugby -
where a light tap/touch replaces any aggressive tackling; children included.

Tackled Toki Sekiguchi said he “felt a little bit of pain but it's okay”. The ten-year-
old said he enjoyed meeting the mayor. Do you suppose bully Boris told him to
say that?

Be mindful Georgie. Boris’ ruthlessness will surely match yours when the PM
position becomes available.
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